As a child sitting in church with nothing to do since the sermon was obviously a bunch of BS that the pastor himself didn't even believe, it occurred to me over and over, so many times that it became a part of me, that in order for anything to exist, infinity had to exist, and in order for infinity to exist, nothing could really matter. Time, for example, could not be of any great importance. The many things that my goody-two-shoes parents continuously fussed and worried about could not be of any real importance. And in church, while normal, intelligent, grown-up adults who should have known better were pretending to gulp down swill about some masochist they called Jesus Christ, I was sitting there getting it figured out. And what made sense was that nothing I was being taught to believe in seemed to make sense, once it was compared to infinity.
As a young teenager I learned about astral projection for the first time and my life's goal was set in concrete at that time. I couldn't believe my luck: my dreams had come true. There really is a better, more fluid reality. I didn't stick with it, because there were no instructions available. But I saved it for a retirement hobby. Now that I'm over 60 and retired and 9000 miles away from my relatives who think I'm nutbags, there are lots of instructions available for what I now call 'unworlding'. Most of the instructions suck, but I don't mind wading through them for that occasional kernel of wisdom. However, for the most part, it seems to be up to the individual to come up with his own instructions. For someone like me who can't often get unworlded easily (yet), half of the practice is about understanding the process well enough to instruct myself, hoping for more frequent unworldings, longer unworldings, and more interesting, relevant, personal, mystically outrageous unworldings. Unworlding for me is escapism unapologetically made into a fine art, getting higher than drugs can get me, and hey, while I'm at it, taking aim at eternity, whatever that is.
I'm creating this website as a set of unworlding instructions to myself. In the writings on this site, when I say "you," I'm talking to myself. When I say "they" or "we," I'm talking about myself. It's my own world that I intend to escape from by creating a body of air and flying to freedom, and I plan to do this by gradually merging the world I habitually wake up into with the world I habitually wake up from. The means for doing this will be to gradually change what the word "habitually" represents in the above statement. The merging will be from both directions. In waking life, my attitude will become, "This is a dream." In dreams, my attitude will become, "This is real." I don't know how long this will take. I'm not in a hurry. I don't mind being wrong. My beliefs and assumptions will change along the way.
At the end, I will not die. I will merge into a wholeness of reality orientation that is inconceivable from where I sit today. A configuration of possibilities, a meeting of possible ways in which my waking and dreaming worlds are the same, unified by a belief system that allows all this to happen as efficiently as possible. I know that none of what I hope to accomplish is likely to occur without a sustained effort on my part. Changing attitudes is easy to talk about, but hard to do. I've been at this phase of my practice now for two years and I can't imagine, after 28 experiences that I can call milestones, that anything can be more important to the practice than mindset. It's all about what we tell ourselves about reality, about the self, about the path, and about the goal.
Hoping to not appear arrogant, as if I was superior to the place we are all trapped, I will still mention that the human race as a whole seems crazed and self-destructive and ignorant to such an extent that I can't imagine that earth consciousness is anything but a blind alley, an offshoot from a greater and more benevolent realer reality. When it comes to earth vs. infinity, infinity makes the rules everywhere, while earth's rules only count on earth. The Earthville Mental Institution is a harmless-though-scary, benevolently strict holding tank for those who have not learned how to navigate the finer places. Because we need a reason for all the suffering, some ebulliently euphemize that we live in a school of sorts. I'd be more likely to characterize it as a prison camp for packets of perspectives: pretty OK cultures made up of pretty OK individuals which somehow manage to not accomplish anything except the destruction of cultures that really are superior. It would be easy to blame politics, capitalism, overpopulation, or anything else, but what about the notion that the universe is not broken and doesn't need to be fixed?
Is it possible that we're here because we are not wanted elsewhere? The way we behave, I wouldn't be surprised. Something about the way we interact with each other might make us a nuisance in the finer places. Some of us inmated perspectives may or may not be worth trying to recondition, to re-educate for use as self-powered vehicles to freedom. Which is OK, because we can stay here as long as we want to inhabit the identity that some greater knowledge--probably a more aware part of ourselves, even our future self--felt needed to be trapped in the whirlpool of the human form. We can bury ourselves in cultures and peer groups and identities that shield us from the harsh reality that nothing we do in bodies of dust on a planet of dust amounts to anything in the face of eternity. Fortunately I am not those cultures, I am not those other identities, I'm just one person. And we get unworlded one person at a time, so I'm really in my element here because I never understood why people are so dead set on doing everything in groups including adopting groupthink philosophies of life which a few invent for their own profit and the rest believe because it makes them feel safe. Whether or not someone makes a school of this mess is entirely up to him.
So I'm writing my own set of instructions, for me to test out on myself, and I'm putting it online in case anyone else can benefit from it. In case readers think I'm going to repeat the same blasted boring nonsense that they've seen on every other website about unworlding, that's not gonna happen here. I will challenge myself and anyone else who cares to read this. I will be radical and inventive. I will question the new age assumptions, which is really just the new status quo, and is mostly recycled theosophy, the hopeless guesses of modernized white folks trying to figure out what they were missing that primitive peoples knew all about. I will do all this for free because I don't trust the profit motive in myself or anyone else. It's part of the earth psychosis, the human form, to try to increase one's comfort by making others suffer. I don't have enough money to buy books very often, and when I do, I suffer, because my wife notices her grocery money missing and she makes sure I suffer for it. That is a preview of what I consider to be humor. Anyway, since I've been dirt poor most of my adult life, I know what it's like to see the coveted and long-awaited instructions show up at the New Age Bookstore with a price tag, and then when the price is met and the book comes home with me, the instructions suck because they were assembled with a profit motive. No one has to suffer to read my version, it is free.
Let me warn you that I believe that life is a dream. I believe that all dreams are lucid. Of course there is a scale of lucidity. I'm pretty sure that when you fritter away your time, energy, and self-confidence trying to decide whether you were really unworlded, or just dreaming that you were unworlded... you need this book. Because you ain't getting the big picture.
If anything exists, then infinity must exist. If infinity exists, then everything in it is a dream. Reality is determinedly paradoxical in nature. I am not always so insistent and illogical. It just so happens that I have thought this through. I've groped my way through to conclusions like this, while those around me who share this interest are all like, "Did I leave my body or did I just dream I left my body?" Dude. Give me a break. If anything is a dream, then everything is a dream. It's not important whether this is a fact. It's an attitude. Facts don't get people unworlded. Attitudes do.
BELOW: As a young rebel holding a one-man sit-in to protest forced overdrugging and forced isolation of individuals trapped in mental institutions against their will, I enjoyed the irony of being dragged out of the state capital building in Topeka, Kansas, past this famous painting of John Brown the abolitionist. I was wearing a white canvas backpack. Months later, I was looking through the same backpack and found a $20 bill. "That's odd," I thought, "I don't have any money!" I looked up and there was my body lying in the bed inches from my face. It was my first OBE. I'd waited 10 years for it to happen. My next OBE came 35 years later, not counting lucid dreams here or there.