DJ: Carlos Castaneda didn't really know me. He met me once in a bus depot and made the rest up. Pretty good books. I read 'em all. Buncha crap but still entertaining.
PM: You read the Spanish translation of his books?
DJ: Nah, I'm from Phoenix, Arizona, WWII vet, I only speak English from the good ole U.S. of A. I read the originals, bought 'em used, read 'em, gave 'em away. Never rolled cigarettes with the pages, never wiped my ass on the pages, I'm not that kinda guy. I guess I'm a real Indian though, or so my mama told me.
PM: But how do you know you're the real Don Juan Matus if you only met Carlos once?
DJ: Well I'm me ain't I? Donald Matus, middle name Juan. And I'll never forget the time I met Carlos. He was asking around about his main thing, you know, back then, his main thing was acid. He was a major acid head. He was asking around everywhere, 'Hey man, ya know where I can score some acid?' Of course bein' a disabled vet with lots of time spent in the VA hospital, I knew all about illegal drugs and I said, yeah, I can hook you up. I thought he was gonna shit. Of course I was lyin' to see what he'd do, he followed me around the depot like a lost puppy dog for about an hour before he realized I was shittin' him. Hell, I was just a burned up old alcoholic hangin' around in the bus depot with no place else to be. I was just entertainin' him with my googly eyes, didn't know I was gonna inspire the first page of several of his books by givin' him a funny look.
PM: But how did you know his name?
DJ: He told me his name. So I told him if he wanted to buy illegal drugs in the bus depot, he should use a fake name, and he said he already was. But it's the same fake name he put on his books. I told him my name because he told me his. Then I led him around the fire hydrant for a good hour, it was a load of fun, and I guess he never forgot it.
PM: What do you think he learned from meeting you?
DJ: Googly eyes, I guess. Pretty good books though.
PM: And what about your alcoholism?
DJ: Cured that ages ago, using Castaneda's books as inspiration.
