Part One: October 27, 2015
The secret of success is that there is no such thing as success.
Let's take a look at one of my many retractors in this regard, Carlos Castaneda. He wrote books like this one except he made millions of dollars doing it. In his way of teaching metaphysics, he said that a "warrior" had to be "successful". He prescribed an academic degree for his followers, because it would impose discipline. Then he died and we learned that his million-dollar encampment was a sex commune and he was just a tired old man writing fiction while dying of liver cancer.
By the way, I love his books and I love Carlos too. He was a truly great comedian, and his metaphysical notions had a certain amount of influence. And I have nothing against millionaires running sex communes.
Carlos and others who preach success are in the "look what I can do" phase of their childhood. They are naturals so they are showoffs. This includes the banksters who have ruined the United States under the motto "because I can". Power of any kind is addictive; you can't take just one bite. Never mind that it takes a million poor people to make one person rich.
Here's what happens.
A person who bemoans his lack of social ability gets ahold of a self-help book and is won over by the writer's exaggerated claims which are nothing more than marketing. These books have to be sold to publishers who don't intend to print them if people are not going to eat them up like candy. Now our somewhat lonely and socially clumsy friend takes up the torch for this writer, starts preaching this writer's gospel, and probably becomes deranged by a finicky and unreliable bedfellow, "hope". Our little friend might be a perfectionist too, in which case he will become doubly obsessed with any system that promises to make him a real stud among the enlightened, or a real Barbie doll down at the new age organic feed-off next Sunday afternoon. Spouting better new age swill than the other chicks and dudes works wonders for getting one laid.
I knew a guy named Andy who had the misfortune of being addicted to self-improvement. He was a little control freak who had, as part of his program of trying to become a big control freak, managed to procure the romantic inclinations of a local fairy goddess who became his live-in mind slave. He glommed onto me too, because he and I were reading some of the same books and he recognized in me an even more withered ego than his own. And withered egos suck up attention like cactus sucks up water.
Fortunately I wasn't around when Andy and his fairy princess flew apart like the opposites they were. My role in all this is to be embarrassed the rest of my life for some of the things I said and did while I was allowing Andy to try and perfect me.
But that's not what I came here to talk about today. I am here to tell you about a well-known tendency of reality in general which is called the "Second Law of Thermodynamics."
The 2nd Law states one thing in many ways, among them this: while it is perfectly normal for energy to build up in a local zone and appear to increase itself--like a storm, or a self-made man, for example--it is hideously unlikely for energy to continue to build up in the same place indefinitely. This is, for example, why capitalism ruins everything it touches: it is so false in its basic assumptions that it qualifies as the most perfect scam and cult ever perpetrated on us semi-trainable monkeys, who participate in it or else. The obscene collateral cost of capitalism is the "or else" which is kicked aside and swept under the rug. Capitalism is the chronic belief that energy can be created and then reused to create more energy. It is the opposite of sensible, that's why it's so easy to push it as the ultimate in sensibleness. Because people love a fantasy trip more than anything.
For a person to turn into a different person, he must accumulate, and store, and use effectively, an ungodly amount of stress. Stress = tension = pressure. It is potential energy. Potential energy doesn't do anything until it's unleashed, at which time it becomes kinetic energy, the energy of action. In the meantime, it eats our stomach lining, it bends our back, it twists our thoughts and pumps up our emotional state, and occasionally it deludes us into thinking we are some really hot stuff.
And then we die.
Far be it from me to take success away from the successful. And I wouldn't dare suggest that experimentors fail to experiment in their fling with life on earth. What I recommend, however--especially if you're old enough to know better, and based on my own personal experience--is that if success is not your gig, don't sweat it. I'm serious. Since I stopped trying to fix myself and decided I was OK the way I am, everything has changed. My life is no longer polluted with self-doubt and remorse at all times. Sure I have my lapses into tunnel vision, like writing this book, but all in all, since I decided to give up trying to break the 2nd law of thermodynamics by accumulating all the energy of the universe in my pocket, I have also for some reason become capable of making it through the day without any particular emphasis on "how I feel". It no longer matters how I feel, so I am much more likely to get something done.
To me, that is worth even more than the money I save by not buying self-help books anymore.
Part Two: November 27, 2017
Today is my son's eleventh birthday. He's not perfect. He has some bad teeth, not his fault; his mama thinks food and junk food are the same thing. Not her fault, she doesn't know any better and apparently I can't teach her any different. Not my fault. But anyway, other than having some problems with his teeth, my son's perfect, because I am his father and I say so. No other logic is needed.
The first part of this chapter is not perfect, but I won't change it because it's from a book called Meetings of Possible Ways which I wrote before I allowed myself to begin my unworlding practice two years ago. Reverse psychology is a powerful tool for building superhighways around the automatic resistance which comes up when we attack goals and problems head-on. I wouldn't let myself try to get unworlded, even a little bit unworlded, until I finished my book. This built up a lot of enthusiasm, which was needed in order to get a good head start on my obstinately diddlesome, frittery, dabblish nature.
You can see that I was still concerned about capitalism when I wrote the preceding pages. I still agree with the things I said about it, for the most part, but my attitude has changed as to whether or not I need to be concerned or involved or the opposite of apathetic. Changes of attitude were expected, since Meetings of Possible Ways was to be an exposition of my baseline belief system before beginning my unworlding practice, a practice I'd put off till I managed to retire from other things. 'Baseline' referring to what already exists before things start to change.
Since I wrote the first part of this chapter, I've learned that the human form is only perceived to be a multi-cultural patchwork of nations on a planet in a universe of stars and galaxies; it's really a state-of-being generated by a state of mind. For example, the vacuum nearly empty of stars--the one we call 'outer space'--is a physical manifestation of the Nowhere which stands between any two states of mind. The patterns of the stars' relative positioning from our point of view represent our Spforildewitt--the human form--and our individual configurations or Troovammickles. The world I project onto an otherwise blank screen originates with me, from my new and growing sense of what reality springs from and how it gets to be what it is.
While I already suspected that these things were true, until I came to terms with detaching myself from tracking and evaluating the details of the physical world, it was hard to take transcendant worldviews literally. This step came about partially due to reading Frank Kepple's 1100-page compilation and having it drummed into me that our world is just a local offshoot of a greater reality system. This put me in mind of what I'd learned from a video series which sent me in this 'spiritual' direction to begin with after many years away from it: The Holographic Universe. What I learned and/or extrapolated from this series as well as from multiple readings of Castaneda's books was that we project the universe from us. Other people are not real except in their world. Two people are both real transiently in the same world if they interact, causing their worlds to intersect. Otherwise they are ghosts or dream characters passing each other in the hall. The earth or human consciousness projects a universe of stars and planets and galaxies and a few UFOs, while you project a customized version of that universe with you as its center, and I do the same thing with me as the center of my own universe. Additionally, there are infinite versions of each of these custom universes, since pure awareness, which lights up the first person perspective in various individuals according to laws that are not bound by time or physicality, is the same thing as infinity.
So the fact that I barely had time to eat between rabidly posting on Facebook and looking for new things to be worried/pissed/hopeful about because someone as amazing as Bernie--what was his last name?--was running for president of the USA with an apparently real intention of doing good things for everybody... and the fact that a cynical attorney like H. Clinton could beat him by playing the system... kinda led to the first half of the double doors out of politics forever for me. When Trump was elected, I was cynically happy because I despised H. Clinton so thoroughly and blamed the pseudo-liberals for not supporting Bernie, but as the days went by, I realized this cynical happiness was a kind of shock caused by mental rigidity. Seeing someone like Trump become the 'leader of the free world' put me into shock and I think my internal dialog stopped for three days while Humpty Dumpty tried to put himself back together again.
The result was possibly the dogma I now call the Earthville Mental Institution theory, probably one of the less cynical side effects of Trump's election. But best of all, I spent two whole weeks of my life deleting every political post I'd ever put on Facebook, and since the election I have not looked at one headline. Well maybe one. I have not looked at a dozen, though. Well... less than twenty. Twenty-five.
I'm feeling less and less apologetic about the fact that I want off this rock.
I have no interest in cynicism, it's just a stupid pet trick. Any self-righteous creep can sneer at his inferiors. As taught by the creator of The Holographic Universe videos, I try never to judge anyone. But I also feel strongly that trying to fix human beings is an impractical use of one's energy. Maybe even an avoidance of one's true calling, which might involve--errr...--not fixing, oneself, but perhaps freeing onself from a place that is obviously reserved for a growing gang of hooligans who can't seem to play well with others. I speak of myself, my wife, my child, my enemy, my friend, my parents, my siblings, my frigging president, and everyone else on earth. We all have the same problems. That's why we're here.
Someone who can lie down and relax and get unworlded without somehow first happening to find himself in a certain Magical Mindset is a rare thing... a schizophrenic for example. Someone who can't stop getting unworlded. Don't get me wrong. I don't accept the standard line about schizophrenia either. People who actively hallucinate, in our culture, are hidden in the shed out back, literally or figuratively, and in our times they're drugged into a condition which makes it impossible for them to learn how to use their gift. In another time and place, such a person might be taken under the wing of the local shaman and trained to use unworlding as a tool, but the way we treat them in our modern slave society, they'd be better off dead.
No, when I say we're all bozos on this bus, I mean every Tom, Dick and Harry of us. Think of the most successful person you ever met, the one person who you truly admire above all the rest. You probably don't know this person very well, and if you do, then congratulations to both of you. It's possible that your mentor is a mentor for many. We certainly need some leaders. But in general, most people don't actually know anyone who isn't nuts on some level, in some sector of their secret self or their private life. I can tell some horror stories of people I admired so much that I became the teacher's pet, so to speak. But consequently brought into their inner circle, I was then mortified to discover that the image I'd fallen in love with was just an image. The teacher was nutbags like everybody else. I have some real horror stories. But that's another chapter.
There's literally nothing of ultimate relevance to do on this planet, unless you happen to be the incarnation of pure awareness like Jesus and Ramakrishna and Buddha and others were supposed to be, except to solve your own problems. Unfortunately, problems don't like to be solved. We get trapped in repeating patterns. Fortunately we're in a place--the Earthville Mental Institution--where reflectivity is low, compared to the Unworld at large. In the Unworld, if you think 'monster,' a real monster appears and you really have to fight it, escape it, or change your mind, whichever you're prepared to do. This scenario has its advantages: if the monster eats your head, you can grow a new head. But here in a consensus reality created by billions of partially intersecting individual realities, manifestation from thought to reality is as slow as molasses. You think 'monster' and it's just a movie monster or a flying cockroach or the new neighbors from hell or a politician or a psychotic assistant manager or something. We have time and space turned way up here, so that we can literally walk around our problems and hangups and leisurely inspect the ways of our ways. Here on earth, for good or for bad, things don't just go away. And worse: attacking a problem head-on doesn't always work. It can generate a resistance field which causes the solution to jump the fence like two magnets pushed pole-to-pole. So we spend our lives trying to get to the other side of the fence where the grass is greener. We get there and the solution has already jumped the next fence.
Eventually you figure out that there's no problem and no solution. Not forgetting this then becomes the new challenge, with illusionary-but-real problems getting in your face all the time to test your memory. When I moved to a rural village in the Philippines I found, for example, that my lifelong irrepressible inner enemy--being annoyed with the neighbors' noise--became a central enforced learning and I don't mean maybe. I could tell scary stories, lots of them. The moral of the story will have to do: whatever energy it takes to sublimate distraction, that same energy is an investment into your next sublime experience of transcendence. I can point out multiple instances of this in my dream journal.
It's really important to stop fixing the world, stop fixing and controling other people, and I do mean stop, just stop. That's one way you can stop the world as Castaneda put it. I'm not always happy to be reminded that I'm living in a nuthouse, but then always being happy is no longer the point, and since I stopped moodwatching myself, the truly horrible moods seem to come less often and dissipate sooner. It was better than a double lobotomy to realize that 'I don't care' and 'It's not my problem' can sometimes be acceptable adaptations to living in a maelstrom of madness. I don't mean you should abandon your family during its personal version of World War 3, although some people really should abandon some members of their family, for pragmatic reasons. But don't be anyone's prisoner of 'love'. Most of what we call 'love' is some really creepy shit based on emotions which are thinly veiled fear.
As regards an unworlding practice, what you really have to watch out for is an obsessive emphasis on results. While it's true that finding yourself in the Magical Mindset guarantees a relatively lucid unworlding experience, the conscious mind is not capable of causing you to be found in that condition. This topic is covered in more detail in other chapters. Just fall in love with the path and develop patience in regards to the results. Especially if you're not a natural at unworlding, obsession will stand in the way. The advantage of remaining a beginner for a long time is that by the time you're good at unworlding, you'll know how you managed to learn how to do it.
What set me off today was a new term for my glossary of unworlding nomenclature: Intopia. I dreamed of seeing a deep blue Facebook meme on a group about Real Magick, and the point of the meme was 'Intopia'. When I woke up I realized that my 7ness dream body Mouse had given me a better word for the Magical Mindset. So from now on, I'll see if I can work 'Intopia' into the sentences where I would previously have used 'Magical Mindset'.
The Magical Mindset--I mean Intopia--is a place inside you where the adjustments have already been made, as they would be if you were your future self, your higher self. Like all places in unworlding, Intopia is a state of mind, a condition of being, while placeness in general is both metaphorical and real. I can say that because all places are metaphorical for states of mind, with the so-called planet we live on just a very rocky example of that principle.