2017-03-27 9:00 am
"I've been Hacking up My Friends"--a 12-hour Trek to the Urumara
[Yesterday I had quite a horrible day as I had to interrupt all my plans including budgetary ones to go to town with wife and child to humor my wife's overreaction to T.'s common cold, which he got from me. I'm over mine, but he's having minor fever and I spent the day arguing with wife, nurses, doctors and sick kid, in regards to whether the common cold is a national emergency that should alter the course of anyone's life other than to cue the need to eat one's vegetables and not stuff junk food into one's face every time one feels hungry. The last straw was when I did my breathwalking; of course I'm still hacking up phlegmballs when I try to do the Buzz Breath, so could not reach the desired depths of breathing because of constantly coughing stuff up. Due to my own bad hi-carb diet--5 to 6 meals per day of heavy whole grains, i.e. indigestible expanding wood, a diet which I changed radically three or four days ago.]
[At bedtime around 8:30 p.m. I detected in myself a possibly usable kernel of "I will be able to gralthify a decent WILD session out of this bad mood, and it kinda worked that way in a sense, but it took 12 hours lying in bed, mostly deep asleep as I was exhausted. I did continue to chain back to that original resolve however, and it did work. During the night, I felt a kind of confidence building that I did not have to fake. Upon awakening to pee, I would keep my eyes closed a lot and move real slow and get my little drink of water, which is all the way across the house (gotta change that), and get back in bed placidly, refusing to write any dreams, because in my opinion I have to take advantage of what I learned while transcribing an unprecedentedly frequent series of lucid dreams that stopped cold a month ago. By so doing, I learned that DEILD is MY technique. Chaining dreams. Waking in REM and staying in it, then going straight back into another dream. I have to go through and analyze that spurt of lucids more carefully, but DEILD will prove to be the common thread, I'm sure.]
[And I'm sure that my recently radically altered eating style has flipped a new switch in the development of my air body, because this morning after a 1- to 2-hour-long induction in which I sublimated anger, depression, and numerous intense potentials for distraction, I went into the Urumara with full awareness for the first time. By this I mean I experienced with full awareness the knowledge that I was about to Unworld, and the accompanying fear that I would be leaving behind my body's ability to breathe air. Thus faced this fear consciously instead of the usual routine of waking up gasping or swallowing in a panic.]
[I had one dream I remember and it was maybe 6 a.m. but that's a very wild guess as I had the attitude that nothing including my journaling practice was going to distract my resolve to maintain continuous awareness of the way to the Unworld. In other words I had only one goal, and that was DEILD. Normally I dilute my resolve by having competing goals, and journaling in the middle of a REM Vibe is a mistake, I should be DEILDing at that time, not turning on lights and stuff. Although some dreams just beg to be written down as soon as possible.]
[Right now I'm drinking a big cup of fresh turmeric tea after chewing on some star anise. I don't eat breakfast from the carbohydrate swill trough anymore and yesterday I did an 18 hour fast. I'm working my way out of a deluded belief in eating 5-6 small meals per day that was pushing me into diabetes, as clued by my inability to breathe hard without nearly passing out, unless I had stuffed myself with "food" within a half hour or so before going out breathwalking on the dirt road in front of my house.]
[The dream I had this morning. After much activity which I forgot, ]
I end up going DOWN INTO A BASEMENT [into the Tunnel] where I see that a stocky young man with a very full head of brown hair, longish but not to his shoulders, is working in a golden glow that sort of seems to emanate from himself, repairing a big ten-inch-diameter super-coarse grinding wheel. I'm glad this is getting done and I figure I'll be the one who has to pay for his work, but who cares? I am transported [so quickly I don't remember the trip through the Urumara] to the front yard. Which is neatly mowed, so I go next door to the 18" tall grass of the next door neighbors' front lawn and enjoy the feeling of "who cares" even more. I do some flying and levitating tricks powered by the devil-may-care attitude [and can't remember any details about this.]
Then I'm going back into the basement where the subtly- but oddly-glowing young man has succeeded in wiring the maximally coarse grinding wheel together with great crudeness and is now using it to grind some rivet heads in his face. I go up to investigate and he moves the tool SO I CAN GET A CLOSE LOOK at his shiny, golden-glowing skin. Two openings in his face [my two missing teeth, the sudden loss of which has taught me so much about Chaining a Magical Mindset], each an inch long, have been neatly riveted shut with tiny flesh-colored rivets and he's been using the edge of the impossible grinder to smooth the rivet heads. In spite of the IMPOSSIBILITY of the task, the ultra-calm man [Whirly, my body of air] has done an impeccable job, and a face that should look gross and gashed looks quite acceptable with the tiny rows of rivet heads being smooth and almost invisible. I ask him where he "gets all the human skin" [for his needed grafts] and he replies jokingly, "I've been hacking up my friends."
[I wake up and pee, refuse to waste the opportunity to Chain dreams by not writing the dream down or going over the details much, and instead I immediately lie down with mask on.]
[For the next three hours I ignored a steady stream of what could have been intensely problematic distractions as I hovered close to sleep, and each time I was woken up, I refused to be taken out of the state of resolve I was in. This constituted sublimation of the potential mood explosions and as a result, the confidence in my ability to unworld just quietly grew.]
[My wife let the dogs in and that usually ends my sleep since I have to get up to feed them or they will destroy the mosquito net that stands between them and me. I moved my leg too fast, trying to keep the most enthusiastic of the two animals off the bed, and got a cramp in my calf. While I waited for this to go away, I kept my eyes closed and reaffirmed my resolve to still get unworlded anyway. As soon as I could walk without restarting the cramp, I fed the dogs smoothly and went back to bed. Then my wife was outside in the garden with a one-year-old girl she loves to tease, and my wife's a noisy person. I resolved to not be distracted by any emotional reaction and went back to sleep, with my wife's voice acting as a ramp timer, keeping me from getting too deep. Then T. woke up (we all sleep in the same bed) and started going "Pssst!" through the window by the bed, also teasing the baby downstairs in the garden. Finally he went outside, unaware that he had disturbed my sleep. Since my feathers were obstinately unruffled, I went right back to sleep.]
[It helps that I've learned the REM breath. I kept reminding myself that the three key ingredients of a direct unworlding are Metsuke, Blaffinveigle, and Vac-U-Move. At some point I knew it was 7:15 a.m.--time to meditate--and put myself to sleep meditating in bed. And finally it happened.]
I'm wandering around [in the Tunnel a.k.a. non-REM dreams] having random experiences which I forget as soon as I have them, then I'm in the same yard as the previous dream when I get this sense of familiarity, that sense of having just done something and now doing it over with a variation, and as I round the corner of the house [go through the Urumara], I NOTICE to my right a smallish two-tone BROWN dog [this is Smudgely the Fogjogger--as was the machinist from earlier with all his fogjoggings] and I THINK, that's ODD, I recall "my" dog lying on that piece of cardboard right there, but this is not my dog. Oh well, let him be... and I am lucid! [Energy for lucidity derived from the devil-may-care refusal to give-a-shit about what is not my problem, i.e. the detachment half of Metsuke.]
[This is Lucidity Lite, I am quite aware of lying in my bed, but I remain motionless and a strange feeling like a yawn starts in my face where yawns start, then connects to something in my lower back, and very quickly builds to a delicious and unmistakable full-on case of the Vibes as it travels in a wave up my spine and out the top of my head. [This is not the warm/fuzzy Vibes I wake up in after a REM dream, this is the real thing, and the first time ever I have gotten the Vibes consciously from a state where I thought I was lying in my bed. I woke up in the Vibes once, but this was more precious because] I basically entered the Urumara consciously as I've been hoping to do. These Vibes are totally unmistakable.]
[I remember to tell myself to remain calm, but I forget that I'm probably in sleep paralysis and make the mistake of not knowing what to do next. For example I should have waited passively for another wave of Vibes just like the first, or I could have imagined a vortex and let it suck me out through the feet, but instead I waffled about what I should do. Maybe I could have "yawned" again? Instead I got in a hurry, losing the confidence due to feeling truly afraid of leaving behind my body's ability to breathe if I were to "leave my body," and telling myself to not worry about it, I took a small breath to prove I could, which might have ended the state.]
[I tried to "just get up" but when I did, it felt like I was getting up physically, so I aborted that after the initial feeling of motion. I should have got all the way up, as it could have been a real unworlding and if not, well, by then it wasn't going to happen anyway. I should have lay still and tried to see through my closed mask, which is a reality check that can be done without moving, in order to gauge the progress of the unworlding. I should have imagined a dream scene or waited for one to form or started Noticing or forced myself back to sleep with SSILD. But after a twelve-hour induction, of course I was so excited and happy and fulfilled that I just got up to write everything down after doing the wrong kind of reality check--the kind where you have to move body parts--and it took an hour-and-a-half to write it all down. Added note: See August 2017 for a second episode of the Floating Yawn. --ed.]
[It's 10:45 a.m. and I will whack weeds in the garden till lunchtime, which will constitute an 18-hour fast. I wanted to mention in closing that the dream character's joke, "I've been hacking up my friends," was a multi-layered dream pun. It refers to the fact that when I try to do the Buzz Breath and am disturbed by phlegmballs due to my recent cold, this is a good thing. Somehow, as I am wont to say near the end of a dry spell, it's "cobbling my practice back together" to keep breathing anyway, over and over, in spite of the resistance. It also refers to the fact that Whirly--my body of air--is cobbled together with the best parts of seven dream bodies.]
[To bed. CHAINING is my technique. Always wake in REM, always remain still, always reformulate a new dream, always do the plan of action when lucid. The plan of action is: go down on knees and look in a mirror and kiss the girl in the mirror if it's Cwahacoy. This is lucidity night.]
2017-03-28 8:30 am
[Now recording last night's dream. Due to the new devotion exclusively to Chaining, I will be doing it this way maybe for a long time. I'll put the dreams in approximate order when possible, but no times will generally be known, what's important is dream recall and Chaining, not the most anal dream journal since the dawn of time.]
With Dave "d'Boy," walking with him to a neighborhood where he needs to go, but he's hostile and afraid because of the "Mexicans" that live there [the Dream Usher]. I tell him that there could be no harm in just being friendly. We're walking in a VERY FAMILIAR park divided by a WINDBREAK and water break of trees and creek [the Urumara.]
Visiting Kris as per old days hanging out for the joint which he finally announces that he will produce, and as soon as he does, the room is full of people who are closer to him than I, his MUSICIAN friends, including one who threatens to grab the joint when it's my turn, but he ends up giving it to me.
Charmello [my dog who is dead or nearly dead] shows up and comes into the house, looking even nearer death than he is in real life, his back arched, and he moves around by hopping like a deer. Kris has several dogs and one is bitten by Charmello. Out of politeness, Kris tries to pooh-pooh the incident, saying it's just a little scratch, but I'm holding the little YELLOW AND PURPLE dog to show him it's a BIG DEAL [the Vibes according to Frank Kepple are an interaction between the yellow and purple chakras]. I show him that there is a real puncture wound on the little dog's upper chest because blood is pooling up there fast. [Didn't know yet that Charmello had died during the night, though it was pretty obvious he was going to.]
I'm setting out on a long walk without warm enough clothes and telling myself I'm setting myself up for a lot of misery by being unprepared for where I'm going [the Tunnel].
Myself and a companion [SC] are offered a ride [the Tunnel] by someone I should know, so as we get into his [invisible] truck, I ask "Is your name SCOTT?" [which is actually my name] and he says, "No, my name is Gary." [He is the same person I dreamed about last night, the same thick brown hair and wearing a WHITE T-shirt: Whirly.]
[The night's chaining program was successful in that I maintained a placid state of mind in spite of numerous gettings up to pee, an emergency poop (first time in three days), letting the dogs in and feeding them, moving to the dream bed, having T. talk to me from the main bed when he woke up, etc. All was welcomed as an opportunity to sublimate and the result is a new terminology "The Nevermind" which will get a new chapter. I used SSILD technology combined with WILD immobility to experience many mini-unworldings of the non-lucid variety (Awakenings) for example:]
[AWK] Some people [my dream bodies] grow tired of trying to get the attention of somebody who's locked in his room [me stuck in the Tunnel, pre-Urumara] to get him to accept some sort of gift, so they move en masse to the other end of the house to try again [unmerged from me, i.e. woke me up. Will write a chapter now about the unmindset "Nevermind".]
[To bed. Will practice WILD at bedtime and will chain dreams all night using Nevermind to enforce Blaffinveigle upon each awakening.]
2017-03-29 3:15 pm
[Woke up feeling guilty for not having written my dreams down, there were several, and yet I purposely didn't write them down because I want to do Chaining instead of jumping out of bed and clinging to every little dream experience. Take Jurgen Ziewe for example, he does no techniques except meditation, and he unworlds all the time. He writes down only lucid unworldings, nothing else. So I am trying to develop a Magical Mindset vs. an obsessive, greedy, grabby mindset, giving preference to "I will unworld when I should" vs. "I must unworld now."]
[Nevertheless I felt grouchy and guilty and wanted to stay in bed 12 hours again, but didn't think it was either possible or a good idea. The side effect of oversleep is lethargy 24/7. So I stayed in bed through my 7:00 a.m. meditation and did the meditation in bed, and while doing this I soared into the Magical Mindset, same as I had yesterday, and went to town in a great mood, although moodless would be a better way to put it. ADA is effortless and fun in this mindful/mindless mindset. Maintaining this as much as possible while carrying out some normal activities like typing old dream journals and watching utubes. Still very much after the methodless method of unworlding and hopefully this new direction doesn't stifle everything. I did remember several dreams, but I did not write any of it down. I was really disappointed and in my depression, I convinced myself that I had not Chained dreams nor tried very hard to do so.]
[Actually I have nothing to complain about since I AM Chaining dreams, just not lucidly. There is a strong sense of being sort of continuously active and CHAINING is a good description for this in spite of no lucidity.]
[CHAINING IS LUCIDITY. I will wake up during every non-lucid dream and/or every REM/sleep cycle and Chain into another dream, a lucid one. My Intent Agenda is to get on my knees and find a mirror on the floor. Kiss the girl in the mirror, if any [Cwahacoy], and crawl out of the room to the Urumara.]
2017-03-30 9:15 am
[Well I must be doing something write [sic!] because after about 10.5 hours of sleep I had a pair of chained lucid unworldings, YIPPEE! I am wearing my lucidity hat as I type this. Again I did not write in my dream journal, but for a change, the dreams I had were interesting and worth remembering. So I must be recovering from the choline self-sabotage and getting back to caring enough to take an interest in dreaming while I'm doing it.]
[The following non-lucid dreams took place last night, at unknown times, in unknown order. They obviously are chaining common themes from dream to dream, but it's hours later and I'm just doing the best I can to get them into a logical order. I do recall waking up NOT needing to pee and Chaining right back to sleep, over and over, and THAT is the key to getting lucid. I have been practicing not peeing constantly all day, which helps enormously, since building resolve in the middle of the night--after using the pee bucket to superfluously punctuate my daytime activities--is impossible.]
I'm in a sunny place like a small public library but [like the dream bed where I sleep or will be sleeping when I move there] the window next to me [the Nowhere] is not covered by any kind of glass, it's just a BIG LONG OPENING [the Urumara]. Two hairy CARPENTERS [Nitpicker and Potwatcher... watch out! They always show up when it's lucid time! And this is the same dude, same thick head of longish hair, that I dreamed about twice recently] are right outside the window trying to do something difficult. One of them grabs a wall out beyond themselves and the house, leans on it, and the whole wall starts leaning away from the house. I get a lurch in the pit of my stomach [the Vertigo].
A kitten appears on the sill of the window and I pick it up, but I become concerned that it might have lice since the kitten is all over me and it's skinny and unhealthy-looking. Then there are two more of them, and feeling overwhelmed [I wake up, check that I don't need to pee, and SSILD back to sleep quickly].
Damn kitten has glommed onto my ankle.
[Another awakening? No way to keep track without waking up completely to write everything down, and that is no longer what I do... I assume that some or all of the sudden scene changes below came with short awakenings and I Chained back in. And maybe because of my new high fat, low carb diet [taken on due to hypoglycemia], I have no interest in getting up to pee.]
Wow, look at that kitten in the other room on the floor. What is that, it has no hair? Oh, I see, it's strapped into a shiny plastic kitty jacket, looks like a roller skate with hairy feet instead of wheels and a head instead of an ankle poking out the top, sort of pinkish-silvery-gold with sparkling glittery flecks of light all over it... [the Nowhere].
Breeze and I are out in the carport [the Tunnel] and it is literally raining CATS and dogs, I mean one solid sheet of water is literally pouring out of the sky, and the carport is so full of water that it's like 7 feet deep and we're body surfing on it, back and forth along the length of the carport, YIPPEE this is fun!
Breeze REMEMBERS the CARPENTER UPSTAIRS in the dark bedroom and runs upstairs and through his bedroom door [the Urumara] to talk with him. I follow.
Of course Breeze is a gardener and of course I'm hosing my garden down, spraying it down good. But my big garden is REDUCED IN SIZE to a ten-foot square built up from the ground with terraces and trellises [which I fail to notice].
And I'm walking along the bumpy, RAIN-ERODED dirt road [out front of the house where I do my nightly breathwalking--the Tunnel] and here comes Jayruse driving my old BLUE Toyota [which my parents bought for themselves on my 18th birthday, and which was collided with that night at midnight by a girl running to get out of the POURING RAIN] full of kids. I think the idea of Jayruse driving anything is kinda WEIRD [he's too timid to drive well] and when I look again, the car is now only 30 inches long and a foot high. Oops, now it's so small it's stuck in a muddy pothole in the road. Hey, what're you doing down in that hole???
And I'm standing next to the road on the left of it, in a muddy square hole about 30 inches wide and waist deep, naked from the waist down, PEEING backward between my own legs. I WONDER if anyone can see me and looking around a bit, I see that the ROAD is blocking the bottom half of me from view so all is well. Yeah, but, what if I'm peeing in bed [almost lucid! I wake up to check. No, I don't even feel like I want to pee; back to sleep.]
Now this is quite interesting. That square hole next to the road where I was standing before and peeing is now a floodgate, and a wee channel of water where between-my-legs was a minute ago [my spine?] is now a little ditch of water channeled from a huge dam upstream somewhere [the Urumara and the Tunnel] that has somehow flooded out our whole area magnificently, flowing both to the LEFT where our little stream usually flows, as well as flowing over our makeshift dam of stacked rocks which goes across our wide, grassy gully bottom, and a huge flow of water is going straight over the dam to the RIGHT. And look at my poor LITTLE GARDEN to the left of the dam, I wonder if MUGWORT grows well under water? Probably does. It would be INTERESTING TO FIND OUT.
[By now I had moved to my dream bed and was wearing my mask. Probably did this when I went downstairs PLACIDLY, let the dogs in placidly, took them upstairs to the terrace and fed them placidly, and forced myself back to sleep. No dreams or times were recorded during the night. I no longer think looking at a clock during the night is more important than Chaining. I no longer think anything is more important than Chaining.]
[Instead of getting out of bed after 10.5 hours of sleep at my prescribed meditation time, I forced myself to sleep one more time with SSILD in hopes of having a lucid unworlding, and it worked. My last thought as I went to sleep was unfortunately, "Maybe I should have just gotten up to do something physical." This led to my FIRST LUCID FALSE AWAKENING!]
So I'm wide awake, I might as well get up and start my day, maybe I'll have a lucid dream tomorrow night instead.
I get out of bed in my ATTIC LOFT BEDROOM and I'm walking along a narrow strip of floor that exists between my bed, which is a big piece of foam on the floor to my LEFT, and a big square hole in the floor ahead of me and to my RIGHT. There are no stairs visible in the hole, just white light, which I barely notice. I'm not afraid of falling in the hole, which I would be if I was awake.
Hey, I WONDER IF I'M DREAMING? It certainly doesn't seem like I am, but I might as well check, it can't hurt. But certainly I am not dreaming.
I reflexively lift both feet into the air as if it's the most natural thing in the world. Well that feels perfectly normal, what's so unusual about that? And yet... it seems like I'm staying up in the air a little too long, doesn't it? Hey, wait a minute... WAIT A MINUTE! I'm still hovering in the air...
I'm DREAMING! I'm DREAMING! Now calm down...
I AM dreaming, I AM dreaming! Now remember your plan of action...
I sink slowly to the ground and land on my hands and knees on the foam, which now covers also the area where I'd been walking. The foam is covered by an old fuzzy TWO-TONE BROWN AND BEIGE blanket with an Indian pattern, which I used for years, many years ago. As per my plan, I kiss the ground, which is my nice clean blanket [instead of the BEIGE carpet I'd planned, and wake up/become aware of having kissed my foam mattress in my real bed, because the smacking sound I made with my real lips is what woke me up. Fortunately I kept my eyes closed, my mind empty, remained motionless, and Chained straight back into the same exact position in the same exact dream, but unfortunately] I kissed the blanket again [and this time the smacking woke me up for good. I felt I was too excited to force myself back to sleep, so got up and started my day.]
[I have now fulfilled a long-held Intent Agenda, to get on my knees upon attaining lucidity and kiss the floor, though I didn't get a chance to continue with the rest of my plan, which was to crawl out of the room to the Urumara, because the kiss was emulated by the physical mouth and the sound of it woke me up, twice. So I need a new way of stabilizing contact with the Unworld. The kiss was supposed to 1) merge me with my sixness dream body or gratitude/appreciation/Cwahacoy, and 2) catalyze the unworlded state. But I have to change this to an activity that is not likely to be repeated by the physical. Kissing myself awake due to the smacking sound made with my supposedly paralyzed lips? So much for sleep paralysis, or maybe I was not in REM at all, who knows, in which case I had a lucid non-REM dream. Sleep paralysis supposedly only happens in REM but we dream in the Tunnel too, not just beyond the Urumara. As for appreciation, I had plenty of that already because it was exciting to become lucid, and fortunately I did remember to tone it down a few notches. So I'll come up with a completely new Intent Agenda today, probably still grounding myself by getting on the floor, since that part worked well. It's good that I remembered not to fly after the initial hovering, but my next act should have been to jump through the big white hole, which was the Urumara and might have catalyzed the dream just fine and got me away from my bedroom into the remote mind, with the Uppers in charge, with access to the Unworld proper.]
[This bedroom is my Dream Loft. It's the spiffed-up attic of a big house, not much like the one I live in which has a full-height series of wall-less rooms and a normal, flat ceiling. When I say "attic loft," I mean the ceiling is the bottom of the roof, sloped. My first classic lucid-dream-type unworlding during this phase of my practice ended up with me flying up to this same loft bedroom from outside and entering it through the window. That house was in dream-Kansas, a nice three-bedroom old wood house. I had seen two women who I wanted to meet, but out of the blue I literally decided to have an unworlding experience instead, instantly became lucid, and the flight to the upper room was powered by laughter. So it's good to be Chaining dream environments, with the earlier instance of the Dream Loft going back to that date which was August 19 of last year. That is a message that it is, in fact--as shown by the laughter-powered flight up to the Dream Loft--a certain mood, the Magical Mindset, that allows lucidity to happen, when all the techniques in the world can't force it to happen. Also I should mention that in real life I always wanted a loft room, I thought having a sloping ceiling would be the neatest thing in the world, and just fantasizing about having a room like that as a kid used to put me in a special kind of mood. In spite of having had a nightmarishly unforgettable waking(?) experience in just such a room when I was five years old.]