This chapter is different from the earlier milestone chapters because I had started moving into another level in my practice, where instead of gradually building up to a single Officially Lucid unworlding at the end of a long dry spell, I stayed close to Official Lucidity most of the time and then would crash for a few days but then go straight back to the borderline of Unworld access, having incredible experiences over and over. So instead of deleting all but the end of the dream journal chapter 31 to make this milestone chapter 31, I was able to delete only a little of what took place, as I was constantly building up to something. Resulting in at least a few possible experiences of kundalini rising, some consciously aware trips through the Urumara, more than one or two Officially Lucid unworldings, lots of Big Dreams, and more. (This milestones chapter is 82% the length of the whole dream journal chapter covering the same period of time, and some of the stuff I deleted to get it this short was pretty good.)
2017-12-29 3:10-4:03 pm
[Lying down in main bed for Awakenings. T. is asleep in my dream bed. I haven't slept in the family bed for months.]
[AWK1] A delivery person comes in with a long box for T. printed 'Ulti-Mate' on box, obviously a GUITAR. I say "Guess what." and wake up. I forget to Just Get Up.
[Reading Raduga, I see my mistake on my two recent partial exits was to passively wait for someone to finish pulling me out. I should have gotten involved immediately, aggressively getting out by my own conscious efforts; the helping pull at first is just the training wheels provided by the Dream Usher.]
[Last night when I scanned the ground during my Officially Lucid episode instead of obsessing on the blockade covering the Urumara, this was good, but I could have touched anything else, I could have tried to teleport to the Library, I could have dove into the floor. I could have rubbed my hands or gone through the door without delay.]
[When I woke up in the Nowhere I could have leaped into the air as in Just Get Up instead of assuming the unworlding was over. I could have dove through the bed if I thought a bed was stopping me from continuing the experience.]
[This is something I'm going to learn once, like riding a bicycle. I'm learning it at a slow speed, but possibly the speed is picking up because I'm done with the stress of xmas and changing computers over. I am calling on my Soul Retinue to get with the program and start taking this seriously because the website is up and good enough for now. I own unworlding.com now and it has its own hosting account. A lot of pressure is off, and I'm ready to focus on the practice. I'm bored with the notion of being a somebody in anybody's new age network and ready to focus on my own needs and interests instead of posting on Facebook to the exclusion of having a practice. I'm ready to move forward, and not having to post the play-by-play on some group. I'm ready to start meditating again. Today I got back to the daily exercise program. I have adequate confirmation from a number of experienced practitioners that breathing is the only technique needed. I've been pulled out of my bed, part of the way, by a seeming outside force, at least twice.]
[I am ready to move forward.]
[I have conquered flying, crawling and walking. It's time to teleport straight to the Library for that long-awaited meeting with all my dream bodies at the same time. My goal now is to experience merging with all of them at the same time. I want to experience being Whirly. I choose to do it at the Library because it's been on my Intent Agenda so long. I have recently come very close to my goal of walking to the Library. I continue with that goal, but now I plan to teleport to the Library through the Urumara.]
[When I feel the dream ending, I have to Just Get Up. I can teleport by diving into the ground, through a wall or window. I can rub my hands or touch anything to re-establish lucidity. I don't have to wake up in the Dayly Dreame, I can wake up in the Nowhere, listen for the Sounds, see images, construct a scene or teleport to one.]
[In a dream I will lie down and pretend to sleep, then jump up and go through the Urumara into the Library where I will meet the Boss, the Inventor, the Nitpicker/Potwatcher twins, the Dream Usher, Mouse, Cwahacoy, and Limberluck. We will merge into one and all experience being Whirly at the same time.]
[That is my plan.]
2017-12-30 5:45 am
In a long encounter with Cwahacoy that is largely forgotten. She's in the company of Mouse who could be mistaken for Cwahacoy's mother with basically a dampening/killjoy/chaperoning influence.
Cwahacoy looks similar to the one live-in babysitter of T.'s as a baby who I didn't like at all, but she was pleasant to behold visually. Slightly square/angular and attractive in a down-home way, long straight dark brown hair. At first I have to deal mentally with her horrible complexion [in the dream], red semi-healed acne sores all over. I DECIDE THIS DOESN'T MATTER and then all I can see is the beautiful shape of her face. Then her face develops bubbles in the outer layer of skin which are quite ugly, but I CHOOSE TO OVERLOOK THIS also. Finally I go through the Urumara and on the way through, I look back over my shoulder and she's a FAIRY GODDESS with beautiful TURQUOISE skin, flawless and with fine lines drawing patterns on her cheeks, one on each cheek, something like an upright central spear or scepter with decorations twining around it. We are now hugging tight and having gone through the Urumara, I am Limberluck. Our chests are pressed together and she says, "You're touching my tits," which I am well aware of, and I say, "Good!" But Mouse says I have to sign a paper first (before going any further with the intimacy).
In the next scene or a parallel scene, the Dream Usher as a dumb-looking tall guy with long dark hair and a goatee driving an old BEIGE SEDAN. He plans to get his hands on my Cwahacoy and I don't think too highly of that.
I wake up with the phrase "People who send auto responders..."
"Show Some Respect, Their Job is Not Easy"
I am Limberluck. I only have a little coin on me but I'm going back to the Convenience Store to get a piece of chocolate or something, even though I've just returned from there. Maybe I'll find something close by.
I'm leaving some place, details vague, heading up Santa Fe Avenue and ending up in the artsy-fartsy North part of the Grand Old City in a sort of art-gallery-in-a-whole-building sort of thing. The emphasis being on artsy-fartsy rather than on any particular art per se. It's a very old stone building which is part of it's charming mystique, but darkish inside, velvety-like, and I don't recall any details until I decide that me and SC should go through the Urumara/LEAVE THE PLACE. SC is vaguely disguised as Mark and I quickly leave him behind as he seems to be lollygagging upstairs for some reason where we were. I am somewhat concerned about losing him, but who can get lost going down a flight of stairs? [We merged. I'm learning that dream characters posing as a younger sibling or my son are generally the 2-3-4.]
And that's all I'm doing, going down flight after flight of stairs/through the Urumara, so he should be able to figure that out, shouldn't he? Going down stairs is easy, watch this... Wheeeee! --I don't remember what the rush was but I start off by taking two or three steps at a time down the old, narrow steep gray granite polished stone steps, flight after flight, after each flight TURNING RIGHT to start down another one/through the Urumara again. With each flight I become more and more reckless, first leaping down more and more steps in one stride and then not even being concerned about where I land at all until I'm practically flying down entire flights of stairs in one or two strides, ecstatic.
I'm very close to Official Lucidity when I think how much this REMINDS ME OF THE RECENT DREAM in which I was sliding down RED-CARPETED staircases at night in a men's dorm. [The feeling of excitement that I might get caught was also semi-present in this even more lucid dream although I don't recall what the hurry was in this one, but the feeling that I might be apprehended did manifest this time as related below.]
Once I'm finished with the exhilarating FLIGHTS of stairs--the Urumara and a missed Fogjogger /Chained content--I find myself in a tiny polished gray granite front lobby, SUNLIGHT STREAMING IN THE DOORWAY, which is about six feet square. A large man--the Dream Usher from last night's Officially Lucid dream, is there to my RIGHT checking his mail. I go through the Urumara.
SC and I are sitting in a DARKISH VELVET room with Mouse and Cwahacoy, the atmosphere is delicious. You could slice that velvety darkness and eat it, but my mind is not on that. My Attention, all of it, is on Cwahacoy, a beautiful voluptuous French girl in a big dress slightly low-cut in front. She's facing me seated smiling with Mouse stern and imposing to her RIGHT, unseen and unheard but her presence is felt at first until I, Limberluck, merge with her and stop being shy. The first time I am slightly cautious when I say, "Will you marry me?" and Cwahacoy acts SURPRISED and wants me to repeat myself. I figure if I've blown it, then I've already blown it, so I might as well blow it all the way open, and I rare back and say it will fully engaged Intent: "Will you marry me?" conveying my complete and total admiration for the beautiful young woman with ROSE-colored satin dress and light brown hair piled up on her head in an old-fashioned way. She beams with somewhat unexpected friendliness and says, "Yes!" in her sweet European way and I'm somewhat taken aback. I expected some resistance and was just flirting--seriously flirting--but had just wanted to make my admiration clear. I inform her with keen disappointment that I'm already married and we have a friendly conversation in which she tells me among other things that she is a twin and her SISTER will be arriving soon. That's enough heartbreakingly beautiful information to pretty much blow me out of the scene completely.
Mark and I are outside and he's trying to park his car, but he's not very good at it, seems to lack some basic mechanical aptitude in regards to gravity and momentum. I AM LIMBERLUCK AND HE IS THE 2-3-4 [see many previous dreams where Mark/T. appears as my smaller, younger child or little bro companion--this is a new realization.] This is the City, the stone-and-brick old Grand City and we're at a corner where the street level goes down a series of maybe ten shallow brick STEPS about 2-1/2" deep each and 11" wide, and at the bottom of them is a short stairwell followed by GLASS DOORS in window pane style, all very old-fashioned, quaint and pretty, old-style European.
Unfortunately Mark has decided to park his car--HE IS THE 2-3-4 with his gravity hogging "car" or body--nosed down onto the steps where I quickly realize we run the risk of having his car smash through the glass doors/the Urumara if for any reason the car decides to drift forward. Which of course it does, down first one step and then another, rolling slowly. I holler at him so he tries again to park his car on the street, but still doesn't seem to have control of his 2-3-4 body/car. When he gets his car into the space he taps the car in front of him--I knew he was gonna do that--and my worst nightmare comes true when the car in front is induced to move forward by having been tapped, and a domino effect ensues with car after car being tapped, moving forward and tapping the next parked car. People are screaming bloody murder, everyone has his damn cell phone out taking pictures so that whoever's responsible--that would be us--will pay for this dastardly deed of destruction.
Thinking on my feet, I realize that we are screwed and our only hope is to skedaddle quickly and sneak back later for the car if there's anything left of it when this mob gets done with its dirty work. It's not like I care, but there's a time for everything and right now it's time to LEAVE ON FOOT. My only regret is not being able to stick around to spend more time with what's her name and her sister--what is her name, by the way? Did I even catch that? Some obscure French thing, I suppose. I gaze longingly down the STAIRWELL that leads to her semi-basement apartment but there's no time to kill, so I just pull a ballpoint pen out of my pocket and write what little I can recall of her name on a clear soft plastic tube that's a container for something else and call out my gotta-go's and we're gone through the Urumara.
The fantastical notion of somehow not being apprehended proves to be just that--a fantasy--when it turns out that the other side of the Urumara is a very small, darkishly velvety RED room serving for now as police headquarters. Most of the room is occupied by a RED L-SHAPED COUCH and the nice policeman/Whirly and the not-so-nice, pointedly unsmiling policewoman/Mouse--are seated on the couch alongside me and my silent companion Mark going through my homeless transient stuff with a fine-tooth comb, and they are finding a lot. The stuff seems to be expanding and includes stuff I didn't know I was carrying around with me, though I don't Notice this at the time.
The main item of concern is a shallow clear dish with a 1/4" of MJ leaf in the bottom of it--which is really the MUGGONS I'd smelled before bed--and more prominently a glass vial about 1-1/8" long with about 1/2" of hash oil in the bottom of it as well as strange implements for imbibing the smoke. I see it before they do and can only hope they don't Notice it, but of course my hope is made of smoke and my only reason to thank my limberlucky stars is that when the kindly old police officer does pick up the dish of MJ with the vial in it and asks me what it is, the level of hash oil has mysteriously gone down to only about 3/16" deep. I inform the cop that it's "hash oil or something" and he informs me that "If you smoke this anywhere outside of this city..." etc. and hope soars that maybe this stuff is legal here inside the City. You wouldn't know by the bearing of the tall, big-boned female police officer Mouse whose intense, tight-lipped demeanor would have me thinking I'd committed the crime of the century. I don't even know where the hash oil came from, but don't much care. I just hope they give it back to me so I can go smoke it somewhere.
With that in mind and after some strange rituals undertaken by the male police officers who seem to be branding me ON THE FOREHEAD with a strange glass tube, and after one more glance at the forbiddingly TALL, triangular-faced female police officer with short dark brown hair cut to accentuate the triangularishness of her face, I start gathering up my things just in case they decide to let me go.
And where did all these things come from? Even the YELLOW AND BROWN BLANKET [that I use in my physical bed], and what about all these long LOOPY YELLOW plastic tracks with toys that pop on and off of posts molded into the center of the track every few inches like obstacles on an OBSTACLE COURSE. My HANDS are already full, where will I put all this stuff? How can I make a clean getaway? And then Mark/2-3-4 to be extra annoying hollers YIPPEE because he's suddenly figured out how to extrude tiny RED pellet-sized toys from some sort of hand-held toy extruder so I tell him to stop doing that here, because he should, "Show some respect, their job is not easy." Hoping this statement helps me earn the trust of the Dream Police, I wake up in the Dayly Dreame forgetting to Just Get Up.
[Some things are becoming clear. Upon reaching the end of my dream fuel--Attention--I realize I'm dreaming and the dream scene stops instantly. I wait a second or two for the Dayly Dreame to reconstitute itself and then ritualistically tell myself I forgot to Just Get Up. I move or swallow or scratch or roll over and try to decide whether to Chain back in or get up to record the dream. Last night I didn't get up to record much of anything, sure I could either get unworlded by doing the Buzz Breath or Chain back in, and greedy for the Unworld I didn't want to stay up writing, but should have. The results of my state of confidence, however, were very impressive including two ecstatic encounter with Cwahacoy.]
[I also had one awesome phantom wiggle, but don't recall the details or when it happened.]
2018-01-03 3:50 am
My Soul Retinue has me trapped in a small wooden basement/the 2-3-4 like the below quarters of a small live-on BOAT and I think I've been kidnapped, but it's pretty enjoyable. Mouse has long blonde hair and she introduces me to Cwahacoy, a petite young woman with short wavy black hair and Middle Eastern features. That pointy nose and sculptured curly lip look. The three of us hit the sack... which goes well since it increases my lucidity... I merge with her.
Stephen is the ringleader, more diabolical than the others, but he agrees to release me and asks me if I have the right tool. I see that the way out/Urumara is a HATCH IN THE WOODEN CEILING that's been closed with one large screw. I happen to have my toolbox with its broken-off lid, but smaller and made from thin copper-colored metal. I find a large screwdriver and open the hatch. Stephen and Mouse go first while I put my screwdriver away and set the lid of the toolbox roughly on top of the disorganized cluttered box and a dozen eggs on top of that. I'm ready to go so Dream Usher pokes his head down and at first I wonder who it is and then I realize that Stephen's henchman is helpful and friendly. He is a middle-aged largish man with wavy black hair, big black mustache and brown skin. I stand on a wooden chair to reach the ceiling and exit through the Urumara/hatch.
This leads up to a dirty good-sized workshop full of strong black spider webs. I see no cause for alarm but look close to the floor to see if the others already plowed through there, making a Tunnel for me through the Urumara/webs, but they didn't. I get through somehow and take a RIGHT through the Urumara.
It's dark outside and I go too far so that upon exiting the Urumara I plunge off a cliff. Down below to the LEFT is a City of Colored Lights, transparent towers the colors of the rainbow, all made of translucent glowing materials. I wake up with a start in the Dayly Dreame, forgetting to Just Get Up.
[Cwahacoy lured me into a bed, but I forgot to pretend to go to sleep and Just Get Up.]
"If You're Interested in This Stuff Too, I Already Have a Mad Crush on You."
I'm the first person to get to work at the Pizza Place except one other guy, the shift Boss Jesse, who isn't too work-oriented. It seems he doesn't care if we do any kind of work, which is ODD. I look through some stapled-together schedules for times past and future, printed on long sea-GREEN paper/the Nowhere. I decide it would be worklike to copy my schedule which makes me feel less like a dead weight on the company. I see my name was written just "R...n" on several of the sheets, but having a hard time finding the current week's schedule. Something distracts me and I can't find the schedule no matter how hard I look for it. Others have arrived but everybody's just sitting around on the floor doing homework or something. Jesse's running a bath and I construct the memory of Marcia/Mouse/the general manager saying we should go ahead and use the bathtub since we have one. Jesse's left the faucet on so I turn it off and later when he remembers I tell him it's already off.
Jesse finds a huge slab of dough scored into chunks about 10" x 5" x 6" tall and puts it straight into the oven to make rolls. This seems a little off, but he's the Boss. Someone says there are going to be too many bubbles in the dough.
When stuff starts coming out of the Tunnel/oven, I'm the only one in the kitchen, so I inform the others in a loud voice, pulling things out quickly, bags of candy etc., setting them to the side in a clutter for the others to sort out. The big rolls of bread are coming out and I'm afraid they will soak up some spilled caramel sauce at the far end of the oven so I complain about that while going for a rag to wipe it up, but when I get back, Stephen has already wiped it up. I wipe up after him, WONDERING why I bothered. I merge with Stephen.
Cwahacoy is sitting across from me at a table in a bright WHITE room. The room IDs as the employee lounge where reading was being done earlier and Cwahacoy the same as the previous dream, but whereas she'd been kinda undersized in the previous dream, in this one, she's well fleshed-out, smiling, engaging and beautiful. Her eyes sparkle and she's right there with me. I'm reading aloud from a printed passage that mentions ancient archaeology secrets and when I get to a very long and convoluted Egyptian or Mayan name and comically bungle up the pronunciation, she instantly says the word correctly for me. This is a big thrill for me, increases my lucidity considerably, and I look her in the eyes and say, "If you're interested in this stuff too, I already have a mad crush on you." I recognize her from before in a vague way.
In a windowless Tunnel that appears to be a carpeted corridor in a first floor or single story office building or government building, I go into the largish men's room. No one else is there. Back down the corridor I realize I'm wearing only my boxers with a toy or plastic device in my HAND--Cwahacoy's BLUE GRAY--which I try to hold in front of my crotch thinking that if people see it, they won't see my boxers which are also BLUE GRAY. It seems a good idea to return to the men's room to get myself together. When I go through the Urumara into the Projection Room/men's room, the place is full of people. Immediately on the LEFT are four Asian men who are four feet tall in white shirts and ties washing their hair in a four-foot-long trough-like WHITE sink that's set relatively low to the ground for short people, but they're still getting water all over the place. Men are at every sink and all the stalls are full of men farting and shitting, it SMELLS terrible. In addition there's a line of chairs running the length of the LONG WHITE ROOM/TUNNEL with men sitting in them waiting for something, but the first chair closest to the door is occupied by an old woman. I find her particularly interesting. At first it seems she's off spacing out but then I decide she's embarrassed, looking away. I see that I'm fully-clothed in nice dark BROWN slacks, comb my hair which is longer and browner as if I were much younger. I tuck in my shirt and get ready to exit through the Urumara, wake up in the Dayly Dreame and forget to Just Get Up.
2018-01-04 3:45 am
Two flying dreams. The first was possibly 90 minutes ago, I didn't get up to write it down, because I considered it "plotless". The Idiossifier is very clever. Now I barely remember the details. I ended up flying through cold water fountains in absolute ECSTASY. SKATING downtown on feet.
"People Get Hurt"
I'm at an outdoor pharmacy using an INHALER sold to alcoholics when the inspector shows up to question me. The pharmacist takes his side and starts badgering me saying I use the inhaler too much. They're all crazy. The pharmacist is called away and a macho, musclebound street dude/the Dream usher tells me to take off. I twist my energy up and try to fly, but only get off a few inches.
Some guys including Stephen are getting ready to do AERIAL MARTIAL ARTS. Someone says, "And people get hurt?" and Stephen replies stoically, "People get hurt." I have a cloak rigged up with a safety pin and while considering joining their dangerous game in the Nowhere, I'm walking through the dark when I realize it's a bunch of gossiping liars that have been reporting me for INHALING TOO MUCH and Terra's daughter appears to be one of them. I take off walking into the Park where I see Joe C. starting a game of team tennis with some guys and decide to buzz him from behind. I invite him to go flying and take to the air, flapping my arms to clear the high tennis court chain-link fence/Urumara on my RIGHT since I don't have enough altitude to clear over the top of it.
Someone down below says someone is there who thinks like me, so I investigate. The Dream Usher dressed in a RED shirt and acting officious as a pudgy-yet-athletic guy looks like Jesse the mechanic, curly blonde hair, changes his mind citing "complete deniability" so I fly away into the Dayly Dreame, forgetting to...
[Lie down and pretend to go to sleep in the dream. Jump up and teleport to the Library where I'll meet my Soul Retinue and merge with each of them.]
2018-01-05 8:32 am
[Practicing Awakenings over and over, going in and out of Vibes, floating yawn , choking panic without the choking or the panic, smooth transitions from the struggle to take a breath (without the struggle) to the first breath like the newborn learning to consciously use his lungs for the first time. ~6:50 or so i clearly heard J. say, "Hon" and knew it was a fake, remained motionless. Deleting myself from two superfluous Facebook groups last night had something to do with this successful move into the transition zone. BIG BIG DEAL.]
2018-01-07 6:38 am
In the Park with T. and Ivan teaching them to take the plastic gun and other cargo out of their flying toys so they can FLY BETTER.
[Slipping into lethargy, oversleeping, no dream recall. Had one short visit to the Green Room and a dream hours ago in which...]
I'm PUSHING A CAR/(unmotivated) from the open driver's door while steering, a very close-to-being-unsymbolic actual unworlding event. OBElike, in other words.
[Shopping season over for the month, internet connex comes back on in four days. Will spend these four days getting chapters ready to upload and after that going back to balanced lifestyle with garden exercise each morning. Added note: this is finally coming to pass Jan 20. --ed.]
[To bed with one goal: write every dream fully and immediately. Just Get Up. Did a few breathings but was tired and went to sleep quickly.]
2018-01-08 1:24 am
[Just had a whole sci-fi novel narrated in my dream though it wasn't finished when I woke up. I experienced first person perspective of character after character as well as narrator. None were aware it was a novel, but at times I, the author, was aware but maybe only in the beginning. It seemed to go on for hours, days, weeks, or months. This was one of the most unique dreams of my life. There's no way to reproduce it on paper because I won't be able to remember very much of it. It was experienced detail by detail and written at least part of the time as a book, word by word. I don't remember how it started. Something about a trip to the space colony or the moon. Seems the buildings were put there by previous colonizers and we were going there to live in those buildings. Moon or some other planet, maybe Mars, not clear.]
As a pair of teenage girls, I'm walking around WONDERING why space suits aren't needed. IS THERE AIR OR NOT? Apparently there is. Not the same but breathable. Approaching a frame with metal tubular poles and a canvas roof, our job is to dig this in at a certain slope, or thin it around, or get it ready to take down for the trip back to earth, or all three. A man comes along behind us and changes our assignment in some way, changes it drastically.
I am now playing the part of that man/the Boss, the story continues, but my memory is not continuous as to what happens next. Somehow the story morphs through many scenes and the next thing I vaguely recall is that there are maybe three people living at the compound, maybe four. There's equipment, a warehouse, and our numbers are thinning. Maybe one man and two women are left. The man is a semi-lovable lout like Lee Marvin the actor, then I am him and he's cooking. Putting butter in a pan and it gets very dirty because the AIR IS DIRTY, but we have no choice. No hint of space suits or breathing apparatus, WE BREATHE WHAT'S THERE.
Then it's down to one man and one woman and I'm the woman/Cwahacoy. I can't take it any more, I tell him I want... I almost become Officially Lucid at this point, QUESTIONING who wants what.
Now I'm the last man left and/or someone found or created by the plot, which just keeps writing itself extemporaneously. I've discovered a pig and not realizing it should be kept alive by feeding it, i.e. killed it to eat, for which I am sorry. Part of the time I am the narrator and/or reader and there's a new cognate word for pig made by adding "pig" to another word.
Very close to Official Lucidity as I hear every word being narrated and experience the plot as the last man left at the compound. I have a rectangular device in my hand which is a FLASHLIGHT of sorts, but an untidy one with BATTERIES kinda falling out of it, but I can't worry about even how to turn it off right now because someone/the Dream Usher is coming and I was supposed to be the only one here, so I'm running to escape this PICKUP before they see me in the dark and I'm holding the light against my body so they won't see it. I'm running into a fenced area, fenced on 3 sides by a tall chain-link fence/the Urumara, knowing I'll be cornered but counting on being able to climb over the fence/Urumara before they can spot me, get out of the pickup and catch me. Knowing there's little hope of escaping, I entertain the notion that the INTRUDER might be friendly and hope that he/the Dream Usher is. A am aware that the narration has been ongoing for a long time line by line, run out of lines and wake up.
[Back to bed.]
[AWK1] [After some breathing.] The Dream Usher--same tallish roundish dude with curly hair as the last Officially Lucid dream--as well as SC--are frantically encouraging me with hand signals and "C'mon! C'mon!" to get sat down on the edge of my bed. This was unworlding or reworlding/entry coaching and they were very devoted in their efforts to get through to me in my comatoseness. As if injecting or pushing awareness into me so I would remember the experience of consciously sitting down.
[AWK2][Forgot. Vibes then AWK. Clearly. Same as last AWK, it comes on so quickly that we generally don't Notice. This is a big step. The Unibody explanation is good because What's Happening is a jillion nerve endings are being consolidated as one nerve ending like when vision which is normally two eyes with many nerve endings in each retina change to the mind's eye which has no limits as a boundless point of awareness.]
The Unworlding Lessons continue with a dream in which I'm first given a new PO Box 827 zip 92079 and this is equivalent to a small WHITE WOOD HOUSE where I am to live with a retarded guy/my 2-3-4 who is both slovenly and bossy. After I've been there a while, I Notice he cooks with ALL THREE BURNERS ON AND TURNED ALL THE WAY UP; one burner doesn't even have a pan on it. I WONDER what this will do to the POWER bill. Then I see the small wood kitchen table is covered with JUNK and at first I assume this junk is all mine and I offer to move it so he'll have a place to eat, and he says, "Well you better!" and I ignore his rudeness and see that in fact it's all his junk, but start ORGANIZING it myself. I put all broken/burned out stove burners in one place and try to find a place for all his arts and crafts, WONDERING if I should tell him where I'm putting it, or if it will do any good, or whether saying "your crafts" to a retarded person would sound condescending.
In the living room I go to the front corner past tons of junk--this is the Partridge house--I start picking up larger bits of potato and corn chips, planning to come back for the crumbs later. I see a bowl of tasty chips uneaten and construct a pseudo-memory of having left those there when my dad was visiting and then forgetting to eat them. I almost put one in my mouth then WONDER how stale and soft they must be and then in response I see one is covered with mold.
I'm finishing up the kitchen table and see a bunch of spilled GLITTER on the table which I'm about to sweep up with my HAND and then I imagine his social worker showing up and giving me the business for throwing away a retarded person's artsy-craftsy stuff.
Back in the living room it's almost too full of junk to find the floor, but I'm doing my best to sweep it with a damp cloth in my hand. I can't actually see the floor but I can feel the cloth smooshing through layers of unswept particles on the floor. It grosses me out. I have to do this right with a broom but all this extraneous junk piled everywhere will have to be moved.
[I wake up and too late I suddenly remember to Just Get Up, aware of the usual time lag when I could have Just Gotten Up in the Nowhere but waited too long for this to register.]
[This was clearly an experiential meeting with my own slovenly 2-3-4. The retarded guy was LYING DOWN when I first got there.]
[Back to bed.]
[After J. told me to get T. up for Catholic School I just went back to sleep and had this dream.]
"Oh Good, Can I Light the Fuse?"
I've moved into the Homeless Shelter and I don't like the tall skinny guy--Stephen--who's in charge. I go outside one morning to find with excitement that the whole City is in revolt, there's gonna be a parade and maybe a riot if I'm lucky. I run back to the Shelter and everybody's streaming out of it in their PINK pants and WHITE shirts. I look at my feet, very close to Official Lucidity and see I'm wearing new-looking white sneakers. When I get back to the house--a low, long wooden building/the Tunnel PAINTED WHITE--looks like a barracks. Stephen tells me it's the celebration of a Franciscan suicide attack and as Limberluck I say, "Oh good, can I light the fuse?" I LOOK IN THE MIRROR and barely recognize myself. I seem to have small bumps on my face. [J. starts shouting, wakes me up.]
[To bed. Tonight I will demonstrate how easy it is to get unworlded. Easy and natural. I will get up to record each and every dream and first I will get up in the Unworld lucidly, before the dream has ended. Lie down in a dream, pretend to go to sleep, get up in the Unworld. Go to Sleep Right, Wake Up Right. Wake up Slow, Get Up Fast, Just Get Up. I know how to do this. Just Get Up. It's easy. I can do it in my sleep.]
[Proceeded to an awesome Noticing session before sleep.]
[No dreams recalled.]
2018-01-09 3:15 am
[Odd snatches of recall only.] Ti has gouged herself out of every photograph in her house.
The Inventor who IDs as J. has a water-powered car to show me. It's open at top, a convertible with no seats and he fills the whole thing with a bright GREEN solution. I ask if it's antifreeze and he says no, it's methanol. He fills the car to the brim--this is in a big warehouse-like place--turns it on. It starts SHAKING and the water BOILS out of it quickly. He's standing in the water at one point and I ask him if he's getting ELECTROCUTED and he says yes. Finally he jumps out with relief. Later the car is going up a concrete ramp going Vroom. I'm standing next to the ramp so it's about level with my shoulders. A tire is lying on the side of the ramp in the car's way as an obstruction/Urumara. The car is MAROON.
[After being woken up I lay still experiencing the Vibes, bathing in the Vibes, and being surprised to experience several phantom wiggles.]
2018-01-12 11:50 pm
[To bed. Spent two days on a genealogy project. Hope to contact Antonio S. in Unworld tonight. Will try tactile imaging (thumb circling) when I lie down a la Robert Bruce.]
2018-01-13 12:01 am
[Results were swift whether because I'm fatigued and sleep deprived or off the topic for two days with interest building or because I did the thumb joint circling right or because it has innate power.]
[AWK1] An aggressive male entity contacts me with definite plans to lecture at length whether I'm interested or not.
[AWK2] Female words, "It won't help me to shut up!"
"Hi, Have We Met?"
In the living room of the Cluttered Cozy Cottage with some women I don't know/Mouse & Cwahacoy, I see two thick paperback BOOKS are being used as weights to hold down some steaming cloth. I think it might be on fire, then I decide it's just STEAM. I decide to stop working for Mouse because she has been mean to somebody else so I'm planning to tell her I don't want the job she assigned me which is to read a book. I plan to explain to her that a real job entails more than reading a book.
[I wake up, peed, and went back to bed circling my thumb joint and then deciding to do FILD and thinking how effective it was for me a few times.]
Walking across a large empty front entrance toward the Urumara, Mouse approaches me with a very large YELLOW ENVELOPE she has found, asking me if it belongs to the LIBRARY. There's no indication of what's inside, but I can see by the marking on it that it is owned by a Library. I realize the door to the Library is right over there on the other side of the room, but I'm going the other way, so I tell her to go ask a librarian. I go through the Urumara.
With SC/T. and some women onlookers/Mouse & Cwahacoy, I'm getting ready to head for home, but first I want to see what's in the SMALL CARDBOARD BOX, about 12" x 11" x 4" tall, I open it and take everything out. The women make some comments and mention T. I respond something about a birthday, but I QUESTION why I even said that because it's no one's birthday. I try to put everything back in the envelope which includes some folded CLOTH and it's not gonna fit. I WONDER how it got in to begin with. I go through the Urumara.
As Limberluck, I'm WALKING home on the RIGHT side of the boulevard with the box past government buildings on the right. Drizzly or twilightish, not bright. I'm thinking I should get that quart of beer out of the box and drink it while walking home as soon as I veer off the main road toward the RIGHT. I know it's frowned upon to walk down the street publicly drinking, but I DON'T CARE. I almost change my mind when I realize the beer was opened yesterday and is not cold. But still, why not? It's not like I have to drink it all if it's flat, and so what if it is? I'd still enjoy the resulting BUZZ. I go through the Urumara.
Some weather--dim or almost raining--this time I'm on the LEFT side of the street/Tunnel and turn LEFT onto the Boulevard/Tunnel--approaching the same place I was in the previous sequence. I'm with my Soul Retinue but not thinking about that.
Then I recognize Cwahacoy from the back, she's walking about eight feet ahead so I hurry to catch up. I CALL HER "ALEXA" but she's the exact girl who was on my table in a BLUE dress in a recent Officially Lucid dream (River/Kari/Saffron). She's dressed in PINK sweat pants. I notice everyone is in bare feet and this is supposed to be a barefoot run (Fun Run type of thing or group jogging)--involving the Library in some way. We are Library employees or something.
I'm not sure Alexa/Cwahacoy/River will want to see me, but she has wanted to before and it's worth a try so I catch up to her and walk along with her on my LEFT. When I tentatively bring up our friendship/intimacy--that special Cwahacoy merging feeling--she has no problem with that and I'm ecstatic. So we will be running together after all. I tell her to hang on a second because "I have to take off my shoes," and find I'm wearing leather sandals which I plan on putting in my cardboard box. I WONDER if the dirt on my sandals will mess anything up that's in the box and I WONDER if the small pebbles on the sidewalk will tear up my feet, but I figure it will be fun and I've RUN BAREFOOT ON THE SIDEWALK BEFORE [when developing my dream bodies age 13 Albuquerque, running barefoot in front of my house fast like the wind with the dark ones close behind.] I go through the Urumara.
Arriving home which is the Cluttered Cozy Cottage, fuzzy homey feeling, I see a two-foot long, three-inch diameter BLACK caterpillar with small bright YELLOW markings hanging fro the ceiling LIGHT fixture and SPINNING AROUND slowly. I think this is ODD but I'm sure this is my real house where I live with J. although it bears no resemblance to the Dayly Dreame. I look to see what the caterpillar is hanging from and see--although this makes no particular impression on me--that it's hanging from a normal-sized copy of itself which in turn is hanging by a SLENDER THREAD from the LIGHT fixture i.e. lucidity is knocking loud. The big bug starts SPINNING faster and faster so by now I'm really thinking IT WOULD BE COOL IF THIS WAS A DREAM, but how could it be? It is AS REAL AS REAL COULD BE, I KNOW WHO I AM, I know who my wife is, so obviously I'm not dreaming, this is REAL. But still I should check so I remove the lid from a huge aluminum pot I find in my LEFT hand and see about four to five inches of leftover noodles in the bottom of it, just like my wife would cook. "Looks real!" I see that she has thrown several already-gnawed ribs back into the pot--now that's something my wife would do, so obviously this is real. I COUNT the bones, "One two three four five." I put my face close to the pot and SMELL the congealed BROWN skinny bihon noodles and I CLEARLY SMELL THE LEMON GRASS. "Smells real." Case closed, this is REALLY HAPPENING.
I look up and I'll be damned if the caterpillar hasn't turned into something else--something BROWN and unidentifiable. Now I'm really BAFFLED. It's Smudgely but I don't get this. The thing is diabolically interesting and manages to recapture my lagging Attention by climbing down and going over to the RECLINER and sitting down. This has me TOTALLY PERPLEXED. How can all these things be HAPPENING FOR REAL? I look carefully and see it's an old BROWN teddy bear with big round ears extending from its big round head. It's over three feet tall and smiling and LOOKING STRAIGHT AT ME. But it's just an ordinary teddy bear, it's not alive, just a toy bear. I am OVERWHELMED WITH A FEELING OF FUN and as Limberluck I humorously walk up to the teddy bear/Smudgely, shake its hand, and jokingly say, "Hi, have we met?" As a reality check, I ask myself where I just came from, and really remember being at a Library which just convinces me that all is real. I tell myself "This is real," and then instantly [wake up in the Dayly Dreame smacking my physical hands together in frustration saying, "No it's not!" out loud. Thought about Chaining back in, but didn't want to forget any details.]
[Just did muggons x2. Lying down to get unworlded. No sounds. Not hot. Will do thumb circling.]
4:59 pm [AWK1] Something would be longer than it is now if an index sort of thing were added to each section.
5:07 pm [Leg pain, can't relax.]
[Planning to visit the Unworld with maximum calm and awareness tonight, writing down all dreams. Chaining back in, going directly to the Vibes and sleep paralysis. WILD using FILD and thumb circling. In the Unworld lie down, pretend to sleep, have a False Awakening, Just Get Up. Wake up Slow, Get up Fast, Just Get Up. In the morning from 4:00 a.m. on, wake up many times over and over. Roll out. Float up. Get up. Walk through walls.]
2018-01-14 3:02 am
[No dreams recalled. Will FILD after meditating.]
[Meditation sitting in chair. Enjoying Suction of Sleep, letting it take me but then pulling back out each time.]
INCREDIBLE SUCCESS, Kundalini Rising. I don't recall how it began, but I was totally aware at the time. These memories fade in seconds. I had gone to sleep on my back using FILD after a brief thumb circling. The meditation was all Suction of Sleep, nodding out, and I enjoyed that, it was the right stuff. Then with FILD I went to sleep and it Chained me into a borderline state which woke me into a rather sudden realization that I was:
--Looking at a blob, like an inkblot, but abstract.
--That it was not a blob but a tall pointy hill with some scraggly evergreen trees right on top.
--That despite the distance I could see the trees with perfect clarity as if I was two feet away from them.
I shouted at myself, "Touch it!" and felt a true Floating Yawn build all the way from scratch. This is not a yawn at all, but it builds involuntarily in the same way as a yawn. The exact order of events is now very hazy but I remember absolute clarity of awareness during the experience several long minutes ago. The Floating Yawn is a Vibration that feels like an intense shiver up the spine but it is NOT a physical sensation, it is more real than a physical sensation. I recall feeling fear and instantly countering the fear wordlessly, something to the effect that it won't hurt me, this is exactly what I've been waiting for, and with that, I was 100% in it. There was a combination of motion toward the tree and into the Nowhere, the tree didn't matter anymore. The building Floating Yawn quickly traveled up my spine--this is Kundalini Rising--and up the back of my head. Then I clearly remember knowing I was in paralysis but not caring to test it, and rejecting any fear of that. I then had to reject getting too excited. The Vibes became a real, steady beat and I could will them to change frequency. I recalled Kepple's description of bathing in the Vibes and did that. I tried waiting till they faded but by so doing I think I accidentally willed them to shut down because when I started to get up I was clearly physical, or so I assumed and believed. [I also know what it feels like to relax into sleep paralysis and feel my feet float up and what it feels like to then begin to exit feet first. That's what I should have tried instead of trying to physically get up. I did get up a minute later to write this down since this has happened a few times before, but tonight was 5 to 10 times more conscious and continuous and way longer. The whole experience was only a minute or two but I was highly aware and trying to control fear and excitement the whole time. I am not sleepy at all right now. Wearing my lucidity hat. I have a new term for the speed with which the memory fades--"State specific amnesiory" or maybe Spazumnesia. Combination of amnesia and memory because I clearly recall being super aware during the experience but SECONDS later when the Dayly Dreame is reconstituted, I can't say what I was doing when it started, and it's hard to put a name to some parts of the experience and the exact order of events is hazy. I do recall going to sleep with FILD and thumb circling and breathing.]
[Back to bed. Hot, sleepy, will FILD again. and thumb circling.]
"Venture Inward (Hello, Thanks for Waiting)"
In the Pizza Place, the Dream Usher shows up as an off-the-clock employee--a young man I don't really see--and the PHONE rings on two lines at once, so I put one on hold and take the other call. A young man wants to speak to an employee with an odd name who isn't there, so I offer to take a message which I will write on the back of some cash register receipts in a shallow box to my RIGHT on a low shelf. We are seated opposite to the side counter in the Postal Center lobby, Dream Usher is to my right with the phone on a counter between us. Old-fashioned big clunky BEIGE phone. I fiddle with the partly crumpled receipts till I decide I can use any of them and pin it on the employee bulletin board in back. SC/Dream Usher is patient and quiet, but not on the clock. The person on the line starts a convoluted message about how the employee he's calling will have to jump through certain hoops to contact him by phone--his spiel starts with "the thing is, he'll have to..." and complexifies from there. I sense that now's a good time to break in, so I tell the guy "I have a customer on hold and this is not a message center," so he tells me to just have the employee drop by his house. He gives the employee's name and I ask him to repeat it a little later. It's "Venture Inward" and the caller has a similar name I don't remember. While trying to write on the back of the receipt I say to Dream Usher without looking up, "Just get that," in reference to the line on hold, but he politely ignores my request, so I push the button--Chaining the Officially Lucid Hawkeye dream where I met the merging of Mouse and Cwahacoy by phone--and WONDERING if I've pushed the right button I say, "Hello, thanks for waiting," but there's silence, so I say to Dream Usher "He didn't," and hang up. [Woke in Dayly Dreame in Vibes, which quickly faded.]
[When I was lying still on my back doing FILD I was in paralysis and felt I could break it by moving my fingers further, but didn't want to. Hands felt very heavy. Wouldn't have known I was in paralysis but felt at least catalepsy if not paralysis when wiggling fingers as little as possible. Had just started playing with trying to flap my two non-physical hands alternately up off the bed when I lapsed into sleep briefly.]
[Back to bed. Will sleep on side.]
[Back to bed.]
In a very high, claustrophobic well-lite but tight space which I characterize as the backs of airplane seats going up and over on one side in an immense vertical plane, tilted at an angle of maybe ten degrees and on the other side a vertical plane of chrome or stainless steel drawer handles. The two vertical planes are parallel to each other and tilted but very close together, so it's just possible to climb down this seemingly endless place using the shiny drawer handles as stepladders.
Someone is climbing down a tall stepladder backwards i.e. not facing the ladder but facing the air.
I end up in the LIBRARY and briefly Notice Nitpicker and Potwatcher/two librarians and I walk up to a tall little note table where you stand to write your references on slips of paper. Nitpicker and Potwatcher are now two guard dogs Chained to the table. A group of well-dressed gangsters comes in through the DOUBLE GLASS DOORS/The Nowhere/The Urumara. The man in charge tells everybody to not be afraid of his gun. His gun is bright YELLOW. I'm mortally terrified, I moan in terror with my wrist over my mouth and stagger to the right. [This is an URUM dream or almost so.] Mouse is in the gang, she comes through the door pushing a cart with a KEY-MAKING setup including a vertical display of key blanks hanging on it. I decide to run for it and exit behind her through the Urumara/door and proceed away, waiting for bullets to hit me in the back.
[Woke up, chained back in, FILD.]
On a large covered front porch of the Elementary School with children milling about. Someone arriving back at the porch points to his LEFT, my right, I look and T. is arriving his mouth covered with blood. My first thought is that he got in a fight. I sit him down on my lap sideways, his back to my RIGHT and have to hold him up. I am horrified and emotional, repeating about three times, "What happened?" He is unable to answer, then he says, "Kapoy..." ("Tired..."), his eyes roll back in his head and he goes back. I push him back upright and change my question: "Are you OK?" [and wake up, Chain back in, FILD].
I'm stuck in a bedroom with some horrible people, the leader looks like Bruce Willis and the other is SC. SC makes me hold a black-and-white dog, [deleted]. [Wake up and take notes, Chain back in, FILD.]
T. still has a bloody mouth but he's able to talk and tries to explain what happened, but keeps using words like "ana" (whatchacall) and hand gestures with what appears to be a big dirty-white balloon or bladder or water balloon of some kind.
[Back to bed. Slept till 9:30 a.m.]
[To bed, relaxing quickly.]
[Focus in on FILD, relaxing quickly, many Awakenings, writing everything down, 3:00 meditation, continuous awareness through the transitions to and from sleep, and LYING DOWN IN THE UNWORLD, pretend to be asleep, and Just Get Up in the LIBRARY. There calmly exploring notions such as inventions, reincarnation and first meeting with my Soul Retinue so all Seven of us can merge into the Future Self Whirly and stay in the Unworld as long as Whirly wants. Also thumb circlings.]
[AWK1] re: Bill Truitt recognizing some "things that needed to be taught and he didn't want to leave them up to chance."
[No dream recalled.]
2018-01-15 2:15 am
Talking to someone about a TUNNEL that has to be built and he wants to know whether it should be designed to surface at a certain place or the alternate place which is a swimming pool that's already been renovated once. I think it would be too bad to have to tear up the swimming pool to do it.
I'm out front of the swimming pool office when I see there's a small Nowhere/lawn in front and it seems it would be so much better to tear a HOLE INTO THE LAWN than into the swimming pool. I start to explain this to the Boss/my 3ness body but he's all concerned about something else, a man from earlier in the dream, the Dream Usher, who he is convinced has MADE OFF WITH ONE OF HIS ORANGE HOSES. So I take him through the Urumara/into the storehouse across the street from the lawn/Nowhere. The shed appears to have nothing but ORANGE hoses [Boss=3ness=orange], so I count them to show the Boss all are accounted for. I count the flat ones with a white stripe--Kundalini--not the round ones. He has to agree I'm right because I count carefully more than once and each time I count I find more. I show him how to look carefully when counting things. The shed is the Tunnel and there's an aisle to walk along the LEFT while the hoses are up on a very deep riser or wide shelf-like high floor on the RIGHT, some 6 to 8 feet from the aisle. It's just a matter of Noticing them. He has to agree.
At the Gymnasium President Trump is in attendance and some kid heckles him, so Trump embarrasses everybody by making an example of the kid and lecturing him in a calm way at some length. The kid is joined in audience by his friend and the two of them--Nitpicker and Potwatcher--have to sit through the lecture from an ORANGE-haired idiot calmly and respectfully so they kneel on one knee at the open end of a Tunnel formed by a line of people/my Soul Retinue while the Boss/Trump lectures them and they hold their BASKETBALLS--also ORANGE--on their upraised knees.
I invite KK to move back in with me and we both seem to be happy with the situation until I go to open the closet where trash is burned and find that she has rolled my dirty laundry up into a big Nowhere/BEIGE towel and chucked it into the trash chute. It seems that none of it actually burned, it just sat on top of cold coals which are up on a shelf just inside the Urumara/door. The elevated floor/shelf is up about four feet high, same as the elevated shelf ledge in the previous scene. I pull the towel out and all the dirty laundry comes with it. I leave it in a pile just outside the door to shame KK. The house is well-lit and WOODEN. The walls are WHITE with WOOD FLOOR.
I relate the horrific insult to our landlord and landlady, Mouse and Whirly. They agree that I've certainly been insulted. I go through the Urumara to the bottom of a big roundish sloped FRONT LAWN/the Nowhere as Mouse/SC walks with me telling me all the gossip about KK that could possibly be construed as negative. I gesture for her to be silent when I notice KK just a little ways up the hill from us on our RIGHT, where she's just getting out of her CAR. She knows I'm going to confront her, so she flies away and I give chase through the Urumara.
We are both birds. She's a large BLACK crow--the Dream Usher--and I'm a large RED/emotional bird. She flies over a large open area/the Nowhere inside a big high-ceilinged open building like a warehouse or industrial shop and lands on the rungs of a ladder built into the wall. I make a beeline for her, over and over, nearing her location at too high a speed so that when I arrive and try to land, I always miss wrapping my talons around the ladder rung. Then she takes off to the other side of the large WHITE room and the whole thing repeats. I finally realize I'm not wrapping my feet on the ladder rungs due to FEAR of contacting the metal rungs at such a high speed. Like not being able to catch a ball because you're worried it will hurt your hand. This realization which is presented to me visually in slow motion sends me through the Urumara back to the closet where trash is burned. Inside I find Whirly sitting there instead of the four-foot riser and instead of the laundry coming in through the Urumara/laundry chute 8 feet over his head and landing on top of a 4-foot riser where trash is burned, it falls on his head. He's seated cross-legged on the closet floor so he's four-feet tall. I pull dirty sweat socks off his head and shoulders, Noticing that they got stuck in the Tunnel/chute above and fell on him.
[Back to bed, will meditate sitting up in bed, then lie down and FILD back through the Urumara into a lucid Unworld.]
"Time to Leave"
Eating with Soul Retinue/parents/SC in AIRPORT restaurant. I ask what's these little gelatinous balls in sauce and DR/SC responds gruffly with an ethnic name I should have known. He sits at my LEFT. I'm finishing up my plate a small rectangular platter thing where's a few brown pancit noodles on the RIGHT of the plate and something else in the LEFT. I take the last bite and bit down on something hard, spit it out on my plate and it's a tiny white LIGHT BULB. I say, "There's a light bulb in my food." It has lines/contours molded into the glass like a very old xmas bulb. A family of well-dressed Xmas carolers exit the restaurant onto the outside terrace where our table is and start setting up their INSTRUMENTS. I say, "Time to leave," and wake up in the Dayly Dreame forgetting to Just Get Up.
[To bed. Suction of Sleep.]
[AWK1] "Logically, you could calculate something down to [?] number of decimal places." [shown]
[Will FILD back in.]
[AWK2] A dream body is teasing, threatening to take a spoonful of something, once, twice I start to take the bait, then third tease I go for it and land back in the Dayly Dreame with a Jerk.
[AWK3] "All your cloak warning...?" Looking to T. with a look of not understanding.
[AWK4] Was busy in the Projection Room doing something when the clear sound of someone knocking seven times on a wooden door or something woke me, I forgot to Just Get Up. No idea what the wooden thing could be, didn't sound like anything I recognize in this house.
[AWK5] Something about "English IV" and a Jerk of my right hand.
[Still doing thumb circling, FILD and Buzz Breath.]
[AWK6] Making two quick strokes down my right arm toward the hand, after which woken by a Jerk.
[AWK7] "Let's waste time by buying in here and..." In the wine store [forgot to Just Get Up].
[AWK8] Something about "Meddlemind" Large phantom wiggle of left hand.
[Awesome Awakenings session, average time 8 minutes per AWK.]
[To bed. Not sleepy. Close to finishing the website for now. Will attempt to merge with Limberluck while still awake and thus fly consciously through the Urumara with no lapse.]
[AWK1] Woken by a sneeze and realized I'd been watching a motorcycle go down a suburban boulevard then realized the sound was contributed by a motorcycle going past the house outside in the Dayly Dreame.
[AWK2] "Too much identifiic." Big Jerk.
[Legs hurt, have to get antibiotics UTI because of xmas chocolate.]
[Back to bed.]
2018-01-16 12:50 am
"I Live Here Every Day"
I arrive by CAR at night with my Soul Retinue and turn RIGHT into the driveway/Tunnel, later I will ascertain by backthinking it that I'd turned into the close-knit neighborhood by turning RIGHT and then took an immediate RIGHT into the driveway of the house itself. The address is something like 5095 East Something and the person who lives there is the Inventor/Patsy the red-haired [friend of KK.] In the a.m. rounding everybody up isn't that easy because it turns out that the members of my Retinue were put up in a variety of places and they have to be reassembled so we can leave together. I'm sitting in the car watching them appear in windows including Mark till the one missing seems to be DR although could be I just haven't seen him yet.
It's a very rustic close-knit hillbilly village. Patsy says it's a good thing we didn't run over her post-mounting for her "depth correction" pump because the whole place would be flooded without the pump running all the time. I see that the pump goes up and down all by itself when she lights a fire underneath it so I get all excited and start interrogating her. This is a great find, Tommy will be excited. I look over the contraption which includes some new-looking brass valves and stuff, and ask her if there are any valves and things underground and she confirms that there are, which makes me more excited. I confirm that she did in fact build it herself, but she can't seem to recall any details, so I posit a more knowledgeable partner whose name she can't recall though she seems to be thinking hard trying to REMEMBER it. I excuse her and vow to find the person anyway and milk them for the details.
Church is starting and finally it's time for everybody to go in. I'm wearing choir robes which seems to be a mistake and I can't wait to get them off. Patsy's already there sitting way over on the LEFT signaling me to join her there. When I get sat down it's in a brightly lit place more like a big open room for noisy gatherings. I signal my Soul Retinue--two companions disguised as Joe C. and Paul C. (red hair) to sit in a certain row. A local hillbilly, young crude fella whose civic pride outstrips his intelligence is oozing hostility--the Dream Usher actually, I'm afraid he's gonna take JC's cutting up as an insult. JC has made some sarcastic slams about the place and is laughing hysterically at his joke while PC is trying to encourage him to mellow out because the local is seething with the pent-up need to extract vengeance on some outsider. I remind JC that "I live here... every day," but he just won't get the hint and mellow his tone.
[Back to bed. Suction of sleep. FILD.]
[AWK1] Noticed I was still narrating the dream word for word in my sleep and realized I had nothing to write with but forgot to Just Get Up. Last part was "Which I was unable to download due to bandwidth limits."
[Back to bed. FILD.]
Something about a long, dusty road, reading signs all night, continuous awareness, narrating, Chaining.
[Walked around town today. When I paid a guy double to take me to a pizza place and found it was closed, I didn't get mad, just walked halfway across town impromptu, purposely going the wrong way and not deciding what to eat till I got to another pizza place and decided to try it. Hated the sauce but ate the whole thing and enjoyed the cheese, didn't complain. An employee or stand-by sat doing nothing but staring right at me so I just changed seats, didn't get mad or leave. Then when I was walking again, some guys were carrying long rebars out of a hardware place without watching where they were going and almost poked me in the eye with it, I just reached up and grabbed the bars and lifted them up over my head. Kept going, didn't get mad. Then, two young boys in nice clothes were harassing me in English, pretending to be beggars, and when I didn't give them any money they threatened, in English, to have me arrested, saying "American like you got arrested." (Real beggars don't wear clean clothes from the mall or speak English.) They kept following me closer and closer and I decided that in order to feel safe I had to act as if they might be thieves or pickpockets, and spun around with a ready-for-action arm in the air inches from one of their necks, and said in a firm voice, "Don't get too close to me!" Then turned around and took a left into the hospital where I was having tests done. I felt I had to perform the pro-active gesture because at the time there was still enough space between us and the hospital/security guard for them to move on my pockets, and they were encroaching on me aggressively. But I didn't get mad, just took care of my needs.]
[Lying down, tired and a little sleepy. Overcast, not too hot.]
In this house where we live in the Dayly Dreame, I go downstairs with the small RED box that I keep on my desk to ask J. if she's seen something that's missing from the box. She has company--my Soul Retinue which I fail to recognize--and I ask her about it anyway. She wants to know what's missing from the box so I pick it out of the box and show her--one of those plastic templates used for drawing letters. I become almost Officially Lucid when it occurs to me that what I'm looking for is in my hand. I go back upstairs mumbling something about the little square hole in the corner, I thought it had to have the big square hole in the corner when actually either big or small didn't matter because I was needing to use the letters not the hole in the corner. (The hole in the corner is the X that I experienced in an incredible AWK once which drifts off screen when losing awareness.)
I see the rest from third person perspective. At a meeting of my Soul Retinue someone is describing graphically by way of a photo a trick that was played on someone once. The photo shows an outdoor clothesline that had been photographed by a spy camera from above at a certain shallow angle so that the large cut-out letters hung from the clothesline could clearly be seen. The letters spell out a hilarious insult in acronym form for the entertainment of the spies who represent an interrogation committee that's asking for information on a form that they could easily find out for themselves since it's common public knowledge. The person explaining all this looks like Col. Klink on Hogan's Heroes . He explains the message behind the acronym in two halves. The first half is something like "Unlike the ignorant fucks who didn't bother to look at the public record to find that I attended such-and-such Community College..." which creates such a wave of LAUGHTER that the speaker has to wait for it to subside. I wake up in the Dayly Dreame.
[To bed. Will perform Blaffinveigle at 3:00 a.m. (which I didn't do). Will perform Vac-U-Move and FILD now. (Did perform FILD all night every time I woke up. Didn't get into Vac-U-Move much because it accentuates the pain in my legs which is why I went to the doc today.) Practice instant relaxation/IMP.
[Remembered a dream on waking but it was forgotten before I finished peeing. Back to bed.]
I'm aware that I--my 2-3-4--has gone to sleep in a lower level sleeping cell in a row of them, but I mistake him for Greg A. I'm working on a snack pizza. I think there will be more sauce in our refrigerator in his place and think about sneaking in while he's asleep to grab the sauce. It's in an aluminum foil thing and some sloshes out while I walk.
I've planted a garden of sprouts outside of our little row of sleep cells and I'm watering them all in the middle of the night when I should be sleeping, so when J. comes out I pretend I'm SLEEPWALKING and LIE DOWN/FALL DOWN and say some nonsense syllables so she'll think I'm TALKING IN MY SLEEP. She morphs into KK by LAUGHING AT ME HYSTERICALLY the way KK used to do whenever I hit my head or did some really clumsy thing (which used to make me angry). So I pretend to WAKE UP with a kabo (water scoop) in my hands WONDERING WHERE I AM AND HOW I GOT THERE. Almost Officially Lucid and start LAUGHING.
Also I know for sure I've done this/dreamed this once before in the same night. ALL VERY LUCID.
[Back to bed. FILD. Frequent awakenings and sleep periods closer together than the usual 90 minutes, due to having taken a long nap this afternoon.]
2018-01-17 12:59 am
"The Argumentstra Files"
The Soul Retinue and I are in danger of being DISCOVERED, so we're in the dark waiting for an important rendezvous with Jayruse who's LEARNED TO FLY (aircraft) only about a week ago. Mouse/BBing assures me that Jayruse is a DIFFERENT PERSON when in the air i.e. self-assured, not timid.
In the darkness of the SPACESHIP's interior, we prepare and wait, but we have to hurry or we won't prepare right. I see someone's stashed the food--which is on plates--on a high wooden shelf and I say, "No, no, this has to be done properly," so I run over and have to stand on tiptoes to reach the shelf. I carry the food to a lower bunk bed with a black vinyl mattress cover/the Nowhere. I say, "This place was designed by a six-foot-tall idiot," because the shelf is so high.
Now where's T. and his friend/Nitpicker and Potwatcher. They hurry in. T. says, "I don't keep files," and tosses his calendar on a low shelf, there's two calendars on top of each other, identical, entitled, "The Argumentstra Files." We're supposed to make a rendezvous re: a RED room full of RED antiques. Images flash to remind me of this and I recall this assignment from earlier. There's a RED LIGHT in the high ceiling BLOWING AIR up a BLACK CURTAIN/my sleep mask which I stretch tighter so the moving air can be sensed, to determine if we've got ENOUGH THRUST GENERATED FOR TAKEOFF. I question that there's enough power but Jayruse isn't concerned about it.
When are we gonna take off? They'll find us here. A LIGHT on-and-off suddenly illuminates a large parking lot below us full of cars--my signal to GO/Just Get Up [I missed it] and I wake up a few seconds later, Just Got Up too late.
[Back to bed. FILD.]
[No dreams recalled.]
[I'm wearing my lucidity hat even though the dream was not Officially lucid because it was one of the most lucid dreams I've ever had in terms of the Three Dimensions of Lucidity: Depth, Height, and Length. I give most of the credit to yesterday's activities: exercise (walking all the way across town instead of getting rides), being in town all day without eating any chocolate, ice cream, coffee, or candy; daily Awakenings, and Relaxing-No-Matter-What, i.e. Sublimating Distraction. The latter because there was enough domestic strife yesterday a.m. to shake several sticks at, but I continuously maintained my equanimity and kept my eyes on the goal: Noticing the miracle of existence. The same thing happened in town, as I had to physically defend myself twice and did so both times without losing my placid mindset. Hard to believe but true. Of course the threats were only perceived threats but what else is new?]
[Woke up from the following Big Dream with a tune going through my head, lyrics starting with "It's the same old planet with a point of view..."]
"Stealing from Myself (Sublimating Distraction)"
Mouse is a young woman and Whirly is Stephen, a young man with blond hair who looks like Greg A. We're at the edge of a body of water, very deep, with a huge slab of flat stone or concrete sloping steeply down into the depths of the water from the shore. She complains that she's sure her bucket is stuck down there under some stuff and wants us to go down and get it back for her. Whirly heads down, walking on the slab, and I follow after some slight hesitation. I have some reservations about BEING ABLE TO BREATHE but decide NOT TO WORRY about it. I go through the Urumara/down into the deep water. By leaving her behind, I merge with Mouse.
On the bottom, Whirly has found the bucket wedged under a small computer table. I help him hold the table up so he can get it out. By doing this I merge with Whirly.
In the rest of this dream I wander alone, having already merged with members of my Soul Retinue, through large underwater rooms, with each room being the same as the last. There are three or more of these rooms. In each room I find a big BROWN wooden desk with COINS in a drawer and I scoop them up and put them in my pocket. I'm well aware that this is my house but can only WONDER how it came to be under the water. At times I WONDER how I'm able to breathe underwater, and at other times I start to panic, thinking I couldn't possibly HOLD MY BREATH any longer, then realize it's not necessary. At this point I'm aware of being happy that I did not panic.
At least three times I turn LEFT or RIGHT to go through the Urumara/door into another room the same as the last one, find more coins in a similar desk drawer, and steal them from myself. Also on each duplicate desk I find the same large copper coin with the word GUSTAVO on it. [My son's middle name. He's named after his uncle whose father Gustavo Sr. is 104 years old and still going strong.] This finding has special significance to me, I know it's in regards to my son, and each time I find it, I recall having just found it in the last room and thus get very close to Official Lucidity.
Finally I'm about to go through another Urumara/door into the next room. It's a plain BROWN door with a square window in the top half. I look down at the doorknob and see a KEY IN THE LOCK. I misinterpret this to mean that the door is locked. I remember who I am and wake up in the Dayly Dreame, remembering to Just Get Up, but too late.
[This dream was exquisitely lucid, detailed, visual, and I'm impressed with how calm I remained and how continuously my Attention held steady throughout. I was even impressed with this during the dream, indicating a high level of lucidity. The description is short because I had to wait three hours to write it down, but it was the last dream of the night and I woke up with an incredible amount of energy and decided to start transcribing my dream journal onto the computer daily now that I've caught up on the website with only six more finished chapters to get online.]
["Existence is a miracle. Don't get used to it." That pretty much sums it up.]
[Recalled an amazing experience I had sometime last night, I think only a few minutes after I went to bed. I was Noticing when I just fell right through the bed, like rolling out down and backwards, which woke me. I had a lot of interesting experiences while putting myself to sleep over and over last night but wanted to stay in the zone instead of getting up to write every one of them down.]
[Lying down for Awakenings. Transcribed dream journals all morning.]
[What Just Happened is pretty amazing but not sure how I landed on it. The session started almost two hours ago with immediate Awakenings every few minutes which went on a long time. I didn't get up to write anything down because kinda hot and I thought it might interfere too much. Must have gone to sleep at some point, since I'm not aware of being out for two hours, far from it. First AWK was seeing Annalou on a PINK bike and glad she's returned [she hasn't--she eloped].
[Memories start when] Cyrus and a somewhat older female companion come upstairs to where I am. Cyrus is standing with an impish smile, with his back to the bed where I was physically sleeping. He is shirtless and has long curly hair which draws my Attention. He seems too big. He says in Visayan, "Mangutana ko," which means, "I have a question." I reply, "Oh? Where is it? In your ear? In your other ear?" This scene fades or ends.
Then I was completely Officially Lucid and thought I was awake looking at images. Which I was, but I was totally in the Projection Room too, lucidly asleep, unworlded. I'm looking at black-and-white Screenshots on a screen smaller than my visual field. There's no plot, these are just images, and I'm aware of that. All the scenes are crisply focused, 100% spontaneous, and unexpected scenes of cars on a road. The only cars I actually remember are 1950s or earlier, very old cars, all black-and-white images, all the same road. Each scene lasts for seconds, then a LOUD MOVING HISS and a new scene appears. The screen itself seems to tip and tilt or else my body/point of view keeps tilting, anyway the experience is extremely physical unlike the Green Room where silent images appear with no sound effects or energy sensations. I'm having all kinds of movement sensations timed with the loud hissing which comes in spurts between screenshots. The scenes are moving, the cars are moving, but I don't hear them.
I start to wake up at one point but go back in, then I'm thinking these images are cool, but why does someone keep having to shoot a spray of water over the house, because that's what the hissing sounds like. Finally I become convinced that whoever keeps squirting the house with water has woken me up and I open my eyes, only to realize that the sounds I was hearing were totally unworlded aurages and energy sensations in the Projection Room proper. I had been totally lucid through the whole thing and careful to not move or think about my body as well as being quite aware that I didn't really know what to do next, literally afraid to try anything for fear of breaking the state, or maybe in truth afraid to take the next step because I recognized this as another huge milestone, and those just keep piling up. Having slept this afternoon I expect more awesome unworldings tonight and will use FILD again as it seems to be of unquestionable potency and not reliant on any placebo effect or belief system. This was a big deal. Sylvan M. of Phase Evolution has talked about this intermittent hissing in some of his direct exit videos.
[Wake up slow. Just Get Up. Just Get Up. Just Get Up.]
2018-01-18 12:45 am
Something about RC wanting to live with me.
[One of the longest and most lucid, detailed dreams I've ever had in terms of length, depth and height. I don't know about depth as I don't know what it means but once I've written down what little I can remember, the depth might reveal itself. For the most part the depth is in trying to Jog me out of the Fog. I'm cured of UTI so didn't have to get out of bed once an hour to pee and slept 4-1/2 hours straight, though I recall waking up once or twice and deciding to Chain in, but totally forgot to FILD.]
"I Flew Here!"
IN A BED where something unsatisfactory has just taken place--the feeling of being abandoned--Cwahacoy's boyfriend has left so she's gonna try and cheer me up. She has white blonde hair and seems good at what she's doing and aggressively happy to do it--[deleted] realistic but short.
The next scene was long and convoluted involving being kidnapped by some dudes--my Soul Retinue--and taken someplace in the back of a dark van at night. The Dream Usher appears as a scary big blond curly-haired guy dressed in a RED one-piece suit, crazed and cackling like a fiend. He has a small 1-3/4" diameter rotating saw blade/crown chakra/Vibes in a beanie on top of his head, which he turns on and waves in our faces. I don't remember who SC represents. I think he's trying to scare us, but then he uses the saw blade to quickly saw through all the hinges on the side door of the van or metal box we're locked into and then he slips a BLUE packet of plastic explosive into a receptacle at the top of the door and leans backward onto the door and detonates it. He is blown out the Urumara/door onto the City Sidewalk. He comes back to show us his face is covered with blood, but he's still cackling and grinning when he runs off into the night. I go through the Urumara/opening made by the explosion.
Entering a place where there's two or more large rooms connected by a large mostly open wall. Brightly lit swingers' party. At the division I see a guy standing with a very straight, tall woody, and women in underwear so I look forward to having some fun. I go through the Urumara/very large opening into the second room.
I'm outside walking up to a semi-open shed which I can see into. More like a tiny two-room cottage on the outside, but shed inside. The windows are openings (no glass) and inside the actor Mark W. is doing a sex scene and all I can see is his face through the outer window and the inner window of the inside room. The whole building is only ten feet by eight feet and the color of Cwahacoy--BLUISH GRAY.
Kiefer S. is in a dark room standing under some kind of magical glowing metallic golden device high in the ceiling above him, the same symbol--the golden device that was tattooed on Cwahacoy's turquoise fairy face a while back. [Chained Content--see RED LIGHT from last night's dream--same position.] This is the Projection Room--the bubble in the Nowhere. Very dark. He's saying about three times, "I FLEW here!! I FLEW here!" I don't get what he's going on about and interpret his strange enunciation or stress of the sentence to mean that he went through a lot to get here so I owe him something for his trouble. Which means he's trying to Jog me out of the Fog, but I miss the cue. I go through the Urumara.
I'm watching and trying to keep up but I'm more or less a point of awareness, no body awareness, as Kiefer is sliding in huge sweeps over the curved surface of a huge AIRLINER so big that I can only see a portion, I never see the whole plane. He is cackling--the Dream Usher--and making all kinds of weird, high-pitched noises. He comes to a small Urumara/window and pushes it open with his finger going Oooohh... and I can see he's found the pilot's bathroom and the pilot's medicine is right there, so he grabs a good sized bottle of large black capsules which rolls down the bright aluminum surface--the Nowhere--and I grab it and go through the Urumara.
I'm Limberluck with my Duffel Bag. I procure another bottle of the black pills and they're both in my bag. Details forgot, except I plan on getting off on the pills/going through the Urumara.
Walking on the City Sidewalk, daytime, a BRICK BUILDING to my RIGHT and an Urumara/chain-link FENCE blocking the way, beyond that is a school yard. Cwahacoy as River (see Library unworlding) is there on the other side wearing BLUE-GRAY sweat pants and tan tank top. Like last time when she was jogging she is skinny, the opposite of voluptuous, but not androgynous, she's feminine in a pixieish way. She tosses me the ball--first person perspective--Attention--over the Urumara fence and I toss it back. She bounces it off her chest and it goes off to her LEFT behind the corner of the brick building where I can't see it. She tosses me the ball again, chattering in FRENCH, and using hand signals and body language to indicate I should be throwing it to her OBLIQUELY INSTEAD OF FULL-ON, face-on, straight, which I do and she seems more satisfied.
[Many details forgot.]
8:30 to bed
[Something happened while practicing Vac-U-Move at first which I wasn't able to recall or describe even minutes later. Something good, don't know what. Maybe Unibody. Also a phantom wiggle of hand.
2018-01-19 12:01 am
Working for the Church Restaurant hoping someone will say we'll be open on xmas so I won't be home alone xmas but they won't say it. Finding hot sauce.
[Back to bed. FILD. Choline.]
"I Like This Place"
I'm driving my little VEHICLE through a beautiful rural area in America. It's a 3-wheel frame with no body, very small, just what I like. I am ecstatic. I am Limberluck. I'm going to the convenience store. At an intersection just before the End of the Road I turn LEFT onto a dirt road that goes to another intersection immediately and go through the Urumara.
I see the road is now going to take me to the Convenience Store if I go a little further. Inside I keep bumping into things as if I'm DIZZY. I go through the Urumara.
My female companion is Mouse and Cwahacoy merged, Hawkeye. She IDs as a combination of KK and RH but she's SC. Whirly appears as MR. FERGUSON from the movie Up, looks like Bulldog my neighbor. Wearing a WHITE T-Shirt. He points out that I'd be interested in something lodged in that newspaper rack right there. I doubt this very much as I don't know what he's talking about, but he finally triggers my CURIOSITY and I pick up one of four BLUE SPIRAL NOTEBOOKS/my dream journal and as soon as I look at the writing I see it's mine. They're all mine, old with pages missing, but it's my handwriting. I'm TRULY AMAZED. I look up and a young man is having his long light brown hair CURLED just a little only at the very tip, a very small curl. This is also me. The curl has some special attribute.
Hawkeye and I are having a picnic in the Nowhere/front lawn of the Convenience Store and I am overwhelmed with NOSTALGIA. I say, "I LOVE THIS PLACE." [This has long been on my Intent Agenda] while stroking the short grass where there's a small tree root making the surface bumpy. We're sitting in the sun. We talk about another place like this and decide we want to live in a place like this where you can sit on your front lawn and feel clean fresh air and sunshine and neighbors come over and sit and talk with you. I go through the Urumara.
I'm WALKING while I trim my beard with very small scissors. I find a MIRROR and see that my beard is very full and long. I am extremely lucid but not Officially Lucid. I WONDER HOW I GOT HERE and decide it was because of a man I met in an apartment in the City who gave me nice Attention and talked to me in a thoughtful, considerate way. This man wears a LONG COAT and IDs as the comedian Russell Brand. I WAKE SLOWLY in the Dayly Dreame in the Vibes hearing the Sounds. The Voice of Idiossification tells me to just go back to sleep but I disagree.
[One dream forgotten. Back to bed. Sniffing a little ball of muggons. Will do a new kind of FILD rolling a ball of muggons in my fingers right under my nose. It's in a thin/threadbare/open-weave handkerchief.]
[Wake up, lots of phantom wiggles of hands/arms, will dream later.]
[Just finished posting the last chapter on unworlding.com, took a bath, and will now lie down and get unworlded.]
[To bed. Made the kaleidoscope images all evening for website. I expect to see more in the Unworld tonight. Almost finished with the website. Focus is on instant relaxation. In a dream lie down, pretend to go to sleep, then Leap Up and teleport through the ceiling into the Library. Meet the Soul Retinue and merge with them all one by one. Just Get Up. Wake up slowly, get up Fastly, Just Get Uply.]
[Got up for a snack and to read Eliade re: shamanism.]
2018-01-20 12:30 am
[Wake up, slept a lot. Lots of breathing, little sleeping.]
[To bed. Kidney pain, leg pain again last night. Hard to relax/sleep/concentrate. HOT and PAIN in legs. Should get some exercise now, book is done after 2-1/2 years.]
[Lying down for Awakenings.]
[AWK2] "The easiest way to spill water in the Unworld is to try and help someone take a drink."
[AWK3] "There were reports upon crashing."
[To bed. The fear barrier explains the addiction to deep sleep. Breathing is my technique. It's working and it will continue to work.]
[Lie down in a dream and pretend to go to sleep. Then jump up and teleport through the ceiling into the Library. Meet all my Soul Retinue and merge with them one at a time. Become Whirly and interview Bob Neal.]
[Wake up slow, get up fast. Just Get Up.]
2018-01-21 3:00 am
...Sitting in a car with Mouse/SC in Eugene, daytime, we've been eating our lunch and now we want some dessert and can't decide where to go, so I say, doesn't this place (right in front of us) have some icky sweet rolls and she says yes, so we decide to go there. Then I remember I gave up sugar but it's too late. We drive to the place and I WONDER why we had to go this way when the place was right in front of us before. Upon getting out of the CAR we make a note of the fact that the tires are chalked and I WONDER why the tires are chalked since we just drove somewhere. I see all cars get chalked here, which includes cars parked in the Nowhere/LAWN of the Church. I WONDER why they've chalked on the window/Nowhere instead of the tire. I wake up with a cramp in my foot.
[Back to bed. Will meditate in bed sitting up, put water on face.]
[I'll record this as one series of Chained dreams since it started sometime in the night and continued till just now. It includes a waking portion where I briefly interacted with my family and this interaction carried through by Chaining into the series of dreams. I never looked at the clock or journal once and I only got up to pee once, leg pain was less intense due to going for a long walk yesterday. Used FILD when I remembered and had two intense sessions in the Green Room with which I attempted to interact but had a hard time finding something to interact with because the images, sharply defined as they were, spontaneously flashed from image to image so fast it made my head spin. I think when I did get them to slow down and expanded the speed into length and breadth I did join the scene but not with anything like Official Lucidity. However most of these dreams were relatively lucid or I wouldn't still remember them.]
"Twenty Seconds of Breathing In"
An image, dark, abstract, rows or something dangling, some crossed out. Attempting to tell the dream to myself to increase recall, I Chained in and the dream generated a more narrative version of what I was trying to relate which I don't remember.
As Limberluck on my bike I've managed to get wedged between two Urumara/CHAIN-LINK FENCES that are less than two feet apart. Lucidity increases when one of the Urumara/fences on my RIGHT becomes the back of a modular wooden cabinet in an office. It's relatively dark where I am wedged in with my bike, but over the Urumara in the office, it's light. The cabinet is just low enough that I can see over it and I ask the people inside--my Soul Retinue, including Whirly and others, if I can leave my sack lunch including a cheese sandwich on top of the cabinet and come back for it later. I have some work to do in the Office but first I have to go to the Library. I go through the Urumara when Whirly nods consent to leave my lunch there.
Returning from the front of the building around the side when I arrive at the parallel Chain Link Fence/Urumara on my RIGHT I remember leaving my bike in there, so I look carefully and see some children's or baby bikes in the way, more Urumara/obstacles, so I go through the Urumara.
[I got up to pee and was upset that T. and J. were in the big bed talking, afraid they were going to keep me from sleeping longer. I complained about the talking and went back to bed feeling guilty because they were having a fun time bonding and I wasted energy worrying that I'd ruined T.'s morning chat with his mama but forced myself to ignore the emotional excess so I could go back to sleep and dream more. This scene Chained directly into the next dream which took place--like a False Awakening--in the upstairs big room where we sleep. The big bed where they sleep is at the opposite end of the room from my dream bed.]
I'm IN MY BED [fulfilling an Intent Agenda] sobbing in self-pity at the horrible way people treat me. T. comes over to comfort me and I feel guilty. He gives me a lot of TP to wipe my tears and it had come off the roll in a discrete loop of many layers of TP about two feet diameter. I'm embarrassed at my behavior so I remove the wet portions of the tissue so no one will see. By rejecting the tears I go through the Urumara on the big bed where J. and T. sleep.
I'm dealing with a confusion of GUITARS [spent some quality time yesterday with a guitar instead of turning on the computer] in the same room, maybe the same dream or else Chained back to the same room. J. has a guitar and I set it edgewise on top of something and I hear a loud SNAP. I see I set it on top of my guitar--an electric--and it broke the smallest string--both sitting edgewise on a BED. [The guitar is the self as a mechanism of expression/communication/3ness. Also guitar string is a Personal Lucidity Object dating back to the personal archetype Stumped-No-More/the first known manifestation of Whirly. Guitar is also a Personal Lucidity Object.] I am very annoyed with myself that I broke my guitar string by my sloppiness and I'm sure I can't do anything right. I look outside/go through the Urumara.
The Architect is now inside with us and he needs a drawing--blueprint that he left here so I show him several sets of architectural drawings on the BED.
Looking at the drawings or looking for the specific drawing that the Architect needed must have sent me through the Urumara. This part is hazy but there was an encounter on the bed with Cwahacoy that left me emotionally unhinged once more. Lucidity increases when HER SISTER takes over and announces that her music is soft. She sits on the edge of the BED facing me holding another GUITAR which has a long strip of paper on it covering the top three strings--i.e. the LOWER FREQUENCY or bass notes i.e. the 2-3-4 is being muted/slimmed down. The paper is covered with PRETTY FAIRYLAND DESIGNS in pastel colors, mostly PURPLE and YELLOW. At first when she starts singing I am cynically comparing her to the muzak played at one of the restaurants I go to where the girl singing has a soft voice and it's all so moody and light and pretty, but it all sounds the same. But the music manages to tame me and send me through the Urumara. She tells me the name of her song is "Twenty Seconds Breathing In."
I'm outside in front of the house on an extended version of a front porch where the orangey-tan tiles of the Dayly Dreame are represented as fallen golden leaves. Mouse is there as a small, serious policewoman with Asian features and short black hair. She's scouring the ground with her eyes. I am Limberluck. I ask her what she's looking for and she says, "Anything. Anything at all." I tell her to go ahead and look, deciding I'm NOT WORRIED ABOUT IT, she can look anywhere since I have nothing to hide. [Wake up in Vibes in the Green Room, watch images for a while.]
[Suction of Sleep? Vibes? Constipated? Lying down.]
[AWK1] I say something about people who are three times better than others at unworlding and someone responds.
[Lying down for Awakenings.]
[AWK] Woke up by cat. Went to sleep, looking at the four corners of the visual field/screen.
[Wrote about techniques I turned into the Echo chapter.]
[Can't concentrate because hungry. Will eat crackers and butter.]
[Back to bed.]
[AWK] Lots of ants. Woke from full sleep with sudden start. Back to bed.]
I forgot to hide the VACUUM CLEANER HOSE and left it dangling in the desk or the floor. The bad guys found it and whacked it to pieces. I'll grab a piece of it and whip them with it. "It's my fault. It's my fault. I can't believe I was so stupid."
[Back to bed. JUST GET UP.]
2018-01-22 12:30 am
I'm getting ready to cut a strip of [illegible] so I can fill a gap with it UNDER THE BED FRAME.
Someone wearing PURPLE says he's afraid of something.
[Back to bed. Meditate/choline/FILD/breathing.]
[Choline; will type dream journal while recording JB's third eye beats.]
[Lying down JB 3rd eye beat Echo exercise Muggons Choline 2 hours ago more choline now.]
[Lying down to merge the abilities of all seven dream bodies simultaneously.]
[Awesome session many phantom wiggles, AWKs.]
[AWK1] Awoken by something grabbing me by the right heel and shaking my foot back and forth.
[AWK2] Same as last, AWK but left foot.
[AWK3] Same thing again. Right foot.
[AWK4] Looking at this house from the outside from a distance, dark, but light inside and I see someone inside the house walking around.
[Many more, mostly forgotten. Got up to pee so lost the last ten minutes because of leg pain after lying down again.]
[Drum waterfall sounds will try to go to sleep. Muggons.]
[Turning off sounds. Back to bed. Couldn't sleep, too much pain.]
[To bed, took choline about 8:30.]
[Legs hurt, got out of bed, took two celocoxib. Have started doing touch-the-ground-with-the-palms exercise, Qigong for kidneys.]
[Because of pain it's hard to stay asleep but the effects of choline are obvious whenever I do manage to drift off.]
DR and I live at his parents house and sleep on opposite ends of a long closet/Tunnel on the covered front porch. He is so old that he's starting to talk to himself LYING IN BED. Grandpa is the same old way but might start to fail when Grandma is taken away. Her hair is all frizzy. [The lucidity level was very high--felt like a False Awakening.]
Something about me wearing nice clothes with my heavy gray sweatshirt on top.
Decided to move to Greece despite doubts since I have no income and don't know the language etc. Leaving my rock collection with T. and drag the box out--small box--telling him to wrap the ROSE QUARTZ crystals in cloth but I see they're already wrapped in newspaper so never mind. The other things I have doubts about is bringing Max I but I already did it so too late to change my mind. I'll have to take my chances and let him run loose, when freedom kills him then he will just end. We're on a road/Tunnel that IDs as the road from West Glen to Glenwood; walking. He spots another white dog with long hair, like himself but bigger and a different breed. They're nose to nose and Max offers him a piece of bamboo to play with.
In the Little Wooden House being used as a breakfast place, a man and a woman are cooking me some eggs. She's angry because someone took her spoon. I'm sitting in the WHITE plastic school desk chair we have at home.
I have a False Awakening thinking I've peed all over myself, go in the house disgusted and angry and embarrassed because J. and T. watch me pull my clothes off, wet shirt and boxers, WHITE pullover shirt, new agey and thick quilted, throw on floor. Then I [wake up in the Dayly Dreame, happy I didn't really pee on myself.]
[Most of the pain is gone. I know what the problem is now. Lack of dreams despite lots of choline is due to leg pain hurting my concentration and also due to not writing dreams in the night and not meditating at 3 a.m. MANY intense phantom wiggles, too many to remember. Good experience but no interest in repeating it very often, prefer a clear head to choline-forced experience.]
[Got sleepy reading, still hear the sounds due to being half-unworlded from choline will lie down for a quick Awakening session then gardening then eat.]
[Nice session several AWKs. When I awoke, the Beanpole version of Echo came as a ROTE, see chapter.]
[Lying down to do my first dry run of Echo Beanpole. Will get up soon to finish the Echo chapter while I drink a cup of muggons tea.]
2018-01-24 2:30 am
[J. sick, moaning all night, kept me from sleeping much and my left leg hurts bad. Dreams recorded later, times not known.]
(False Awakening) J.--looks kinda like my mom but younger--wearing a long white bathrobe walking around acting sick. I say, "You have to talk to me!" but she won't.
The Suburbs, flat, dull, one-story houses. My Soul Retinue IDs as Mama and Mark I have my DUFFEL BAG but want to hang it from my belt loop and it's not working out. I say I need a nice small bag to put just a few things in like my tobacco. A small nylon bag.
Something happened next door, the police have been showing up one car at a time and going down a long driveway to what I assume is the Community Entertainment Center.
"It's All Been Demolished"
Cwahacoy/Alexa (doesn't look like Alexa--midget) is leaving to be with a guy she knows from work. I deal with it/go through the Urumara.
Russell B. is looking at some indoor house plants because he needs some poison ivy. I say, "That's not poison ivy," and take him outside/through the Urumara--it's night--to find him some. We go from yard to yard but I CAN'T REMEMBER what it looks like.
Heading katty-corner at a dark intersection/Urumara to THE PLACE I REMEMBER, but it's been razed, nothing left but a few ruins and a hole a block long. I say, "It's all been demolished."
2018-01-27 3:35 pm
[last dream] Something about a big dog looking for a big RED JEWEL in my crotch/twoness chakra.
"OK Let's Go"
At an indoor/somewhat darkish baseball stadium I have to get past the Dream Usher/umpire at corner base without disturbing the game. I do this semi-consciously and it increases my lucidity so I turn around and go back, this time giving the umpire/Dream Usher eye contact and he nods approval as I go past him. With vision now activated I Notice the game is over and everybody's gone, so I go through another Urumara.
Someone decided to use my typewriter while I was gone, a young man with dark hair. I decide this is OK and I think I should make it available all the time so people wouldn't ask to USE MY COMPUTER. [I've been cutting back on computer time drastically.] I walk away since I've decided not to confront him, then realize he's sitting in a hot window in the direct sunlight so I ask him to pull the cord to let the VENETIAN BLINDS down. As he does so, he LOOKS AT ME and makes a hissing sound to Jog my Fog but it doesn't work. I start to leave and turn around once more to see he's started to make POP corn. I decide that's OK too. [These are energy sensations/Sounds hosted by the Dream Usher--typing/hissing/popping.] The rest of the room is occupied by my vaguely Noticed Soul Retinue sitting around in chairs in a large oval.
I go through the Urumara into the other part of the room deciding I should be friendly to J.'s guests/my Soul Retinue. I clumsily say, "So you're J.'s cousin," to a tall woman with shortish dark red hair/Mouse. A little girl/Mouse/Smudgely/Square Girl squirts with a squirt gun. I think how cute, then see she's squirting my big antique upright PIANO and I say in a LOUD VOICE about three times, "Not the piano! Not the piano! Not the piano!" Elder Mouse says, "OK, let's go," as I've obviously failed too many lucidity tests and I wake up in the Dayly Dreame.
[To bed, will do a Noticing session and merge into the Unworld.]
[distance/0 = time travel]
2018-01-28 12:01 am
"Got a Place with KK..." (So called because I got that much of the journal written before I realized I was asleep in bed still.)
Got a place with KK and I'm in my room, daytime, writing when a female acquaintance from work shows up with her boyfriend. I recall very recently seeing her at work at the LIBRARY. Mousy brown hair and light freckles, straight hair to shoulders, friendly in a serious way, this is Cwahacoy merged with Mouse = Hawkeye. I put down what I'm doing and go find them outside calling me. This is the City Suburbs. I go through the Urumara and stand on the front porch looking for them. Her name is VERA and I imagine greeting her by name.
Her boyfriend is Stephen, big, tall and curly blond hair, name unknown. At first we sit on our knees and elbows on a bed--all well lit--and I NOTICE that Vera's body is touching mine on the RIGHT. She's nice, but I don't let my imagination get out of control because Stephen is there. I go through the Urumara by passing the Appetite Test.
We're sitting on the living room floor, me and Stephen, beigish-gray rug/the Nowhere, looking at MAPS in the phone book because they're telling me where they live and their business address and stuff. The maps identify a street called LINDEN and one call Linden Cliff which I think is their address, but then looking at their ad in the YELLOW pages, I don't see the name so I get CONFUSED AND WONDER WHAT I was THINKING. I realize LINDEN is my address. The conversation about the street name is at a lull so I dispel nervous self-consciousness by flipping around the Yellow Pages and say, "Let's see what else we can find here... to get us in trouble." I go through the Urumara by passing the EXACT WORDS TEST.
The four of us are in the living room and I mention I have no income--I am now Limberluck--and KK says I could get a job pushing vacuum cleaners around. I say, "I HATE pushing VACUUM cleaners around--all that fine dust." I say I'd rather wash dishes.
There's a huge THUNDERSTORM outside the bare dirt yard which is separated from the house by a short concrete curb then STEP DOWN/go through the Urumara to house level. This area is filling up with water quick. I get very EXCITED and animated while part of me knows we're about to be flooded by muddy water. I'm like, Yippee, look at all that water, and it's headed this way. We're standing at the front of the house which is all glass/the Nowhere and I'm extremely lucid although not Officially Lucid.
The guests like Max and Lila. I start out to tell the whole story of how Max was homeless, smelled very bad, and his hair was this long--"about 12 inches"--all matted up so we got him a haircut and washed him. WE DECIDE TO TAKE A NAP and I'm using Max/Smudgely for a pillow and SURPRISED that my digging my chin into his ribs doesn't bother him because I'm lying on my stomach. I Notice something about his size but not sure what it is--he's too small so I decide it's Lila even though he's white like Max. As I drop off I am woken twice then say, "Stop putting your hair in my mouth," and [wake in the Vibes in the Dayly Dreame, i.e. semi-lucid but totally forgetting to Just Get up. This is the closest I've come to pretending to go to sleep in an Unworlding Lesson/dream, then jump up and fly through the ceiling into the Library.]
[Back to bed. choline. My new muggons mask is very potent--fresh--the old one was not fresh and half the size. My new FILD is using the smell of muggons to Chain instead of FILD though I might use both.]
No place to hang a towel. White Nowhere. Listing screw sizes on small cardboard box.
[Choline #2. Back to bed. FILD.]
[AWK] Huge phantom wiggle of RIGHT forearm--thought it was a JERK but not possible.
I've moved in with the Dream Usher who I mistake for David Rhaes, the apartment has a rectangular living room lined with chairs around its outer edge since it's really a meeting room for my Soul Retinue. Some of the chairs are benches 30 inches long by one foot wide covered with a little padding and a RED plastic covering. The benches are broken down which I don't Notice till Mouse shows up as a tiny shriveled-up but quite capable little old lady who sets about replacing the broken benches and repairing them. They're made with a huge nail or spike about 8 inches long going down into the leg framework somehow.
David says something and I can't hear it so I say, "Huh?" and this happens three or four times till I put my head up next to his mouth and he whispers, something about MEMORIES OF THE PAST.
I sense that he's referring to illicit activities that he doesn't want the old woman to know about so that's why he's whispering.
I go into my room and do some things, find another broken-down bench and bring it out but there's no room for any more good ones and Mouse is leaving anyway, so I figure David can just burn this one.
I'm looking at three big air conditioning units and I tell David that the one next to the wall behind another one is really a heater. I WONDER if it's really a good idea to live here because these heater and aircons are going to be expensive to use.
Sitting in the living room, Jim Rhaes Jr. has now shown up and I realize I can't tell the two bros apart. The one who's sitting where David was laughs hysterically and looks just like Jim.
"I Am the Happiest Person in the Whole World"
I am Limberluck. I'm WALKING along a street/through the Tunnel in a residential neighborhood just outside of downtown Nevada City. To the RIGHT I pass two or three snowy streets till I come to a street nearly blocked with snow piled up into big mounds 12-15 feet high. This is exactly what I've been needing: an adventure. Something different. I go through the Urumara by turning RIGHT.
I'm up on the huge snowbank in the middle of the street and there are some children to my RIGHT playing in their yard. I see two possible places where I could SLIDE down the snow, very steep but there's more snow at the bottom so I probably wouldn't get hurt. I climb up on one high part of the snow bank and I LIE DOWN ON MY STOMACH, my face in the snow, and break into convulsive sobs of ecstasy. I decide to control this outburst and stop sobbing.
To the LEFT is the Dream Usher as a young brown man with short hair and two young brown women dressed alike, TWO-TONE SMUDGELY BROWN uniforms, dark brown slacks and light brown shirts--Nitpicker and Potwatcher. I have a snowball in my RIGHT HAND, still LYING on my stomach on top of the snow bank/the Nowhere which is in a small parking lot/the Nowhere in front of a one-story government building to the RIGHT. I consider throwing the snowball so it lands near the trio, because it would be funny to see their reaction, but the urge passes. I like the feel of the snowball in my HAND. The Dream Usher is a GUIDE of some kind and he's coaching the two women about going to the building. The smaller of the two is afraid but the larger is not, she agrees to be the one and I watch the bottom of her big-heel shoes as she walks away. I go through the Urumara.
Inside the building I enter a small bright office and take the last chair, a stool behind the desk facing the door/the Urumara. There are two other chairs occupied by members of my Soul Retinue who are SC. Cwahacoy appears and since there are no more chairs she climbs without hesitation up on my lap and holds herself partially up from a reclining position by putting her arms around me somehow. This is Cwahacoy/Smudgely. She has short straight brown hair, white skin, and the same TWO-TONE BROWN uniform as the two brown girls seen earlier. She is the most friendly person I've ever met and I am in ecstasy. She says something and I reply, "I am the happiest person in the world." She asks why and I say, "Because some places there is no snow, because it's too hot." I'm aware of the age in my voice and the change in my enunciation due to having false teeth. I see that the room has filled up with young women in the same uniform who have sat down on the floor because there are no chairs. They're all looking at me. [J. wakes me up coming upstairs.]
[To bed for Noticing/Awakening. Suction of Sleep. Headache, woken by J. shouting.]
[AWK2] Putting a big nail through the palm of my HAND. Seems like it should stop hurting soon.
[Meditation with hornets in garden.]
[Why I want to get unworlded. I feel that the earthville reality is a tiny, minuscule fraction of the infinitude of experience that can be had. I'm tired of reading about these experiences and I want to write about them and know about them first hand. I can't imagine that unworlding is just some off-the-wall random offshoot of the bigger picture. I am curious and I want to feed the curiosity with more and more experience, not second hand, but first hand, more real than real experiences. I am sure that the deeper I explore the Unworld, the more curious I will get and the more I will find. I turn my unworlding education over to my Uppers--you know who you are--and trust that the pace will continue fittingly according to my needs and desires with all balance and due consideration for all parts of me. Let's have at it, I am ready.]
[Lying down in physical bed. I will lie down in a dream later on tonight and pretend to go to sleep, then leap up and fly through the ceiling into the Library where I will meet with my Soul Retinue and merge with them one by one.]
[Will start by practicing Echo with emphasis on triggering hand motions a la FILD and Noticing the Tunnel as I go through it as well as seeing the colors that correspond to my dream bodies.]
[I will meditate outside on the terrace at 3 a.m. If raining will do it inside. Not lying down.]
2018-01-29 2:15 am
At a GAS STATION owned by Mouse--a stout, noisy old woman who's asleep--I have a QUESTION that can't wait so I turn on a certain LIGHT that brings the place to life. It had been the wee hours but with my willingness to turn on the light, that is forgotten and the rest takes place in daylight with people around.
My question pertains to an abstract point in regards to the purchase of a motorcycle kit of some kind involving a rebuild or special build and since no prices are posted I have to ask a special calculation if needed which the old woman does in her head quickly with the help of a pencil and a wall which she uses as scratch paper. A large part of the result has to do with how many sheets of coarse sandpaper to buy and how much that will cost, but this turns out to be a petty amount so I WONDER why I bothered. Someone is instructed to get the motorcycle over here that I'm interested in. I see one stout-looking motorcycle being walked across the front of the place that's painted MAROON.
Somehow the topic changes to expertise at THROAT SINGING/OVERTONE WHISTLING which I'm eager to demonstrate. This goes on for a while as I try to copy the overtone chanting that's being piped over the LOUDSPEAKERS. I wake up forgetting to Just Get Up. [Remember to lie down in dream, pretend to go to sleep, Just Get Up. Jump through ceiling into Library.]
[Meditation outside on the terrace.]
[Back to bed. Choline x2 at 3 a.m.]
"Look at This Friggin' Mansion"
I'm LYING DOWN as per Intent Agenda in one of two or three small beds, cots or sleeping platforms in a back room, bright and white. I kinda feel funny about it because I'm sleeping in the daytime. A businesslike man in a short blondish beard/the Dream Usher does something for me what he didn't have to do involving sacrifice on his part so I feel a little obligated to RISE AND SHINE AND GET WITH THE PROGRAM. Other activities in the Tunnel/narrow long white room are forgotten until Judy Cof/Mouse from the Postal Center days shows up wanting me to work for her. Very tall and blonde getting blonder each time I see her which seems ODD. I grudgingly agree to work for her later in the afternoon, but not before 2 p.m. and only if my mom is there. I don't know how she comes off assuming that I even want the job. She shows me a long, narrow bit of paperwork I'd done for her and marked it "sample". The bottom section of the form states a percentage and she's pointing out that the % is wrong but I'm reiterating that I marked it sample, it's not a real case, just a sample, so not supposed to be right. She retreats and later I see her sitting on the floor with white blonde hair and next to her is the DOOR OUT OF THE ROOM i.e. she's showing me the Urumara. Someone comes in and the open door now hides her from view. I go through the Urumara.
The big house--this house but richer and more ornate with dark wood paneling--is abuzz with activity. The Dream Usher has split off into Nitpicker and Potwatcher who are quietly and efficiently getting a lot of work done while providing me with delicious fried biscuits where I sit at a nice DARK-STAINED WOOD dining room table. I look around at the place and feel funny for sleeping and eating while everyone else works, and I say with a sense of guilt, "This place is a friggin' mansion" not Noticing the Fogjogger. More fried bread is provided and I say, "I can only eat so much." A very old woman/Mouse appears with her lady friends and all kinds of sweet pastries and I change my mind and continue eating, especially the blonde cake with LIME GREEN lines of syrupy sweet stuff running through it. The cake pieces are sliced in half horizontally and when I pick up another one the top half falls and lands upside down on the back of my RIGHT HAND/FILD, and I Notice the GREEN lines sticking to my skin a little.
Nitpicker and Potwatcher are really going to town getting the place ready to live in. Apparently this is a work project day and everybody is here to help us get this old house up to speed. It has been let go a long time [i.e. I just started meditating again] and they're using a huge vacuum machine that has to be pushed by one of them and pulled by the other--looks like an over-sized lawn mower--to suck dust from deep in the old gold shag carpet. Then they flop the carpet over and sweep and mop the beautiful DARK WOOD floor underneath. I am really gonna like living in this house now.
Back in the back of the house I see T. has been playing frogman wearing a wet suit but has GONE TO SLEEP in a shallow flat trough built into the corridor/Tunnel floor with short concrete edges to keep water in, and an open drain hole. A hose is running water into the trough so it's a good thing the drain hole is open because T. is LYING DOWN on his back in a place where he could have drowned otherwise. I wake him up and get him out of the wet suit. We go through the Urumara.
In the living room we're sitting on the couch with T. to my RIGHT and a bunch of strange characters are appearing in the other chairs around the room. This is my Soul Retinue of course but I don't recognize them. Nitpicker and Potwatcher on my RIGHT are acting goofy in a scary way so I look to my LEFT instead and see Cwahacoy with her face painted TURQUOISE as I say something like You must be a traveling circus show or something to that effect. I assume these scary young people are rebellious and dangerous and consider me a stodgy old fool who needs a kick in the pants to make him WAKE UP. The turquoise-faced woman who is not attractive to me because I am afraid of Nitpicker and Potwatcher and the Dream Usher says they're artists of some kind and I repeat, "Artistes" with emphasis on the special pronunciation to try and communicate lightheartedness on my part but I'm not too optimistic that I'll be accepted as cool.
Mouse approaches me as a coarse, unattractive 40ish woman with coarse thick blonde hair, a navy BLUE sweatshirt and huge breasts. She leans over and pushes her big breasts against me which I find somewhat crude and embarrassing. I hold her breast in my hand more or less to keep it off me and to express mild repulsion. She leaves and is replaced by the slender young brown-haired Cwahacoy [from LAST NIGHT'S DREAM] who I ignore at first, When she plops down on the sofa to my LEFT, but she's just aggressive/intrusive enough to MAKE ME NOTICE HER and when I do, I am stunningly attracted immediately. She's slumping down playfully in the couch and I start feeling her nipples through her shirt. She says she has some rubbers out in the car and asks if I want her to go get them. I tell T. to GO TO SLEEP in the back part of the house and I tell Cwahacoy, just let me go scope out where my wife is first. I'm aware I will be cheating on my wife and everybody knows it but I can't control myself or don't want to. I go through the Urumara.
I'm going down the side of the huge country house and get to the back where I see my cottage--the Little Wooden Cabin--about 50 feet behind the main house separated by a muddy road. It's overcast. The cottage is at the edge of a pine forest. It's the intended trysting place but I see J. is working outside near the cabin so my plans have fallen through [and I wake up in the Dayly Dreame due to J. getting out of her bed noisily.]
[Lying down to go through the Tunnel FILD UNIBODY!!!]
Upstairs here with T. he hands me some cards and I figure I'll teach him how to play a real card game like gin rummy. I say his name to get his Attention, he says What, and then I see these are some special game cards and he has the instructions for the game in his HANDS. So instead of offering to show him a game I know, I ask if there's a game he has in mind that he wants to play. Details go dark for a bit, then I become more lucid. I tell him it will start to cool down soon because right now it's terribly hot upstairs [true--sweaty.]
Sitting next to the Urumara/opening leading down the stairs where we're sitting including Soul Retinue. My awareness becomes very focused. When I sing the Gaelic Power/Donovan song lyrics "Tiree tiraloo tiraloo i ay" from "Celtic Rock". But my singing is just then interrupted by the appearance of a niece at the bottom of the stairs with a somber countenance sent by J. to try and get somebody to take their bitter medicine. I'm in an ecstatic mood and will not go to her to find out what she wants so I tell her to come up the stairs and she does/I merge with Mouse. As Mouse I go through the Urumara.
She and I and the others are now all standing on the top few stairs and I can't figure out which of J.'s nieces this is--of course it's none of them--it's Mouse--she's too serious. Turns out the medicine is for Mika, when did she show up?? She's too tall but I barely Notice. The cup of PINK liquid is in her HAND but she spills it on the stairs.
[This Unworlding Lesson came about after a series of fast deep plunges toward the borderline of sleep which involved repetitively experiencing sudden onset of Unibody which is something that happens routinely and is routinely not Noticed. But sleep generally happens seconds later so that's a good landmark to learn to watch for. The key is to Notice it as What Just Happened and then to PRETEND to ignore it.]
[Meditation with hornets in garden. Went out and got bit by 4 or 5 red ants immediately. Never mind meditating with hornets, will try the outside CR, nice and shady and private, but fresh air.]
[To bed as Limberluck, will get unworlded now. Pretend to sleep, get up and fly through the ceiling. Into the Library to meet my Soul Retinue. Upon remembering who I am, take three deep breaths and tell myself, "I CAN STAY UNWORLDED AS LONG AS I LIKE."]
2018-01-30 1:50 am
[No dreams recalled except an act of finding a vertical page holder in a dark or dusty place and getting the page cleared off to read. A music stand? But fancy.]
[Meditation outside on terrace. Sleepy.]
[Back to bed propped up by pillows, sitting up. Lie down in a dream and pretend to go to sleep, then jump up and fly through the ceiling into the Library. Meet my Soul Retinue and merge with them one by one.]
[No dream recalled: THAT'S IT FOR CHOLINE. No more chances. I don't like to have my momentum destroyed by chemicals. We don't need pills to make us dream. Why would I STOP remembering dreams on the same day that I START meditating twice a day???]
[I'm going into the Tunnel right now.]
2018-01-31 1:40 am
Rehearsing for a funeral myself, a small male cohort and between us a tall young woman who teaches us to chant a certain way so the three of us harmonize as we walk into the church down a path through the grassy field/the Nowhere turning RIGHT and going in through the Urumara.
Outside people are forming rows and a tall young woman with long dress and long black hair needs help, because she's blind and doesn't know where to stand, so I imagine going up to help her get in position while saying, "Hi, I'm Luther, Breeze's friend."
"I'm In My Father's House"
Back in the Postal Center after much time away, Mr. Murray's not in a very happy mood. A woman is working there who doesn't seem very bright, at least not his type of chipper, bright-eyed employee. Out in the lobby are some cubbies built into the wall. They're full of deep semi-solidified gray dust which I'd like to take out with a putty knife, but it seems to be a collection of sorts. In one a tube of silver silicone seal has been left open, so I put the cap back on. Back behind the counter I see Mr. Murray's left a package of paper open on the floor and I squat down to see if I can help, but don't know what to do. The woman says something but I tell her I don't know how to respond because I've been away a long time.
THE PHONE RINGS AND I PICK IT UP and a young woman says, "I'm in my father's house," and I tell her to go ahead so she starts singing Jesus music with her friends but I can see them waving their arms and stuff as if they were right there in the Postal Center, but behind a series of tall glass partitions/the Nowhere. I had thought it was Mr. Murray's daughter calling from Mr. Murray's house, but realizing I've been duped I tell her No Thanks Not Today and hang up. Mr. Murray asks what that was all about and I tell him.
[After the Postal Center dream I stayed in bed and Chained back to the Postal Center.]
A clean-cut middle-aged black man somewhat taller than me--the Dream Usher--is well known to me but has done something I don't appreciate or vice versa and one or both of us are extremely insulted and ready to go at it verbally or physically. He has threatened never to speak to me again and/or stabbed me with a pencil or threatened to or vice versa. [Maybe I was experiencing this from both our points of view since I can't remember who was doing what.] I'm not impressed by his squeaky-clean image and inform him that his threat to never speak to me again is childish and I threaten to never speak to him again because he's being so childish.
Mr. Murray/SC is standing behind him in a brightly-lit doorway slightly raised up one or two steps.
I back up a stairway to my LEFT after making my final pronouncements/go through the Urumara.
I'm in a FAMILIAR place, a long narrow room/the Tunnel. The whole LEFT wall is GLASS/the Nowhere. I object to the lack of privacy as there's a lot of activity on the other side of the glass---which is the back room or store room of the Restaurant. I mentally make plans to cover the glass with pictures to make a mosaic of the whole thing with the pictures overlapping so no one can see me at all.
In a brightly-lit large room, Mrs. Murray is sitting in a chair, looking at one of my SPIRAL NOTEBOOKS/dream journal. The page is covered with penciled words scrawled every which way. She starts erasing a few of them and I flip out, tell her not to erase anything. she points out the word URUMARA and wants to know what it means. She is Mouse. I try to explain but can't. Mr. Murray says, "I don't know what's wrong with you, Scott."
[Reconstructed the best I can some of it might be in the wrong order. This Unworlding Lesson is about--amongst other things--my having run out of "load" again yesterday--no more internet for ten days. Hard to take. My life revolves around the internet. Will try to get some dream journals transcribed in the next ten days and spend more time at the farm hopefully. Have been getting caught up on weed whacking in the home garden. Have started reading a sci-fi novel. Taken up meditating again. Not having unlimited internet has drastically altered my life. Remember way back when I worked at the Postal Center for a time I was having lucid dreams with steadily increasing regularity. No computer no internet no nothing, just me living alone, and few good books on the topic either. Time to drop this computer compulsion. I don't want to die with a mouse in my hand. All the sitting is killing me.]
Meeting some guys on a road/track through the jungle, I see they've just walked through a grassy area, tall grass about ten feet long/the Nowhere. When I get to the tall grass, I vault through it using my walking stick as a vaulting pole. Vaguely aware of it being "not real but a dream". Very vaguely; it made no impression.
[Suction of Sleep. Lying down for AWK, get unworlded now. Lie down in dream, pretend to sleep. Jump up, Fly thru ceiling into Library, Merge With All Soul Partners. "I can stay out as long as I want."]
[AWK1] "Why do you always wanna make an exception?"
[AWK2] I had gone into the Tunnel by first putting up a vertical screen and then extending two perspective lines from the lower corners of the screen to the center of the visual field. A Tunnel opening appeared at the place where the two lines met and I put spiral lines on it going inside and watched it start to move. As the end of the Tunnel--essentially where the two lines meet--moves around, it is the Tunnel curving which is in turn me moving through the Tunnel. Went to sleep at this point. When I woke up I viewed the Tunnel with exceptional clarity and was shown a small dark image of an abstract nature and a back wall behind it, i.e. the depth dimension. As soon as I widened my perspective to panoramic/Metsuke I started to see a floor made of black-and-white checkerboard squares, i.e. even better fleshed-out depth marked right into the floor. I moved over the checker-patterned floor above the object on the floor, past it and down a Tunnel with a checkered floor back to the physical when my left eye opened and let in too much light.
[Back to bed.]
[Not aware of being asleep or awake.]
[To bed. Tunnel to toon town.]
[Wanted to record my bedtime Vac-U-Move session which lasted from 4:45 to about 9 p.m. It was probably the best Vac-U-Move session I've ever had.]
[Started with an intense series of Buzz Breaths that kick-started me in nice strong vibrations. I won't be able to put the rest in any order but it doesn't matter. These AWKs pretty much all happened whenever I went into that state of Suspended Attention where the Attention is held up by the Uppers, but ignored by the 2-3-4. I think this is Focus 10 or MABA and it occurs in short episodes that come and go during a session. It happens when you allow the 2-3-4 to be distracted into a wordless, thoughtless revery and NOT when the 2-3-4 is trying to monitor progress!! This is the state I was in for all of my WILD experiences. As per my own terminology, I'd have to call it Beyond Noticing vs. Spontaneous Noticing since it takes me by surprise.]
[AWK] In Suspended Attention I feel myself spontaneously shoot forward into a BRIGHT DARK BLUE oblong blob of light and reflexively slam on the brakes. This was more than a phantom wiggle, it was a near exit.
[AWK] In Spontaneous Noticing I see a scene of Suspended Attention as a sort of many-legged spidery being, huge with fine filaments for legs, not jointed like a spider's legs, but flowingly flexible. At the apex or body where all these 40-50 legs meet is a hollow dome or cap like a mushroom cap, but very thin, it floats as if pushed up by vertical WIND so it moves around constantly and dances non-stop with the many flexible legs keeping it gracefully suspended at all times. As I watched it, it grew a sort of eyeball under the dome-cap looking straight down and this eventually weighted it down, giving it gravity and grounding it.
[AWK] In Suspended Attention I felt my right thumb touch my thigh but it was a very very weird sensation because my thumb felt it, my thigh felt it, but it was as if the thumb and the thigh were connected to two different people and I experienced the thumb touching the thigh and the thigh being touched by the thumb as if it was two separate experiences and I was both people simultaneously. This was not subtle, it was shocking.
[AWK] A most intense phantom wiggle just seconds after I'd asked myself if I was still in an altered state. I drifted from that overly-vigilant state into Suspended Attention and in front of me was a child's study desk. My phantom hand shot forward and poked an object such as a pencil case or something into the cubby shelf under the desktop. I popped back into the vigilant condition. I admitted that I was obviously still in an altered state.
[AWK] Visioneering taking off from forced Noticing into a desert landscape where I flew to a mountain and landed at an outcropping of the most beautiful rose quartz imaginable. Solid gem quality chunks of hard, flawless, translucent PINK stone the size of my fist. Realistic enough to make me emotional.
[AWK] In Suspended Attention I'm at a totally realistic CLIFF'S EDGE/the Urumara, hard gray granite, way up above a long drop, and I feel two solid waves of butterflies in my stomach which took me out of Suspended Attention back to the vigilant state in which I realized I had missed my chance to move into a 3D Image lucidly.
[AWK] In suspended Attention another dream body pours something into my right calf and it starts vibrating like crazy.
[AWK] In suspended Attention I realize three child-sized beings have been sitting to my left in a row, quietly unobserved, for seconds at least.
[AWK] In Suspended Attention a being intrudes on my space to my left and slightly behind me.
[I think that's all there was except some pretty ornate Noticings which were unrememberable and/or indescribable. Focus now is Noticing the depth dimension, i.e. images in front and behind each other, which pulls the Attention into the scene and that seems to cause the scene to spontaneously blossom with detail and definition. For me, this seems to work best if I have a frame with four corners in front of me facing me, and then I project lines from the corners to meet in the middle somewhere, then expand the intersection into a square or round opening and move my head imperceptibly in a circle which draws a spiral on the central circle or opening/Tunnel entrance. The Attention flits around BUT instead of struggling to hold the opening or spiral in one place, let it float around as it naturally does, and feel its distance, it extends into the far visible end of a Tunnel and the wobbly motion of the Attention defines a curve in the Tunnel beyond which I can't see. Continuing this creates a sensation of moving into the Tunnel.]"
[I have now experienced Focus 10 for myself solidly and I now know what it is by my own experience. The many-legged creature or energetic structure is perfect. The huge ultra-thin mushroom cap dome tries to float away with the invisible force of the Uppers pulling up on it--it's a wind sail like a hot air balloon and the pixie dust of evaporated daily stress in the air pushes it upward gently while the flexible slender-thread legs anchor it to the conscious mind [the ground], so the Remote Mind and the conscious mind both get to share the experience due to Metsuke. This is the perfect picture of the dynamic tension between the Uppers and the 2-3-4 which the Dream Usher has to balance against each other in Suspended Attention.]
When I tried to go to sleep after recording the nine Awakenings, I was too excited. (When that last simple sentence wrote itself, I became emotional. Jeepers, maybe I do have food poisoning!) Anyway, I quickly gave up trying to sleep and became totally and unself-consciously engrossed in mentally pumping out Professor U. d'Guru skits until I couldn't stop laughing and got out of bed to meditate again and then settled myself with some crackers and cheese. (Why do I keep getting ecstatically emotional while I write this two days later? Kundalini rising, not food poisoning. I'm starting to vibrate again... Let's just say this unworlding stuff might have its mechanical elements, but at its core it is deep, primal stuff. The core of unworlding is the core of me. Hey, I just realized that the Remote Mind has four members and the conscious mind only has three... Idiocy is outnumbered! There's hope after all! Anyway, the conscious mind might have gravity on its side, but the Remote Mind has pixie dust on its side. May the greater force win.)
After the meditation session outside on my second-story terrace, I Noticed that my brother-in-law's internet cafe was still open at 11 p.m. and I had to decide whether or not to care about this. My brother-in-law, who is also my next-door neighbor, has assaulted me twice in the past for suggesting he run his entertainment business by the local ordinance and thus close it earlier, so people who get up at 5-6:00 a.m. can get some sleep. It took several tries, but I got this rehashed conversation with myself shut down just in time to keep it from ruining everything. Within seconds of my silently accomplishing this from the safety of my own home, I saw my brother-in-law came out of his house and tell everybody in the internet cafe to go home. I don't believe in coincidences; this was a Resentment Test and I guess I passed it.
Having managed to stay calm, I lay down and started dreaming before I went to sleep! As soon as I closed my eyes, entire scenes started to form. The only one I remember is a Shetland pony in a back yard with a cliff or very steep, rocky slope going down from the back of the yard. There was a cat the same color as the pony and we nuzzled each other's faces. Then I heard a noise--so I must have been in the Projection Room--and there was a huge purple pig grunting loudly. This was not Visioneering, and it was Beyond Noticing. I was dreaming without being asleep! I did lose consciousness, if you want to call it that, but when I got out of bed at 1:15 a.m. I wrote that I had been dreaming continuously but never felt like I was really asleep. Of course I was asleep but I was not in any typical kind of sleep. It took me 40 minutes to write down the dream I had, which included Chained content in the form of the pig and cat from the waking dream earlier.
When I lay down again, as soon as I closed my eyes, an object with alien writing all over it appeared while a mist parted for me to see it. Then the object, which looked like a thick brown tablet covered with raised letters, dots and symbols, tilted up slowly so I could see the alien letters. This scene repeated itself for me at least four to six times. Every detail was in high resolution including the wisps of fog that floated away so I could see the object. I watched other waking dreams spontaneously and effortlessly unfold and finally went to "sleep" if you can call it that. Even in my sleep I felt that energy was rushing through me as if I was on some sort of potent, but harmless and somewhat relaxing, psychoactive drug, but I was stone cold sober and in good health. Compared to actual psychoactive drugs, this would be the kind that is designed to merge with the body's functions instead of beat it up and make it tired.
At 4:45 a.m. I awoke with a slight headache from a series of extremely bizarre dreams. If you read them in my journal, I'll just say you have been warned. The pig appeared again, but not in a very happy way. However there is nothing overtly "positive" about a kundalini awakening. You have to take the bad with the good, and the way I got into this state to begin with, I am pretty sure, is that I somehow managed to suspend my hyperactively evaluative typical state of mind and spontaneously gave up my pushy attempts at manipulating myself into a magical mindset, and somehow landed in a sweet spot and effortlessly hung out there for almost 24 hours.
I couldn't go back to sleep, so I just took some headache medicine and lay around thinking about what I'd just been through. From the typical point-of-view--which I don't subscribe to--I didn't 'get unworlded' as such; but from my point of view, I was unworlded continuously for at least a whole day. What we don't realize is that the Dayly Dreame is an unworlding, but we usually waste it by allowing inertia to determine the contents and configurations of our minds. Somehow for a day I defeated this tendency without trying or planning to, and allowed one ordinary day to merge with the unknown, and now I know what "Focus 10" is.
[Back to bed. Will try to sleep now.]
[Can't sleep. I'm pumping out Professor U. d'Guru skits in bed and can't stop laughing. Going outside to meditate, try and calm down.]
[Back to bed after eating cheese and crackers.]
2108-02-01 1:18 am
[I am having a kundalini awakening. When I lay back down again I would see full-blown scenes by closing my eyes and waiting. This has never happened to me. It wasn't hypnagogic as such, but rather dream scenes with plots almost. I must have been in the Projection Room or something. I don't remember very much of it, but for example I remember a scene where I was in a back yard that bordered on its back edge with a steep slope or even cliff and standing there on my LEFT was a Shetland pony clear as day, and then clear as day here came a HUGE totally realistic purple pig and I COULD HEAR IT SNORTING. Before the pony was a cat, I rubbed its face with mine. A soft beige-colored cat and the pony was the same color. I think I have given birth to the body of air due to all the breathing. I have been in a state of ecstasy off and on since I made the Professor U. d'Guru Breath of Flight video yesterday, then got my internet connection shut off and enjoyed that too. I was dreaming (tonight) before I went to sleep but the only part I remember now is the animals in the back yard, but the following dream which I just had seems almost a continuation of it and I have no sense of having been asleep, but rather feel as if I've been dreaming continuously since I lay down, since before I went to sleep.]
"From Age One to Age Five Is a Mist"
Finally I've gotten [X] naked but it seems she's a zombie or something. For some reason I ... drop her off somewhere. Then I encounter the real her and she has knowledge of what was going on which is ODD. (Details forgotten.)
After much activity which I don't remember, I arrive back at the house I'm caretaking in the residential area of Glenwood--IDs as Greg A.'s house and color GRAY BLUE which is Cwahacoy's color. I walk in the garage through the Urumara/big open double-wide garage door and realize with quite a shock that I'd left the place wide open, nothing locked, house not locked, and I'm sure everything's in place but the problem is I haven't been back in days to feed the owner's animals which are all in the garage, or their food dishes are. The other problem is, when I go to pour some food for the cat, I see that someone else has seen my absence and gone in and fed it themselves which really stings, I am mortally embarrassed and somewhat offended that some meddler has been watching me and doing my work when I forgot to. Then I hear some loud snorting and Oh No! I've forgotten all about the PIG in its cage right there and it's starving, poor thing. [SAME PURPLE PIG AS ABOVE.] I see a lit CANDLE and next to it the TELEPHONE IS OFF THE HOOK and it's my mom and my sister talking to each other, so I put my ear next to it and LISTEN IN on their conversation to see what they're saying about me. But it's more interesting than that. Kay is talking about her early childhood and she says, "From age one to age five is a mist..." and I don't recall the rest of the words exactly but she was talking about it being easier to experience what someone else was feeling by somehow energetically placing yourself up next to the movie frames of their experience than it was to feel what you were experiencing yourself. (This is night time.)
I get in my CAR and start driving, aware that I didn't bother to put on my GLASSES first. I know I should be extra careful but I'm in an extremely ENERGETIC MOOD. At an intersection/the Urumara some cars nearly run into each other and nobody wants to wait their turn and my way to deal with this is to just plow through and hope they all miss me. Then I'm pushing the car to its utmost, and the car has plenty of power, very responsive, it goes up the hill like it was flat, a 4-lane road at the edge of town, lots of traffic, I get in the LEFT lane because I'm planning to take a U-turn without even slowing down, so I can go back for my glasses. I'm plunging up the hill fast and have a lot to think about, so don't bother to keep my HANDS on the steering wheel, so a man in the car behind me who wears a button-down Navy BLUE shirt and a straw hat who's concerned about my wild driving gets up right behind me and reaches into my car and grabs the wheel to make a small adjustment so I don't go off course and cause a collision. I find this meddling offensive so I take a swipe at him with my RIGHT arm, and wake up, [jumping up to write it down before I forget it.]
[Back to bed.]
As soon as I closed my eyes I was confronted with a totally clear vision which I played over and over in an attempt to see it even more clearly. I couldn't believe how spontaneously this came on and filled my screen of vision. I'm calling it an 'Alien Etch-a-Sketch' for now but of course it was something serious, not a child's toy but then again, who knows? I also thought it might be a picture of my Troovammickle but I have no idea.
It was just a single object, and besides the object itself, each time I played it over--maybe half a dozen times--the object was partially obscured by patches of semi-opaque fog which quickly broke up and dissipated at the exact rate at which I spontaneously--without trying or thinking about it--kept Metsuke properly adjusted, the balance between focus and detachment. I could feel all this taking place and recognized it for what it was without stopping to think about it. The thing about these goings-on was that it wasn't thought up, expected, watch for, or imagined; it was all completely surprising. In a way the most interesting and perhaps most relevant part was the way in which the fog just broke up and floated away to reveal the details of the device in question, the Alien Etch-a-Sketch or whatever it was.
The device itself could have been any size since there was no other object to measure it against, but assuming it was in fact about the size of an Etch-a-Sketch, about a foot long and ten inches wide, it was also about 2-1/2 inches thick. I'd say it was brown in color, a TWO-TONE BROWN in which case that would suggest a message from Smudgely the Fogjogger. It had no sharp edges, everything about it was softish and a bit rounded. Not fuzzy; the image itself was extremely sharp, but the object had no sharp corners in spite of being rectangular, but with rounded corners.
Each time I re-ran this vision--an ability that I did not stop to question--the same thing happened. As the fog broke up and made the object easily visible in close-up view, it would appear first in a nearly edge-on view so I could clearly see the front edge and could see the top surface obliquely. As I watched and continued to guard Metsuke automatically and effortlessly without thinking about it, the object would rotate toward me so I could see the top clearly.
The wide front edge of the object was covered with tall upraised dots and other symbols. The upraised figures were obviously symbols but raised up from the surface quite high, maybe half an inch. Whether they were made to be read visually, mechanically or both, I don't know.
As the top of the object came into clear view it was obviously also covered with raised symbols, much more apparently letters in an alphabet of some kind. None were recognizable as an alphabet that I was familiar with, nor can I reproduce them now. They were simple enough for the most part but Metsuke requires focus on the whole and I didn't even try to memorize one of the parts. It wouldn't have done any good anyway; I'm sure this alphabet, if that's what it was, was created extemporaneously by whatever force in me was trying to communicate with whatever part of me it was trying to communicate with.
[When I finally let this vision fade, it was quickly replaced by a few other visions before I went to sleep. I only remember one of these visions, and it was again a matter of Suspended Attention, a whole scene developed and I also entered the scene consciously. All of these Suspended Attention episodes involved a momentary ability to let the conscious mind's usual grasping get distracted so that a vision could establish itself and then I could move into it effortlessly since it was already there and I didn't have to force it or visualize anything whatsoever. I have truly found and experienced so-called Focus 10 or "Mind Awake Body Asleep" in a prolonged and conscious and recurring way for the first time and I'm very impressed. While this was happening, literally all night whether I was asleep or awake, I couldn't help but wonder if I'd gone over some kind of hump and would be like this from here on out. Fortunately (?) I woke up back to normal at 4:45 a.m. with a slight headache and felt I'd been put through a wringer. Took some aspirin and paracetamol and lay down for an hour but couldn't go back to sleep due to noise and interruptions. The headache went away, no problem.]
[The brown object with raised objects reminds me a lot of the "parking lot" I saw in a Screenshot during the sleep paralysis episode I had when I had my first Kundalini vision (2015-12-02) when I first started my practice.]
[Here is the last vision I remember from last night's incredible all-night Noticing session:]
[AWKlast] Walking on a flat mountain road of BLUE-GRAY GRAVEL, I take a RIGHT through the Urumara and duck through a tangle of dead branches that partially blocks the way/another Urumara. I see ahead still another Urumara: a huge puddle of accumulated rainwater or snow melt at least 8 inches deep and 8 feet wide. It seems this road is impassable. I wake up.
[These dreams came next. They were extremely intense. All night I felt like I was on some sort of psychoactive hallucinogenic drug but I was stone cold sober. I was wearing a mugwort ball over my nose but I've been sleeping like that for weeks, and most of the night I didn't bother with that as I obviously didn't need any help having dreams. Besides being intense and vivid, these dreams were BIG. There was a larger-than-life quality to them, not the usual hazy feel of dreams halfway thought up and halfway visualized. This stuff was happening to me, all out. And I was having a hard time with dimensionality; what size is the Unworld really?]
Walking with Mouse who I mistake for BK up or down a wide sloped sidewalk when the people around me appear to have disguised themselves as giants 25 feet tall. A woman walking past me appears to be some sort of giant nun or something. Mouse says she'll carry the baby on the way back, but since I mistake her for my mom, I wonder if she really should carry the baby? [Due to the size difference, maybe I am the baby? Is this a memory from infancy?]
Inside the place I keep excusing myself to go to the restroom but all I can find is a huge indoor swimming pool which seems to be housing a rainstorm so there are droplets and small waves and some overflowing. At least three times I enter this place and pee in the brown water in the dim light but finally the Boss appears and requests that I not pee in his swimming pool. As I'm leaving he calls behind me, "Thanks for your business though."
I leave into a black and white movie, very sharp definition, with black-background & white-lettered credits coming up from time to time between attempts to participate in this scene which I really don't want to do, I've had enough! But it gets worse.
The Three Stooges, especially Curly/Whirly who I as usual see with highest definition, are laying down in the back of two flatbed trucks, larger than life, with a huge PIG upside down in the truck next to Curly. Curly is using one of the pig's back legs like a pump handle, pumping the leg up and down to pump fistfuls of pig poop out of the pig's anus, which the Stooges then force themselves to eat, even though they don't want to. As each of them takes a huge mouthful and swallows it, I empathize completely with them and almost merge with them but I back out at the last second and return to the black-background/Nowhere credits listing the real names of the actors.
[Woke with a headache.]
[Back to bed.]
[Couldn't sleep. Still vibrating from the night's NON-STOP activities. Headache not bad. Will try again to sleep till 9:30.]
[Couldn't sleep. Will get T. from school at 11:00, should get up now. Kundalini signs and headache now only residual, actually hard to believe, but it really happened.]
[To bed. Watched Inception again. Hated it again.]
2018-02-02 4:55 am
[No dreams remembered. Meditation.]
Walking intersection without lanes Terry Miller/the Inventor/my 2ness body he goes out two cars meet River? Walk toward freeway think about meeting her in Sacramento, go back, Terry Miller, cross intersection again, think about money in wallet.
[Slept hard, few fragments recalled, almost nothing.]
[To bed. Nodding out. Will focus on adding the depth dimension to Noticing images. Drank one cup of muggons tea with double strength green tea.]
2018-02-03 3:00 am
Jeff and I have just got back to the US from the Phils and he's in a hurry to get home so he's driving too fast. I mention his driving and ask if he's gonna take me home first and he says yes. I think of asking if I can drive but I know what he'll say--I haven't driven in years, not since moving to Asia. Then I'd just say I was a good driver before I went to Asia. But I just woke up instead. Daytime, road winding through an industrial area close to RAILROAD TRACKS.
[Meditation. Sleepy. Water on face.]
[Back to bed. Suction of sleep.]
J. painting watercolor picnic table tulips congrats T. wants me to paint something too don't want to.
I have a stack of thick AIR CAR INVENTOR infolios [like Rex Research and others used to sell before the internet] and start looking through one entitled something about plaster. At first I see stuff I already have but with each page I turn I find better, longer, more detailed articles, stuff I didn't have, and clearer pictures. I look forward to scanning these pages and adding them to my collection. I tell J. I hadn't even looked at them before and she says she's the one who ordered them for me.
I go through the Urumara and we continue our conversation outside. She says she's decided since it's payday to replace all the random lumber scraps she's been using with real firewood. I don't know what she's talking about, since she's using the word "yayi" which I don't know. I ask for clarification and Bebing joins in and says she's talking about Jayruse. I object that Bebing changed the subject before I even knew what the subject was, and go through the Urumara/down a steep concrete dike wall about six feet high and admire the way my heavy-bottom rubber sneakers grip the nearly vertical wall. [Woken by people shouting outside. It's shopping day, all routines suspended for two days. Added note: it was in fact payday and I didn't get paid. Ensuing nightmares could be noted, it's now 2/26/2018 and I still haven't gotten my monthly check. --ed.]
[Soc. Sec. dep. was not made. PANIC TEST. Breathwalking.]
[Pixie dust. Neverland. Dream.]
"Not Gonna Do That Again For a Long Time"
Mark and I as my 2-3-4 and Limberluck have a house in the mountains on a steep windy gravel road. We go outside. I tell him to fly and I go up about twenty feet to show him. It's nighttime and I see Nitpicker and Potwatcher walking up the road not very close together so I tell Mark to hide and he gets off the road a little. My big GREEN bucket is close to the road and I worry they might STEAL it but then DECIDE TO NOT WORRY about it. I decide it would be fun to scare the rednecks so I FLY UP INTO THE AIR WITH MY FLASHLIGHT. I think I might drop my wash cloth on their truck windshield when they get up to where we are and let them WONDER where that came from, but they're walking so I just fly past them and shine my flashlight in the yes of the little blond redneck with the porridge bowl hair cut and make a sound. Not much sound comes out because I'm in urum but I figure he must have been a little scared, so I fly back up and do the same to the redneck with black hair, then I fly up to the house with just enough energy to get up the big front steps without using my feet. We run into the nice bright house and say to each other in perfect unison, "I'm not gonna do that again for a long time! That was scary as fuck!" [Woke up in ecstasy, decided to get up and write it down even though I was buzzing and could have gotten out again which I'll do right now.]
[Earlier when I'd just first gone to bed I had an AWK in which I knew I was a translucent BLUE bottle on a table but looked back and saw the bottle was now almost invisible and colorless. I knew that was because I had "left the bottle" i.e. left my body.]
[Soon J. and T. came to bed and had a snack and conversation and giggling fit before we all three went to sleep, me in my separate bed deciding to sublimate the potential distraction and have an amazing experience instead of getting annoyed.]
[Back to bed. Bring on the Pixie Dust!]
2018-02-04 12:40 am
Standing at the foot of Mt. Dragon, sure that I will REMEMBER THE WAY once I get up there, so I just need to start.
I pass a family and tell a teenage boy where he can find some ROSE QUARTZ. He says he has some already and tries to engage me in conversation. He obviously doesn't get the point about why someone would go to the mountains so I manage to get away and continue upward.
I take the Urumara/shortcut through a gymnasium. A coach mistakes me for one of his students and lectures me about putting things away. I go out the other door/the Urumara and continue on my way.
The Soul Retinue is there with Mouse as Anita. She finally admits that she did in fact bring a little something to smoke, so sits down on the ground to get it rolled up.
I'm pretty concerned about not RECOGNIZING LANDMARKS and it all gets more and more confusing. I know I'm dreaming so I reflexively move my body, not thinking to Just Get Up. [But which body did I really move?]
[Back to bed. Ready to go FLYING up and over.]
In a WHITE ROOM with an Urumara/staircase in it, some guy declares himself King of England and when King Fred of England re-enters the room from having been on an errand or going to the bathroom or something, I am the one who reads the proclamation off a folded up scrap of paper. King Fred says no such decision has been made, but I say it's my decision and he falls down the stairs so that pretty much settles the matter. Then Fred follows the new King around and tries to reason with him.
[Back to bed.]
Jeff and I have completed a project or vacation together and he presents me with a large number of expenses he wants reimbursed. They are written on dirty old playing cards. I'm sure I didn't authorize very much of this.
[To bed, just got home from T...m for basketball game anniversary and no shopping because money still didn't show up.]
2018-02-05 12:47 am
Amnesia came in during the last scene with each episode represented by/stored in a pair of panties soaking in the bathroom. This dream must have had four episodes because there were four pairs soaking. So this is how amnesia works: the memory is soaked up by a symbol and then only the symbol is remembered.
[No dream recalled.]
Outside at Manggahan, people milling around. Berting as a young man/Dream Usher wearing a magician's coat and top hat, looking straight at me. I nod awkwardly, then look away, but I figure I should not avoid him, so I walk up closer. He's juggling three marbles, putting them on his head and throwing them at each other by nodding his head, hitting one with the other or by spitting one out of his mouth at the other. I have a marble and I throw it at one of his marbles. I miss and I wake up.
[To bed, will meditate sitting up in bed first. Deep Meditation is not about forcing yourself to not think for 20 minutes; it's about staying in the one Moment. The one Moment, being infinity, is infinitely entertaining. Self-talk isn't needed, because it doesn't add to the Moment, nor can you add to infinity. You'll know you're in it when you're infinitely entertained by merely existing. Spinal Pranayama Breathing a.k.a. energy work is tactile imaging i.e. pushing energy from the 2-3-4 up to the Uppers and then letting it fall down again by its own gravity.]
Dragging a tool along the last ten feet under a CHAIN-LINK FENCE/the Urumara to kill weeds, I recall when it's almost too late that I'd planted pea vines here, just in time to avoid chopping every last one of them with my sloppy work.
2018-02-06 12:05 am
Working on a hobby basis for the Boss/Ron the machinist and his friend Jim Brant/the Boss. I am 4ness. Ron wants me to remove the YELLOW/4ness coating from some screws and nuts that will be used to assemble LIGHT SWITCHES. While Ron is working somewhere in the shop, Jim stays close by me making suggestions.
We end up in FLYING MACHINES, several of them. Rotors stop spinning, but they keep flying. Details forgotten.
[This is Unworlding Lessons plain and simple. The word "dream" has been officially replaced: dreams are now Unworlding Lessons. 4ness is not adept, needs to stop hoarding. Trying to evaluate the unworlding process into existence when unworlding is automatic, a natural process if left alone to do its own thing.]
[Slept through the 3:00 am meditation, never got out of bed. Meditation is the missing link, not some technique. There is no technique, just gradual attitude adjustments. Tests to pass one at a time.]
[Have succeeded in giving up coffee, then chocolate, the next thing is sugar, so the Uppers had Bebing gave me some coffee as a test, about a one or two week supply, that will replace sugar and make me hypoglycemic, so I will crave sugar. Flunked that test, could have thrown away the gift.]
[Shopping today if SS show up. Out of town Monday for Immigration annual report.]
[SS still not here, so I read my whole website section on mindset and it was surprisingly effective. Now I don't care. Don't mind being homeless and losing everything.]
[To bed, pissed, not sleepy.]
[Breathing non-stop for a long time.]
[AWK1] Something about unworlding.
[AWK2] From my Uppers: "I can either do... or... (in the Unworld--for me--) [NOTE: this 'from the uppers' is not an interpretation, it's what I experienced at the time.]
[Just started raining.]
In a place where they're doing a test on me. Mouse the doctor is looking through a microscope at my blood and I tell her I heard that the lab won't have my results for a couple days so she tries to describe the test results for me so I won't have to wait. She uses the phrase "key color" but at first I thought she said "ghee colored". I ask her if it would be possible for me to look through the microscope myself and she's about to comply [when the dogs outside woke me.] Mouse is tallish, 30s, dark brown curly hair.
[Back to bed after eating crackers and butter.]
[AWK1] "Every time I get invited someplace I try to stay overnight hoping there'll be some beer." --Limberluck
[AWK2] "I was the freak from California because I was the one who paid my rent." --Limberluck
[AWK3] I Limberluck am outside Noel's house when I see him and Bebe leaving on a motorcycle I call out loudly, "Bye!" Someone who was with me goes to Neyong the attacker's end of the court so I don't have to.
[Back to bed. FILD.]
2018-02-17 1:00 am
[I did not remember this until I started to get out of bed to record a dream.]
I went through the Urumara with full consciousness again. Impossible to describe and very hard to even remember. I don't know what if anything led up to it. All I know is a huge rush of real energy AS IF I WAS A FILTER AND SOMETHING WAS BEING PUSHED THROUGH ME... this is Kundalini Rising. I have been doing a lot of physical visualizing of energy moving up my spine in pranayama breathing before meditation sessions. Also just today I've been doing massive breathing not to mention a two hour breathwalking session just before bed. The most amazing thing about going through the Urumara is how it feels. The second most amazing thing is how easily it is forgotten. ABSOLUTELY MIND BLOWING RUSH OF ENERGY, including talking to myself about it during the experience but no recall of exactly what I said.
[The dream I then had was also pretty amazing because not only was it detailed but I experienced the dream not only from the point of view of someone named Carlos, I then turned around and experienced the dream through the eyes of Carlos' father-in-law to be. And this does not make me a believer in reincarnation--quite the opposite, since Carlos and his father-in-law are alive at the same time, it makes me a believer that we can merge with anybody and mistake them for ourselves. And more interestingly, merge with our "self" and mistake our identity for our being. The first person perspective is awareness; there is only one soul, awareness is not the person.]
I, Carlos [surname known in dream but now forgotten] am mulling over my decision to marry a certain girl and I'm nervous because I don't know if her father will like me. I'm sitting in a long 4-seater outhouse, wooden painted dark AQUA color. Darkish, no lighting though daytime. I experience a large amount of energy pushing through my body and interpret it as gas. I hear someone coming and out of courtesy, I close the inner door to my stall so the other person will not see me. I'm in the far RIGHT stall with the others to my left.
I'm walking toward an outhouse. This Carlos fella is going to marry my daughter and I am very nervous. I call his name and he comes out of the RIGHT stall. He has thick black hair and he's dressed in coveralls like a mechanic. We walk away together and I put my arm around him. I am extremely happy and I start laughing in relief because I like him! And he's marrying my daughter!
[Carlos is 5ness--the Dream Usher. The daughter is 6ness, Cwahacoy, whose color is aqua. Fiveness and sixness will be merging/marrying. The result is 8ness, Limberluck.]
[Back to bed. FILD.]
[AWK1] Going up to a large, tall, dark brown wooden door/Urumara with no markings on it which is the same door--as I am quite aware of--that I went through in the experience just prior to this one. Also mad because the door is unmarked; how can anyone find it? Once inside the relatively dark internet cafe I quickly realize I've switched to the Unworld but the experience does not continue. [I was not asleep].
[Back to bed. FILD.]
[AWK2] I'm going through half-melted plastic trash by HAND in front of the OUTHOUSE. I'm tired of trash and reassure myself that the concrete slab in front of the outhouse is sunny, warm, and clear of trash. Dream Usher says, "Go ahead, tell them about it. Tell them about it!" Phantom wiggle--Dream Usher lifts my right hand off the bed and hits the mattress with it which wakes me up.
[Back to bed. FILD.]
"Let's Go To Bed"
T. and I return home [to Amelia's house] very late at night. J. is not there. I think he's going to turn on the computer so I say, "Let's go to bed." and he says OK and I see he was actually turning the computer off. I recall doing some laundry earlier so I go into the utility room to check the dryer and it has clothes in it but not what I was drying so I figure J. must have done this load. It includes a pillow. All is still kinda damp so I decide to leave it for her to deal with.
A huge TWO-TONE BROWN DOG/Smudgely has come in the house and doesn't want to leave. I LIE DOWN and the dog lies down next to me so I look at its huge paws in detail and WONDER where they've been before being in my bed with me. I ROLL the dog OUT OF THE BED and the dog takes that in stride.
T./SC says something about some girl he knows from school and I see, sure enough, her house or something in her yard is burning right across the street. This is the Roggie's house. I see just piles of stuff, no house, and recall that their house was already devastated. So it seems someone has set fire to all their furniture and band equipment--amplifiers in their driveway and yard. I can SMELL the smoke and WONDER if the fire department has been called and if our house might catch fire too.
SC goes outside to see what's going on and I follow, thinking it might not be safe. I see in the large yard some neatly trimmed ornamental evergreen bushes and I'm sure I see a gnome or leprechaun or something so I stealthily approach the walking little person but the image is fleeting. I get the image back, sure enough--VERY LUCID but not Officially Lucid--and I run up to kick it as I feel it has to be kept in its place but it disappears so I turn around. I see other shadowy things in the yard, one turns out to be a small dog and another turns out to be the same huge two-tone brown dog and another just like it, playing together in the yard (Nitpicker and Potwatcher.)
I go through the Urumara into the house and aware that T. is still outside somewhere I see a huge GREEN patterned SNAKE inside the front door. I consider grabbing it by the tail and whipping its head against the wall, but I'm afraid I might grab the head by mistake since its body is all in an untidy pile and I can't make out where the end is. It's certainly not an innocuous innocent snake like I saw before. Then I realize it's a nest of several huge snakes in one pile, so as I call T. to come in and see the snakes, I WONDER where my machete is, but the top snake--two inches thick but only two feet long--leaps at me and I shout three more times, "T.!" each time more afraid and the last time in a total panic and wake up.
[Kundalini stuff, no doubt.]
[Back to bed, will sit up meditating for ten minutes.]
[AWK] Dream Usher is out in the yard shouting at me. Same person as "Carlos" in earlier dream. I am also him which is confusing so I think I might be J. [Was sitting upright in bed held up by grasping my calves/ankles so whenever I started to go to sleep, I'd start to fall and wake up. Several AWKs not recorded tonight including one last sleep cycle in which] I was Neyong the attacker and myself both, objecting to my cutting weeds close to his house then deciding it's OK.
[Back to bed. FILD.]
[No dreams recalled. Back to bed.]
[Can't sleep. Headache. Back to bed.]
At an outdoors event, some sort of park or campus. I have a crush on a young woman with long straight light brown hair who is singing in a small group. She gets tired and falls down, so it's time to make my move. I go over there but should I brush my teeth first? Instantly I taste toothpaste in my mouth. Now she won't like that, it's too obvious. I finally force myself over to her and ask her to go for a walk with me. She says something in response and I can't make it out, so I say, "What?" and she repeats the single word, but I still have no idea, but I assume she's limiting the walk in some way. Doesn't matter, she's walking with me isn't she, that's all that matters. I wake up in the Dayly Nightmare.
2018-02-08 3:15 am
Someone informs me that Terra has always had a crush on me so I prepare to move in with her.
At night very dark in a small CAR going steeply through the Urumara/downhill, Dream Usher driving, Mouse in front passenger seat, me in back seat on the edge of my seat holding my GLASSES on my lap. We're headed for the ROSE QUARTZ mine.
[Meditate in bed.]
[Had dreams, don't remember.]
[Lying down, Suction of Sleep.]
[Experienced one conscious throbbing trip through the Urumara, barely conscious.]
[My only mantra lately has been, "I can stay out as long as I want."]
"I Didn't Do It"
I only have 40 pesos so I'm gonna blow it on chocolate or something, who even cares, I'll deal with it once I'm properly broke. I go into an open-air Convenience Store on the west side of Santa Fe avenue. I see at the back a tall metal rack with a YELLOW Butterfinger wrapper and I think about how addicted I used to be to those candy bars, so I go for it, but once I'm carrying it to the front of the L-SHAPED store I realize it's Butterfinger-flavored cupcakes or something, not what I want, so I take it back. This time when I head for the Urumara/front of the store, big YELLOW onions start falling off the top of the rack and Stephen comes to fix it. I say, "I didn't do it."
At the front counter I decide I could start smoking again and I ask the young clerk with dark hair if he has some rolling tobacco or Shermans. Of course I can see he does, they're right there to my LEFT on the rack, but the YELLOW pack of cheap tobacco is open and I can't afford Shermans though I imagine somehow being able to choke them down, then he says none of it's for sale, it's the property of the store owner/Stephen who's standing to his LEFT behind the counter. I leave and I think I can hear Stephen's voice thanking him for not selling his tobacco.
In the CAR--DARK BLUE Toyota--I know I'm OUT OF GAS so I decide to drive it to my mom's house and park it--still in Kansas--but I'm headed east and she lives back west somewhere and the car is shuddering with gaslessness, hard to keep it going. I consider leaving it parked outside a tall office building ahead and to the LEFT even though I worry it might be destroyed by vandals since it's an OLD CAR. Seems like a better idea to get it to my mom's house so I go through the Urumara/head north and FORGET I'm almost out of gas.
For a while I'm AWARE THAT I DON'T KNOW WHERE I'M GOING, just driving aimlessly, when I realize I've FALLEN ASLEEP at a RED LIGHT.
Somewhat embarrassed, I take a RIGHT through the Urumara, kinda frantic and not checking to see whether the light is red or green, avoiding all the vehicles that had been trying to get around me on both sides. No one honked or got angry which SEEMS ODD.
[At some point I woke up and Chained back in--maybe here since the plot suddenly changed. I was aware of being awake in bed, realized I should just Chain back in, relaxed my body and looked at vivid images. Realized they're vivid because I'm in the Green Room having just woken up and I'm gone.]
Having arrived at my mom's house which is also Diday's house and I have a basement apartment, a long skinny concrete room/the Tunnel, with big four- or five-inch exposed pipes running the length of the ceiling. I awake barely conscious into this scene as my 2-3-4 falls asleep in the Dayly Dreame and I go through the Urumara/upstairs where all these women are sitting around at some sort of club meeting.
First I see Divine sitting on the floor in the bright kitchen doing something near the top of the stairs where I pop out of the Urumara. She is sober/Mouse, wearing a SKY BLUE t-shirt and leaning away from me so my main view of her is her back. I was SURPIRSED to see her: "Divine? Is that you?" and she nods soberly in the affirmative. Since she seems to think I am weird, I just keep going. Never mind her.
Mama is SC and Diday is Mouse. Mouse complains that it's so hot in my apartment downstairs, which is not my experience at all, and I'm planning to tell her that it's cool because of the big pipes acting as heat exchangers but I never manage to get a word in edgewise. Mouse is talking about a method of back support/exercise [i.e. spinal pranayama breathing] which she knows about called Boxobo--which explains a magazine I'd seen on the floor by that name which had the title "Boxobo" and a picture of someone sitting on a flat plate which bends and has an extension running up the back to form a covering over the head after another bend. The whole thing more or less C-shaped. SC brings me some sort of Japanese pastry when I get sat down at the WHITE chair with a study arm platform. At first I think it's gonna be those puffy Chinese things you can get at Trader Joe's and boil or fry in oil, but I see its really Japanese PIZZA. Tastes OK, but too sweet. [I wake in the Dayly Dreame hot and feeling guilty for sleeping instead of working in the garden.]
[This was Limberluck dealing with fundslessness and thinking how much "I like this place" re: the basement apartment.]
[In a dream, pretend to go to sleep. Jump up and fly through the ceiling into the Library, Meet all the members of my Soul Retinue and merge with them one by one. I can stay out as long as I want. Stand still and look around. I can stay out as long as I want. Teleport to the Library. I can stay out as long as I want. Just Get Up. Fly through the ceiling.]
[Drenched in sweat but it's not hot.]
The PHONE rings outside where we are in the dark, but up and around in front of the building. The Boss/SC signals me to run and get it, so I run up the steep hill/through the Urumara in the dark on the LEFT side of the tiny building and snatch the phone mounted to the front of the building, all very dark. The man starts in on his spiel, and I just listen. I can tell he's selling PHONE services so I listen to see if there's anything of interest. After a routine introduction he says, "Every hundredth day, it's clear and very hot. Every two-hundredth day, it's clear and very cold. You hardly ever see a snow woman [snow omen?]..." the long pause signals me to [wake up in the Dayly Dreame. It's just starting to rain.]
2018-02-09 4:39 am
[Been trying to get up to record dreams for hours, now it's too late to make any sense of it.]
[To bed for Awakenings.]
[Lie down in a dream and pretend to sleep. Jump up and fly through the ceiling into the Library. Meet with my Soul Retinue and merge with them one at a time.]
[Go to sleep with full consciousness right now. I know the Urumara, experience it now.]
[Suction of sleep.]
[AWK1] The knowledge that it's necessary to go three houses down--then this seems excessive and is corrected to two houses away, just to Manang Eles' house--and there to ask for HIGHER ENERGY.
[AWK2] From a borderline state I found myself aware of being in a dream scene--forest--trees but wake up immediately upon increase of lucidity.
[Meditation. Seemed like 30 minutes.]
[To bed. In a dream lie down and pretend to go to sleep, then jump up and fly through the ceiling into the Library. Meet my Soul Retinue one by one, merge with them all. Repeat the affirmation: "I can stay here as long as I want."]
[Back to bed.]
2018-02-10 6:15 am
[Did not get up to write dreams. Meditated in bed at 4:15 but not for long. Forgot most details.]
Joe C. AIRPORT food.
Using a complex computer scanning device with a screen. Have accidentally deleted a colorful cartoon strip at the bottom of a large magazine like Billboard. From recycling bin I'm able to find very low resolution pages and that's not good enough so I look into further capabilities of the machine. Mouse helps me.
I get it turned around the right way and folded out into the machine it could be then find that the function it has of washing dirty pictures--pictures with dirt and gravel on them--only works if turned way up high--which makes me think it was discarded for a reason since I got it for free. I decide to do without the washing machine function and just use it as a scanner.
[I can stay out as long as I want.]
[Woke up in the Green Room watching detailed visions of networks of pipes growing out of each other like a Windows screensaver. Went back to sleep.]
2018-02-11 12:15 am
At a rural outdoor event where proper etiquette is to keep your mouth shut or else, a very old man/SC whispers to me about the danger. I look out over the dry SANDY area and there are no white people and only a small group of black people--1940s?--standing at a distance. A light peacock BLUE station wagon--boxy.
To save lives it is announced we will only raise HANDS and vote, no standing or talking. We whites are in a crude small bleachers. I mainly see HANDS/ARMS in the air as someone asks, who wants girls to go? Boys? Boys and girls? etc. With relief at the outcome a few people chuckle softly. The last question is, "Who got what they wanted?" and everyone raises their hand. One woman says she DOESN'T KNOW WHAT'S GOING ON.
[Back to bed. Choline #1.]
[No dreams recalled. Back to bed. Choline #2.]
"The Game I Have Lost Is the Game You Have Won"
I'm in a somber, sad mood. The reason for it is hard to explain but the best I can do is to say that I've given up some part of my hopes and dreams for the benefit of my little boy. Now it's too late to get my hopes and dreams back, but I still have my son, and he's always ready to innocently absorb more sacrifice.
Suddenly I'm in a small rowboat on a beautiful, smooth-flowing river, telling myself that I have to bring my son here. But first I'll have to teach myself how to row, so I'll have something to teach him. I pass a few swimmers in the water as I row for all I'm worth. I imagine that I'm pointing the oars the right way at the right time, remembering not to drop them in the water and then reminding myself that they're in oarlocks, so there's NOTHING TO WORRY ABOUT. I do my best under the circumstances as there's no one there to teach me exactly how to row a boat. I can't help but notice that a huge pull on the oars makes the boat surge forward only a little ways, and then the next pull has to come after that. What I don't quite notice is that with each pull of the oars I'm pumping more and more ecstasy into my body.
Then as I pour my Intent into pulling once more on the oars, intending for the boat to shoot forward, the scene disappears and I float upward into a pure white Nowhere, so utterly ecstatic that I'm gritting my teeth from the intensity of the energy flowing through my body, and tears are squirting from my eyes. I am totally paralyzed with bliss but I'm not afraid. I know I'm dreaming but what difference does that make?
As I wake in bed gradually, I realize that the scene was set to music, with a mellow male voice singing, "And I'm flying, I'm flying, 'cause the game I have lost is the game you have won."
[Like all dreams, this is not just about the obvious theme, in this case the father/son relationship, parental sacrifice, etc. It is that also, but on another level of symbology, this is about the things we sacrifice--the parts of the world we crave and have to give up--in order to merge more and more into the Unworld. It's about the effort involved and the occasional sudden jolts of realization that we're doing the right thing. A realization which then evaporates as we go back to the pushing, pulling grind, one breath at a time, one meditation session at a time. Devotion to this practice is the only thing that keeps it moving forward, and there's always the option of going back to what was once so entertaining. But you can't go back, it doesn't work. Once you've experienced the Unworld and looked out over eternity, you no longer want what you once had, so pulling yourself forward against gravity becomes the only option.]
[To bed. Exhausted.]
[After long delay getting up, details forgotten.]
Working in the Postal Center with Brian S. and others. The customer is doing something long-winded and tedious. Brian is friendly to me. finally I get to go. While walking to my car a man with a new rifle gets the gun out of his car and aims. It is loaded with pencils not bullets. The first one is slow and poorly aimed but the 2nd time I can tell he means business. I try to retain dignity by not running to my CAR but this causes them to catch me before I can get my door locked. They discuss the torture they've got planned for me as I force myself awake, genuinely afraid.
[Headache. Kept going to sleep dreaming about recording the Dream. Added Note: while typing this I don't recall where the title "918411" came from, but following the usual pattern, this would be words heard in the dream or going through my head as I woke up. I ran the numbers through my triangle routine and it makes very unusual repetitious patterns in the triangle it generates.]
[Back to bed.]
2018-02-12 4:30 am
A friend/SC and I have been offered live-in positions as guardians of a realm or neighborhood such that our job is to live in the Urumara/a cottage that blocks an alleyway that is the only way to a certain place where no one must go. The whole thing takes place in a mythical, peaceful North European kingdom which is peaceable so the risk is zero as there is no enemy. We will also be expected to be prostitutes but this is a minor point forgotten in the flow of the dream. The experience is disorganized, possibly Chained together vaguely through the night's sleep cycles, no order really but it seems to start with an extremely informal meeting with something like landlords of the cottage where we will live. A couple. The question is raised whether we will be paid by the hour, the month, or tips, or some combination. In one scene I question whether or not we will be sex slaves of government officials. In one scene I wonder how two guys will function as prostitutes living in the some remote cabin. In one scene we're being shown the way there past all these colorful houses which all have a gingerbready character, and I am well aware that I LOVE THIS PLACE. In one scene I'm worried how the place will be heated.
The most vivid scene is where DR and Charlene DRIVE ME to the BUS DEPOT and Charlene is left in the car. Wintery but not uncomfortable. DR knows which bus I should take, he calls the place where we're going "Brooklyn" and the question is whether to take the eastbound or westbound bus. I look at the signs in the DEPOT and one old sign says the Eastbound is "nearly canceled". We're standing with a small group of citizens inside, then move outside or vice versa. I have an old little metal toolbox with PIANO repair materials in it which is held shut with a rubber band.
Lucidity goes way up when I see that Mouse/an old woman in a huge beige coat has made off with my toolbox and is wandering around incoherently with it hanging open from her hand since the rubber band is broken. I confront her loudly and all eyes are on me to see what I will do. I'm extremely aware that in this realm there is no judgment for either her or me, so I decide not to punch the old woman. She's incoherent and babbling nonsense so I just take my toolbox back.
[I vaguely recall] heading for a BUS finally [but can't remember how it ends--did not get up right away and again found myself in an altered state, half asleep, making up new scenes to add when I'd intended to lie still and repeat the story to myself.]
[Back to bed. Headache. No coffee yesterday.]
[After working in the garden I sat in a chair sweating for a long time doing nothing. Then I put the woven mat on the floor and lay down, I don't know what time it was.]
[AWK] I see NickNick going along the side of the chapel.
[Woke up with a headache.]
Somehow I find myself LYING IN A BED on top of a white tufted bedspread in a large American style bed in a typical master bedroom with Roel. For some reason I ask him if he's ready to give up Catholicism. He says he's trying to escape it.
My eyes are closed. He kisses me on the lips. I kiss him on the third eye. [That's all I remember. Weird, must be a coffee headache dream. You know it's time to give up coffee when it gives you headaches before you quit drinking it.]
[AWK] I step off an elevated place with my left foot and slide about a foot down a steep muddy bank with no footing.
2018-02-12 11:15 pm
"Do You Always Have Five Eyes?"
[There's a karaoke party going on next door--a thorny DISTRACTION TEST which I passed--by almost getting annoyed, but managed to tell myself not to bother as it wouldn't do any good, and that's about the last thing I remember before accidentally going to sleep. I had been experimenting with a new concept which I learned about only experientially--by doing it--which is that Noticing IS Blaffinveigle.]
The first thing I recall about this long, detailed unworlding is general excitement over the fact that someone has found a dead body and brought it into the front yard/the Nowhere and people are clustering around for a better look at it including my companion SC, a child himself. I just keep walking straight across the lawn. The body is in a baby crib and I don't want to see a dead baby. To allay the mortification that I feel over the incident, I mentally imagine pulling organs out of a dead baby and hearing a slurping sound as they pop out. This fades the plot as I am extremely close to knowing this is just a dream anyway.
I Chain to a more acceptable scene in which I have come to an all-night vigil for a dead person. The driver was Rick from the Solid Rock Singers and my companion is Breeze, but both are SC. Rick does a lot of drinking and singing.
Since this is a vigil, not a funeral, it's more or less a 24-hour-a-day party and it's assumed that people will spend the night, but they have to fend for themselves, sleeping next to strangers in beds, etc.
[Recall that my Intent Agenda has been to lie down in a dream and I have done this NUMEROUS times in dreams lately and was thinking about this earlier today.]
I'm LYING DOWN IN A LARGE BED full of people next to a guy who talks to me [to keep me alert] and then another guy/the Dream Usher--but really the same guy since all these guys are identical--is literally sleeping on my legs so I move to the couch across the big room where one of my companions had piled our just-cleaned laundry including a large GREENISH-YELLOW filmy sheet or wall-covering with patterns printed on it/the Nowhere. On an old dull brown sofa with big, heavy cushions which is across the well-lit large open room which is apparently a bedroom for all these people. Mostly young men with brown hair, BROWN slacks and white long-sleeve cotton button-down shirts. [The big room IDs as the entertainment room at my parents' church when I was four or five years old, where they had bazaars (like a flea market for used clothes) and dances called 'Couples Club'.]
From the bed where I lie, I WONDER what kind of bugs I might get from that old BROWN sofa, it looks really dusty and threadbare, but someone already piled our clean laundry on it so at least I can lie on top of the clean laundry. I mentally QUESTION this for a second then decide it would be perfectly OK to sleep on top of the clean laundry and in fact it would be quite comfortable.
So I'm LYING DOWN/fulfilling a primary Intent Agenda item and using a brown sofa cushion over my face to shut out the light as if it was my sleep mask. [Reminiscent of an earlier dream in which a helmet or something brown and fuzzy fell over my eyes as I went to sleep in a dream, which is what inspired the agenda item to begin with, as I have been planning for a few months to "lie down, pretend to go to sleep, jump up lucid" etc. Though the etc. didn't get done which is OK, I have all night to do that because I had this unworlding after only one sleep cycle just to beat the experts. I am wide awake right now, had a pretty good sizzling Vibes going on when I woke up.]
I wake up around 8 the next morning and talk to Breeze about getting home somehow as the party is over as far as I'm concerned, although a lot of people are up and about. Breeze and I decide we want to go home but the guy we came with, Rick from the Solid Rock Singers, is probably in no shape to drive since he was up drinking and singing karaoke all night. I ask someone what time he went to bed and they say about midnight and I decide that's not so bad, he should be able to drive no problem.
Sitting outside next to Breeze on a wide sidewalk I tell him we might as well walk home, it would be fun and "I walk three miles a day just for fun." [Breathwalking.] I see something silver with a face on it about ten feet away on the sidewalk and I say, "Let me grab this quarter first," but I know it's too big to be a quarter. Probably a silver dollar but then I find it's just a candy wrapper with a picture of a large silver coin on it.
Then when I'm sitting on a concrete bench or raised area of some kind, a group of about ten dogs come up to me and I remember we brought three dogs including the little one which I call by name which is not ours and I say to Breeze we must take responsibility for those dogs so WALKING might not work. [Walking was a prior agenda item. I was supposed to fly thru the ceiling this time, after pretending to go to sleep in a normal dream.]
The small dog just mentioned is now a one- or two-year-old boy who is wearing only white underpants and is squatting with the underpants pulled down to his ankles, looking at me with a kind of glazed-over expression. A man walks by and where the little boy had been squatting there are some brown flattish lozenges about an inch across which appear to be dog food by their grainy texture. He feels one with his fingers and ascertains that it is in fact just dog food, not baby poo as we had both worried that it might be.
[At some indeterminate point I become deliciously and deliriously aware that this whole thing is taking place in the Unworld, and yet at the same time I manage to stay relatively calm and I also--with good effect--am sure that I CAN STAY OUT AS LONG AS I WANT which has been pretty much my only affirmation lately as I'd gotten tired of writing "lie down, pretend to go to sleep, jump up and fly thru ceiling," etc. in my journal every time I went to bed. In fact today I only wrote the time and nothing else when I went to bed, which turned out to be an effective act of confidence in this case because I was pretty sure something was fixing to happen due to the fact that I've been meditating almost constantly all day and thus staying aloof from the worries of the world.]
[I don't know exactly what was happening or what triggered Official Lucidity. I didn't get excited and start screaming "I'm dreaming!" or anything like that.] I am sure I'll be able to maintain the state for a long time. I recall jumping to Attention in a way but at the same time maintaining equanimity, and staying busy, but doing what? I don't remember until I started FLYING AROUND SINGING back-and-forth IN FRONT OF AN EIGHT-FOOT LONG MIRROR/the Nowhere in a place that IDs as my parents' bedroom from my earliest childhood home, but bigger. I don't pay much attention to my image in the mirror and I don't remember what I was singing.
Then I do something else or say something to somebody in a devil-may-care, "I'm dreaming so I can do what I want" kind of attitude so I'm just being rambunctious in general, tearing around ecstatically and mildly raising hell. I recall not wanting to actually destroy anything, but for example, I want out of the room where I've been flying and find a tall, narrow PINK closet door/the Urumara blocking my way out of the room, the kind that folds up and has several long vertical hinges and is made of slats, not solid. The Urumara/exit it's blocking is only a foot-and-a-half wide. I unfold it and there's another one behind it, identical to it, so I unfold that and then two more identical PINK slat doors and say with mock cantankerousness as Limberluck, "Who uses so many doors," and go through the Urumara into the kitchen where the Dream Usher is waiting in ambush for me, but I haven't seen him yet.
Someone is having trouble opening a freezer DOOR/the Urumara so as part of my super-confident and aggressive mood, I say, "Let me help you with that," and since I am so aware I'm in the Unworld and in a funny mood as Limberluck getting lots of attention, in this vein I just lift the door off its hinges. That'll teach some nincompoop to whine about not knowing how to open a freezer door.
I look for a place to put the door down and a cart conveniently appears for me to put it down on. As I'm putting it down I see the shelf thing has a bunch of candy in it, including candy corn, some of those Halloween candy-corn pumpkins, and some really old-looking smallish strawberries, so I figure since I'm just dreaming, I might as well gorge myself before I move on to something important since this unworlding is obviously gonna last forever or as long as I want it to. Someone says watch out, all that candy's gonna fall on the ground, and I say not if I grab it first, so I grab a handful. When I look up to my LEFT I see a tallish ugly swarthy guy in a blue and purple long-sleeved flannel shirt with curly, slightly long black hair and big bushy mustache, a mouth breather, kinda sweaty and needing-a-shave look to him, and he's staring at me. Looks like Bobby Furlani. I assume he's hung over. I know he's a brother of the guy [Rick] who I came with, whose name I now happen to know is Darrell Hallmark, so just to be obnoxious I ask him, "Say, are you the brother of Darrell Hallmark?" While he stares at me somewhat stupidly I look at his eyes in a cross-eyed way to make his eyes multiply so that there appears to be five of them: a pair on each side of his face and one in the middle, and I'm planning to ask him, "Do you always have five eyes?" but instead of saying this, I notice I'm waking up and I allow that to happen, satisfied that this is the longest unworlding I've had in years and ready to jump up and write it down before I forget all the details.
[They fade fast. I'm surprised how much I did remember and I now see that the length and continuity of the experience that I was so excited about included the early part of the dream which was prior to Official Lucidity. So this confirms my theory about three-dimensional gauging of lucidity; it's not just Official Lucidity that counts to the dream body in the dream but also length of the dream in subjective time (how long it seems to be) as well as personal meaningfulness or depth, and the height of lucidity is vividness, detail, that sort of thing. So all in all I agree with my dream self that this was in fact the most lucid unworlding I've had in about two years.
I have been building up to this, not with the usual tricks, but with literally meditating all day, breathing a lot, doing long breathwalking sessions about two hours, getting daily exercise, and living in the Moment. No other technique was used except dream journal I suppose. I had gone to bed in a completely detached mood, physically tired, but not sleepy.]
[In order to get into this detached mood I had quite a bit of testing to undergo because my monthly pension check is ten days late and we're almost out of food. But today instead of being in freak-out mode about it I just cleaned the refrigerator and actually kind of enjoyed that old feeling from the good old days before I was on ss.]
2018-02-13 1:10 am
[Back to bed. I plan on having several more lucid dreams tonight. Choline #1.]
[Dream forgotten, ended with the words, "A nice big round butt like me." Back to bed Choline #2.]
Standing in front of the Urumara/a chain-link fence. A large whitish flying bug gets my Attention by BUZZING very loudly as if CAUGHT IN THE FENCE/Urumara. I back off in alarm. I WONDER IF I'M DREAMING but this is obviously real. I go through the Urumara/a dark BROWN wooden entranceway to my LEFT which ELONGATES INTO A TUNNEL-like building, but I'm chased back out by the sudden arrival of a dark red-BROWN fluffy animal with long legs and neck, a llama but I can't think of its name and the word that comes to me is 'camel'. The camel runs from me back into the Tunnel.
I start hollering "Naa'y camel nakabuhi!" ["A camel has gotten loose."] T.'s Uncle Dodong hears me and runs off as if to catch the animal.
Looking through the Urumara into the Nowhere, on the other side of the chain-link fence a big TIGER is lying in the sun about 50 feet from me. I didn't know we had a TIGER, why didn't anyone tell me? I decide not to be afraid because from this distance the Tiger looks to be only two or three inches long, I bet it could go right through the holes in the fence.
[I wake up in the Dayly Dreame and Chain back in.]
I'm LYING IN A BED at an outdoor event that involves a series of feasts prepared by the local children of Manggahan [the Asian village where I live. The children are SC.] I am one of the invited participants but the other person in the bed SC is not. A child sloppily puts a plateful of food on my chest before I'm fully awake or sitting up. I think it's rude to not give food to everybody so I give my food to SC and get out of bed and start wandering around looking for a way to get some food for myself. I'm aware that it might have to be paid for, but I'm NOT WORRIED ABOUT THAT, it won't cost much and maybe I can finagle it for free. I am Limberluck.
I go through the Urumara/turn into a U-shaped alcove formed by tables--this is all outdoors--wherein Mouse/Aunt Ruth is working. Looks in her 50s, dark hair [she lived to 98, was an Aries like me, and fostered over 300 orphans in her home during her life, so I like to brag about being related to her.] I don't think she's in on this plot to sell food or to limit who eats it, so I try to find a plate so I can serve myself. It doesn't have to be a plate, anything will do. I grab a roundish thing but she wags her head No, that's a dark GREEN teapot, so I put it down. Next I grab a funnel used to hold a coffee filter, but scraping out the used wet coffee grounds so I can put food in it seems inadequate somehow. Somehow I end up with a plate in hand and I see some rice that has gotten stained by something PURPLE like beet juice and something GREEN also. I take the stained part and put the rest back, explaining to Mouse, who is tacitly a cohort in this theft, in a humorous way, that it should be free since it's already ruined anyway.
I find some chicken to put on my plate and I'm tempted to taste the frosting off of some large ORANGE and YELLOW cakes but it occurs to me that they are for a birthday party that the children/hosts will be putting on later in the day so I don't touch the frosting even though I want to. [Passed the Appetite Test.]
I decide it would be more sensible to seek out some corn as I can see that others have eaten corn because of all the cobs in the dirty dishes area. I approach some trickster dudes who've finagled their way in to scam leftovers, and they've gotten the last of the corn before I could. I ask them where the corn is, knowing what they'll say, and they say, "It WAS right there," indicating an empty container to their LEFT on the long table. This whole thing is taking place on a bright sunny day in a large area under some trees.
I look further and see that Sarah and Kevin are still eating at the very far end of an empty table and I ask them if there's any corn left. Sarah says no, just the "____" kind--a technical word for half-formed cobs with kernels growing only on half the cob. I reply, "No kernels?" but the short cobs are covered with kernels on half and there are three of them so that should be plenty. After all, it's free isn't it?
[AWK1] Reading a book. Able to hold the image after achieving Official Lucidity. It turns into a ROYAL VELVET BLUE haze. I can hold the image of the haze with the faded book behind it after I am awake.
[To bed. Tummy ache, fatigued. Amazing images instantly upon closing eyes. HYPNAGOGIA = BLAFFINVEIGLE. Have been in the zone all day for a few days due to lots of Blaffinveigle including regular sitting meditation and the other types of Blaffinveigle too. Lay in bed about an hour without sleeping, got restless legs and did more breathing to put myself to sleep.]
"Bye Steve" (A long Chained Officially Lucid unworlding.)
I'm Limberluck. Dark Nevada City dusty street in front of me, parking lot across from me, bridge to the RIGHT. Misty Mountain Hot Tubs would be to the left, Broad Street to the left of that, and the Miner's Foundry behind me a couple blocks.
Two cars go into the lot moving directly away from me. The first is unseen/SC, some sort of van. The second is a small panel truck from maybe the 1940s and I never see the driver but I can read his mind by looking at his truck and the way he drives. He is a feisty little cuss looking for a fight, and he's tailing the other vehicle in the wee hours, with bad intentions, in an intimidating way. There's no paint on his truck, just rust and maybe some primer or old paint worn off to bare metal. The persona of the TRUCK is anger and road rage ready to surface.
Lucidity level is very high throughout this experience and I pretty much knew I was dreaming the whole time but never gave it much thought, just kept on dreaming in my favorite place, Nevada City dreamtime.
The hillbilly's dog jumps out of his truck--I've dreamed about this dog before, it has a thick pointed snout--of course it's actually Smudgely but this doesn't occur to me--the dog is crazy, runs under its owner's moving vehicle and just rolls around, doesn't get hurt. At first when I think the dog is done for, I think this must be the owner's karma, to lose his dog due to his own bad behavior, but the dog gets away from the crazy truck and runs over by me. I say, "Go with your master, I'm not mad." Lucidity increases.
I decide to walk home. I will enjoy this. I LOVE THIS PLACE. I do some flying [but memory of this is fogged over. All I was able to recall even yesterday when I made my notes was...] flying up a dark street. Oops I'm waking up, so I tell myself to not wake up [My affirmation lately has been "I can stay out as long as I want". I Chain back in. Order of events is best I can do.]
Dark Nevada City street heading toward Grass Valley, over the bridge and past SPD, its a long ways home. I have a nice walk ahead. I remind myself to always do this walk.
In Nevada City very late at night, I'm the last to leave the Bookstore. I am very lucid right now, but fairly calm, in a walkway/alleyway of nice red brick, sort of a mini-mall. I look through the Nowhere/glass wall/glass door. Everything is quaintly lettered in old time gold letters on the glass. I see inside the darkish business place, a tabletop scale and other old-fashioned objects, all antique with brass parts. I'm ecstatically announcing to myself how FAMILIAR everything is: I know what that is, I know what this is. Official Lucidity's highest point of the night.
I'm the last to leave but I forgot something, look that GUITAR is leaning the wrong way against the wall, I'd better fix that so it doesn't fall down.
I've just left the Bookstore when I remember I've forgotten my cigarettes inside. The proprietor exits behind me, all is dark, and the man is some kind of freak, which I don't mind since I'm vaguely or calmly lucid, just taking everything in stride. The man is a small, bizarre double person, as if he has two torsos: one where it should be, and another one wrapped around behind that one so that his head is at his side and looking up at me with wide eyes, not much different from one of Mr. Bean's strange looks. The monstrous individual is neither funny nor frightening, just weird and somewhat powerful in a way.
I go back in for my cigarettes and forget about that--and get even more lucid--when I see a man sitting on the edge of a bed in his pajamas. His head is bowed as if he is asleep or semi-comatose, and it's dark so I look closer and see he's whacking off ferociously. I become extremely lucid and very much the Limberluck character as I spontaneously quip, "Don't jerk off, Fred!" instead of being embarrassed.
All this is forgotten when I see a tiny baby is also being left in the dark building, in a baby container or bassinet, wrapped in baby blankets, sleeping. I suddenly feel guilty, like I should spend more time with this baby, as if I am its father. Now I don't want to leave, but I say, "Bye baby," and wake up in the Dayly Dreame. As I wake I hear the words, "Bye Steve."
[In a way this was a big milestone because instead of having a lot of lucidity for a few seconds and then waking up, I doled out my energy--or let the Dream Usher do it since my conscious mind doesn't know how--and retained marginal lucidity throughout several scenes including one near wake-up and some do-over scenes. No way to construct a proper narrative from the above but it had a soft, velvety-brown glow to it and I was ecstatic when I woke up, with the feeling that the lucidity I was generating during the day by near-continuous performance of Blaffinveigle had just continued on into the night. This was in fact the case, as seen in the dream I had during the next sleep cycle, which was not Officially Lucid but was still meaty and lucid according to my way of thinking.]
[Back to bed.]
2018-02-14 12:25 am
[It is the 1st anniversary of the unworlding in which Limberluck asked Cwahacoy to marry him. That was Milestone 14 and this night is Milestone 31, so that means I had seventeen milestone unworldings in the past year. Really more than that because there are several huge events just in this chapter, including the following Big Dream which was an awesome Unworlding Lesson and a lot of energy work was done.]
"You're Wearing My Shirt"
I'm Limberluck. I arrive at a GAS STATION at a remote location on the freeway, just me and my suitcase, walking.
I NEED SOME GAS but everybody who needs gas has to go up in a HELICOPTER first. That's how it works here. I'm not treated like the others for some reason--there are guys standing around all over the place like shadows, just waiting. I finally get tired of waiting for my turn and I ask the operator--Whirly--if I can go next. He starts out to say I have to wait my turn like all the others, but I say I'm not with their group and I've been waiting already an hour. He says all right, but unlike the others, we're going to delimb a large tree from the helicopter. I agree.
Once we're up in the helicopter I realize I'm to be the one holding the chainsaw and dangling by one hand from the open hatch in the bottom of the WHIRLYbird. He can't hold the bird steady over the big bare tree which is mostly delimbed already, we just have to cut the two big main forks off it at the top. He gives up on me and says I'm too afraid.
Simultaneously, I'm watching myself from the ground. I see myself in a state of nerd panic, clinging to a running power boat motor and being lowered gently to the ground by a rope or cable. (There's no helicopter.) My eyes are glazed over in panic. When I touch ground inside the huge warehouse-sized service station work area and the spinning propeller starts clattering on the concrete floor, I--as Whirly--run over and punch the off button in disgust, then I become the other I. Whirly is a large athletic guy with curly blond hair like Frank Kepple's.
I'm once again the me who was paralyzed in fear but I feel I did my best since Whirly as pilot never got me close enough to the top of the tree to dangle from the helicopter with one hand while operating a big chainsaw with the other. The Boss is there--Jim Brant--and I ask him, "Didn't I do pretty good?" and he agrees.
Now Whirly wants to take me out for a beer or something and I'm afraid, but OK I'll still go. But first I have to find my shirt because I'm not wearing a shirt.
I'm looking for a certain cotton button-down short-sleeved shirt, two-tone BLUE with white background, plaid with LIME GREEN translucent highlighting--I go through the dorm area quickly, which is on a TRAIN, and all the berths are disheveled but I briefly look trough all four of them TWICE even though I feel I'm INVADING without the owners' inviting me in, so I don't look through their stuff or in the closets.
Back outside, it's now raining and Whirly's in a hurry to go. A big, ugly swarthy guy--the Dream usher--who is the owner of the gas station--has an alternate plan for me and I want to please him too, but I already promised Whirly and I don't want to let him down again, so I put the ugly guy off. He walks away saying something and I give him a thumbs-up in response. When I extend my thumb it POPS loudly several times.
Finally I see that Whirly is wearing my shirt under his long BEIGE coat, so I say, "You're wearing my shirt!"
Now it turns out that we're actually gonna meet Whirly's friends, but SC from the crowd of men hanging around says, "His friends will be vile to you," and I say I'd rather not go.
He's on his motorcycle driving off into the rainstorm down the highway and the Dream Usher is taking off the opposite way, and I'm calling to both of them because now neither one is willing to entertain me, which is very frustrating. I am manically trying to tell both Whirly and Dream Usher, as they are abandoning me, that I had just remembered I've DREAMED all this stuff before, about the missing shirt. I'm disappointed they don't want to stick around to hear my story. I wake in the Dayly Dreame.
[This was about experiencing the rough Vibes.]
[Back to bed. Remember to wake up in 1.5 hours to meditate at 2:30. Suction of Sleep, I see images immediately upon closing eyes, will FILD/breathe back to sleep.]
[AWK] I'm being offered a sweet treat made by Maribel A.--same color as the one that gave me indigestion earlier. [When I Noticed the AWK I remembered only then the way the prior dream ended with me trying to tell the Uppers I had been dreaming while they were busy abandoning me back to the Dayly Dreame. How many experiences do we have that are lucid at the time but immediately forgotten? Or are we all the same person having an infinite number of dreams at the same time, with a limited capacity for remembering them upon 'waking up'?]